Finding My Safe Space

Chapter 19

Everyone was shocked. Halos manghina naman ang tuhod ko no'ng maalala kong may media nga pala at panigurado'y talk of the town talaga ang mga sinabi niya sa mga susunod na araw.

Hindi kaya baka mapahamak siya? I heard kasi dati na parang bawal 'yong ginawa pero I don't know, baka naman hindi rin o 'di kaya ay hindi 'yon applicable sa lahat. But he's still new to the industry. I hope it won't affect his career.

I sighed. I need to get out of here. If people see me ay baka madugtungan pa ang balita. He's been through a lot, too, and I just recently realized it. He needs to take a break from all these, too. Simula pa no'ng dati rumor and all.

"Tara na." I said to JJ.

I was about to walk away no'ng mahanap ng mga mata niya ang mga mata ko. I want to look away but my eyes seemed glued to his. He looked at me like I am the only person he could see as of the moment.

I smiled.

It's like he's the only person I could see, too. But I need to go now, there's still a lot of time for us and that's definitely not here in front of people and cameras. I want to talk and spend time with him in private.

However, I didn't see him days after that. As expected, that interview immediately became the talk of town and according to tita ninang he got so busy because of interviews and his shoots. Pero despite that, he constantly sent messages to me pa rin naman, I reply to him pero it's still different for me if I talk to him in person.

He's always the one waiting and now, I guess it's my turn.

However, regarding what happened during that day, his interview was not the only thing that went viral.

"Ma'am, may mga media po sa labas. Nais raw po kayong mainterview tungkol sa nangyari no'ng nakaraang araw."

I sighed. Unfortunately, what I confessed that day also went out of the internet. And they were surprised, too.

"Wala naman na po silang dapat na malaman pa. I already said everything that day."

It's not because I am afraid to get interviewed, in fact, I am not scared about it that much anymore. For the past days, I realized na magaan pala talaga sa pakiramdam kapag wala kang tinatago.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I am wearing a corporate attire now dahil may presentation kami sa school. Another reason kung bakit hindi ko pwedeng paunlakan ang interview ngayon ay dahil papasok pa ako at hindi ako pwedeng mahuli sa klase.

"Ma'am nasa baba na po 'yong sasakyan."

I smiled and nodded. Dumaan muna ako sa kwarto ni mommy para i-check siya at magpaalam bago umalis.

When I opened the door ay agad siyang napatingin sa akin. It made me smile dahil hindi na siya katulad ng nakaraang buwan na halos walang reflexes at nakatulala lang sa kawalan.

"Papasok na po ako, mom." I kissed her cheek.

It was another traffic ride at muntik na akong mahuli sa klase. Buti nalang ay nakasiksik ako sa elevator. Minsan I am thankful that I am small because of reasons like that.

Lara and her group mates were the first who presented. She's freely hating me for the fast few days and even called me pathetic too because of what happened to my hands. Totoo nga talaga ang sabi na may mga taong ikakatuwa ang kapahamakan ng ibang tao, because she's obviously so happy regarding to what happened to me. But that won't affect me anymore now, because I've already learned my lessons.

As of the moments, instead of focusing to toxic stuffs, I should just focus myself to the things that I need to do in order to live a better. I'll continue to become strong and I will no longer be afraid to show emotions, because there's nothing holding me back anymore, at isa sa mga bagay na natutunan ko ay ang pahalagahan ang mga bagay na mayroon ka dahil kapag ito ay mawala ay baka magsisi ka.