Finding My Safe Space

Chapter 13

It's already midnight when I woke up inside my room that day when he took me home, nakatulog pala ako sa sasakyan habang umiiyak. Crispin kept on coming to our house since that happened and every time he did ay wala akong choice kundi ang maupo sa harap niya at makinig sa kung anong mga nonsense na sinasabi niya. Tinitiis ko nalang because it's better than staring at nothing and getting drowned on my thoughts again.

Mom was still the same, she still won't talk and every time we ask her to eat or take a bath ay bigla nalang siyang nagbibreakdown. Every time I witness that ay hindi ko maiwasang mawalan ng pag-asa.

Will everything be fine? Will my mom go back to normal? Is healing possible to us? Will we survive this?

As usual, those are the questions that kept on popping inside of my head.

I don't know. I just feel like habang tumatagal ay mas lalong lumalala ang lahat at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. I couldn't eat and sleep well. No matter how hard I try to make myself function just like the normal, I just couldn't do it at all.

Also, I feel like our company is losing more but the just won't inform me for now because they're worried that I couldn't take it. But then, I still want to know. They should at least give me what I should anticipate.

And that is why I am here. Kumatok ako ng tatlong beses sa pinto. Tito's secretary immediately opened it for me.

"Ranielle, your aunt told me that you wanted to talk to me. Why is that? Kumusta mommy mo?" Tito immediately talked pagkaupo ko sa tapat niya.

"She's still not fine, tito." I pursed my lips and sighed. "I am here to ask about the company's situation, tito. I think it's time for me to know the status." I tried to sound mature.

"Ry." Tito removed his eyeglasses and massaged his temples. "Are you sure about this? I was actually going to handle it until it stabilized a bit and I don't think it's good that you'd stress yourself out because of this, especially now that your mom..." he stopped but I know already what he's going to say.

He's right. I should be at home and I should take care of mom. But then, they had no idea on how I feel every time I see my mom breaking down. Yes, I want to take care of her, pero sa tuwing nakikita ko siya ay nawawalan ako ng pag-asa. I feel like I'm also going to be like her, pakiramdam ko mawawala na rin ako sa sarili ko.

I clenched my fist.

No, Ranielle. You shouldn't fall. You're the only person that your mom have. You should be strong to survive for yourself and for the people you love.

"It's okay, tito. I just want to know the truth." I firmly said. "Dahil hindi po ako mapanatag sa dami ng tanong na nasa isip ko."

"Are you really sure about this? You're a business major, so I know you'd immediately know what to expect once I tell you the what's happening now."

I bravely nodded.

"Before your father died, he invested to a huge company abroad. You know your father, Ranielle. He's a good businessman but he's also impulsive sometimes. That investment failed and it turned out that he was fooled by someone close to him, but he won't say who. Your mom got mad when she learned about that. That was already a huge loss to the company but still, they tried to make up for it by getting more investments coming to the company. Everything was going fine again before your birthday..." I shifted on my seat when tito mentioned my birthday, tito also stopped, felt like he realized that he shouldn't go there.

It's okay but it's just that I am not yet ready to here what happened that night again. Not now.

"But there seems to be someone playing with them, some of their investment failed again and I just found it out after the funeral. Looked like someone took advantage of the time when all of us were grieving. There's a snake in the company, Ry. And that's what I would find out."