implausible - woosan

chapter thirty three

possible TWs: manipulation/emotional abuse

san wooyoung

26.08.17

wooyoung's hands curl in his lap, fists tightening around the material of the sweatpants adorning his enraged persona. he's frustrated, and justifiably so.

not being able to see what hongjoong is doing, he can't help but flinch when he hears his boyfriend's threatening footsteps near him. the door has closed, indicating yeosang and san's departure, which means that they are alone in the room.

biting his tongue, wooyoung tries not to give away his liability. he doesn't want to overreact or come across as too sensitive to the older, or let him know that his spiteful remarks have hurt him. hongjoong probably hadn't meant everything he said- he tells himself, trying to empathize. it was just in the spur of the moment.

"nothing happened between san and i." wooyoung says as calmly as he can after taking a deep breath. "you don't have to believe me, but that's the truth. it just hurts that you jumped to that conclusion so fast, y'know?"

hongjoong doesn't say anything for a while, mulling over the events. wooyoung waits with his head hung low, the heavy blank space around him an impermeable curtain that he feels hinders proper communication. his blindness never feels more prominent as it does when he's alone with hongjoong, in more ways than one.

"you're the one i'm dating." wooyoung continues assuringly when he still doesn't hear a reply. "but there needs to be mutual trust between us-"

"don't break up with me!" he suddenly interrupts, catching the younger by surprise. "i don't know what i'd do if you broke up with me. you just can't! i'm- i'm sorry for the things i said..."

he certainly was not expecting that. wooyoung had prepared himself for more insults, perhaps an argument- but not for hongjoong to switch up entirely, not so quickly.

"i don't- i'm not-" he raises his head in bafflement, guilt pooling in his chest. "i don't want to break up with you, joong. i just want you to believe me when i tell you something."

the bed sinks down next to him where hongjoong hurries to sit, their knees touching slightly. wooyoung angles his head slightly, conscious of a piercing gaze.

"i just got jealous, i think." the older explains, and his fists tighten in their unaltered position. "and angry. i didn't mean all those things i said, really! i'm so sorry, wooyoung! when i start talking, i can't stop. and san... you know he doesn't like me. so seeing you together just made me even more insecure. but i shouldn't have argued or gotten mad without listening to what you had to say first! this is all my fault, and i know i'm a moron but i just like you a lot, and i've never had a good relationship so soon..."

wooyoung's heart softens as his boyfriend continues his apologetic rambles, understanding growing within him as hongjoong's explanatory web expands.

"please forgive me." he appears to finish, taking the younger's hands into his own. "i'd die if you didn't."

he processes the odd choice of words, a moment passing before they reverberate through him and realization strikes a chord in his guilty heart.

"why?" the question is almost a whisper, as if wooyoung is scared to ask. or scared to hear the answer.

hongjoong doesn't answer immediately, seeming taken aback. his hands go limp on top of the blonde's, so wooyoung grabs them instead, his fingers grazing the engraved skin of his left forearm lightly.

"it's okay, and i forgive you." he tells him, heart beating very quickly. "but why would you put it like that? why would you 'die'?" this could fix things. this could really, really fix things.