The Soldier's Luna (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Chapter 19

For three days, Bucky and I avoided each other. I focused my time on training with Steve, Natasha, and even Tony. Once and awhile, Clint would teach me how to shoot with a bow and arrow. I enjoyed training because I was able to focus and improve my skills instead of sulking around over Bucky.

When it came to dinner time, Bucky avoided it. Steve said Bucky would grab a plate for himself to eat upstairs. There were times Steve asked me to talk to Bucky, but I didn't want to. I didn't feel the need to talk to him nor want to talk to him. I understood I was acting childish about the situation, but so was he. Also, if I'm being honest with myself, he should be the mature one given that he was technically older than me.

I pretended I was fine, but I was lying to myself. I'd catch myself trying to use my empath ability to feel his emotions, but I stop myself from doing so. I needed to shut myself out from him even though I didn't want to.

Truth be told, I missed talking to him the most. I missed his charming smile, the way his eyes glowed when he was truly happy, and the sound of his shy laugh. Bucky found a way into my heart and I missed the feeling of him being around. I just couldn't accept the fact he didn't want to open up to me.

My nights were restless. My nightmares were coming in more frequently—memories of my torture or my missions with the Winter Soldier. I'd have nights dreaming of the Winter Soldier without me in them. It was strange because with those dreams, it was like I was viewing it in the Winter Soldier's perspective.

On rare nights, I dreamt of Bucky and I kissing like at the party. One night, I had one with so much more passionate and steamier I woke up fluster beyond comprehension. It also gave me the need to take a cold shower—a very cold shower. I wasn't sure if it was my dream or Bucky's. That following morning, Bucky and I ran into each other. He looked embarrassed and quickly walked to his room, so I had a feeling the dream wasn't mine. Then again, I wasn't entirely sure. So, I made sure my power wasn't being subconsciously used. Even when I tried to keep my power under control, there was one night I seemed to have no control over my power.

Just like the past few dreams, I was viewing everything in the Winter Soldier's perspective. It was so vivid that I could actually feel everything as if I was truly in the moment. When the fighting started, I could feel the gun in my hand, feel my fists colliding against the enemy's body. It scared me when I saw the metal arm squeeze onto the enemy's throat.

The dream transitioned to another time in Siberia. I was being tortured by the Winter Soldier, but again, I was in his perspective. Feeling myself claw against the metal arm as my dream self tried to break his hold so she wouldn't be dunked into the ice water again. Hearing myself beg for mercy through his ears and how he didn't give a damn and ignore the begging. He pushed her into the cold water again as he grasped tightly to her hair with his metal hand. It was terrifying to see myself in the water. I tried take control of the Winter Soldier's body so I could save myself, but it was useless. Finally, she was hauled out of the water, coughing and spitting out water. The moment my dream self looked at him, my dream self got a hard punch in the gut followed by a backhand that made her fall to the ground. I swear, I felt the ribs of my dream self become fractured through that punch.

The fear in my dream self's face was haunting and full of fear and angst was so visible on her face. The bionic arm twisted back making that gruesome bionic noise as the heavy footsteps approached her. She pressed herself against the wall, curled in a ball, and began to cry, but it was no use. The Winter Soldier was given orders and he had to follow them. I felt the left arm pull back with a fist at the ready.

I sat up, covering my mouth to hold back my scream. I ran my fingers through my hair as I took in deep long breaths. My hands shook with anxiety as I tried to keep calming myself down, but I couldn't. Something was happening. I had anxiety from the dream, but something was wrong. It wasn't just my feelings, but someone else's.