Happy Families

Introduction for Fools

  I sat perched on a stool in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal and yoghurt. Because having cereal and milk is too mainstream. I was wearing blue skinny jeans and a dark top with a tiger on the front that was slightly tinged green. I know, it sounds weird but you must see it properly to be able to see how amazing it is.

  Now, my really dark brown hair goes just past my shoulders with bright red streaks in it because I like the colour red. I have a side fringe or bangs or whatever the hell you want to call it but long story short I have one of those that I push to the left side to keep it out of my eyes. My shoulders were bare and my hair occasionally tickled as I continued to enjoy breakfast at 8 o’clock in the morning. I hated waking up early.

  Then in walked one of the other ‘delinquents’ of the house. This guy was probably the cockiest of the bunch.

  “Llamabitch, are you always the first one up?” He asked with a wicked grin.

  “My name is not Llamabitch you constipated Asshole!” I screamed back. My name is not Llamabitch. My name is Erin. My nickname is Knifey because I tend to carry a knife with me wherever I go. But my most hated nickname is Llamabitch.

  The guy who called me that, well his name is Cameron. His nickname is Psycho because of his very psychotic behaviour. Trust me, we tried to send him to an asylum but they just sent him back because he was too mental. His most hated nickname however is Asshole because it refers to him doing anal and it’s pretty fun to tease him about it.

  “But Llamabitch is such a better name for you since you’re a Llama’s bitch.” He replied innocently. I glared at him.

  He had red and black hair-which he died completely unlike me who has natural dark brown hair- that falls to cover his eyes slightly. He has a trade mark smirk that I would love to punch off of that annoying face of his. And today he wore some dark jeans with a few rips here and there, his favourite band’s t-shirt (I can never understand what the t-shirt says and he never tells us anything) and a black hoodie. He is such a try-hard moron.

  Then in walked another guy who looks similar to Cameron a lot actually. This guy however has light brown/dark blonde hair that is actually natural and he is a little bit taller than Cameron. His name is Ansel. Cameron and Ansel happen to be half brothers.

  “Shut up Asshole, it’s not her fault her parents were nuts for Llamas.” He stood up for me.

  Ansel wore jeans and a band’s t-shirt (I couldn’t read this one either) as well but he didn’t look like a try-hard so much. His nickname is Rocky because he tends to be a bit rocky with his personality and the like. His most hated nickname is Pantie Sniffer because others think he perves over girls too much, honestly I have never caught him doing it but if he is annoying me I’ll use it.

  “No they weren’t, her ancestors were, duh. How else would that name run in the family?” A girl around my age walked in and told the guys what she thinks.

  She looks a little bit like me with the dark brown hair except hers is lighter. She wore jeans and a band’s t-shirt just like the guys but she also wore a trendy black and white hoodie. Her name is Faye. Her nickname is Killer because she kills so many Sims on The Sims games. I’m serious, I once trusted her to watch over one of mine and next thing I know they were dead with the Grim Reaper around.

  Her most hated nickname is Fifi because well, let’s face it, whenever you hear that name you picture a fluffy poodle or a kind of dog that makes you want to run away screaming ‘RAT!’

  We all glared at each other for a bit before I shrugged and went back to munching on my cereal and yoghurt. Faye went and grabbed some toast out of the toaster and the two guys grabbed some pop-tarts that were flavoured to taste like chocolate. They taste weird in my opinion.

  Everything was how it was as per usual: quiet with everybody minding their own business. Until of course the final member of this household ran in panting.

  “I didn’t do it I swear!” He wore similar things to the others and he had shaggy black hair.

  His name is Lucas. His nickname is Shocky because whenever he tries to fix electrical things he gets himself and others shocked so they get me to do it instead. His most hated nickname was Fuckingham.

  Now he had the exact same mishap that I had: we both said our last names weird so the others misinterpreted it and had so much fun with what we had said.

  We all looked at each other, wondering what the hell we were going to do this time.