Finding My Safe Space

Chapter 7

"Hi, am I late?" Florence voice echoed, ngayon lang yata ako makakapagpasalamat sa presence niya. It's a good distraction because it seems like nalipat na nga sa kanya 'yong atensyon ng boyfriend niya or whatever, eww.

JJ began discussing to them the dates for meetings and rehearsal, nakikinig nalang ako because I have nothing to do naman. After discussing ay nalipat naman sa akin 'yong tingin ni JJ, it's like he want to ask something.

"Why?" I asked because he seems hesitating.

"About the program..."

Oh, I think I know what it is now. "I know it's too much already but I still want to try my luck. Can you uhm, perform for them?" He smiled shyly.

Even though I'm already kind of expecting this question ay medyo mahirap pa rin palang sagutin. I already made up of my mind about this pero bakit ang hirap tumanggi ngayon? Now that the three of them are looking at me, waiting for my answer.

"Please?" Florence said, smiling. "We can perform together sana kaso I'll be performing with Cyd. Sayang, but I can have two performance naman. Right, JJ?" dagdag pa niya.

"Sssshhh. Huwag natin siyang pangunahan, okay?" JJ answered and I suddenly want to say 'thank you' and hug him.

"I'll perform with her," and the jerk spoke beside me. What the hell? Me? I'm going to perform with him?

"No, I won't perform with you!" I blurted out but I almost covered my mouth when I realized that JJ is with us. Gosh! "I mean...you will perform with Florence na kasi, diba? So I'm just going to perform alone." I tried to make bawi but when I realized what I just said ay parang gusto ko ng sabunutan ang sarili ko.

"Really? Pumapayag ka ng magperform?" JJ smiled widely at pinagsalikop pa ang dalawang kamay. "I am sure matutuwa talaga sila!" he even added.

Now, I really don't know what to do. I was going to say "NO" but how can I say that? Ngayong ngiti na ngiti siya?

Anyway, hindi naman sinabi na need kong magplay ng piano talaga. So maybe I can just sing a song, dance, or anything. Wala namang sinabing specific.

Nag-aalangan akong tumango. I really want to perform, at kung wala lang 'tong problema ko I would've said 'yes' in a second. How I wish everything is fine, that my hands are fine.

"Okay." I said.

Gosh, what have I done? Bahala na 'yan, I just hope I won't regret my decision.

JJ was so happy after that, and he immediately talked about the revised flow of the program.

"Tanya will perform after the opening remarks, Rhys will go after her..." He continued discussing. I don't know that 'Tanya' but I think I know 'Rhys' because of my block-mates. The program was just short and sa huling part ako magpeperform, according to JJ.

"I will perform with her." The jerk pointed me after JJ dicussed the flow.

Ghad! What's with him? Even Florence raised her brow! Is he trying to make fun of me again? Or is he trying to sabotage my performance? He's worst kung gano'n!

"I won't, I'll perform alone." I insisted, almost glaring at him.

Ano bang nagawa ko kay Crispin? Bakit siya ganito? Noon pa ako nagtataka. Like why! What the fuck did I do to him for him to mess with me like this? I'm getting sick of this shit again!

When would he freaking stop pestering me? I badly want to shout now at ipagtabuyan siya rito, but I know I can't do it. I am not a scandalous woman.

"Sorry, I suddenly don't feel well. My head hurts, I think I need to go home and rest na. I'll just catch up with you next time, send me updates nalang. Thank you." diretso kong sabi at tumayo na para makaalis bago pa sila makapagreact.