Finding My Safe Space

Chapter 14

Trigger warning: suicide, self-harm

Hindi ako makatulog that night because I kept on regressing what happened before I went to bed.

There's still no improvement with the company. My crush confessed to me. The idiot messed with my mind. And lastly, my body was reacting strangely these past few days when I'm around that devil.

I sighed. Maybe that's because I'm vulnerable and he's so persistent in acting as a distraction to me.

It must be just that! Because no, there's no way in hell that I'd like him. First of all, he's so far from the ideal. And he's still a bully despite of what he told me that night.

We have no classes the next day kaya sa opisina naman ang punta ko. I wore a black formal dress partnered with sunglasses dahil malaki ang eyebags ko kakapuyat.

I went to my mom's room before leaving. It has became my routine to check on her before going out.

I turned the doorknob but it's locked. I knocked on the door but no one's answering.

"Yaya!" I yelled.

Yaya Nelia and Sely came rushing. Agad naman akong kinabahan no'ng makitang magkasama silang dalawa. Because that means mom is alone inside and the door is locked!

"Bakit po locked? Did you lock the door when you left?" I asked them but they both shook their head.

"Kaaalis ko lang po sa loob, Ma'am." Sely said and I immediately panicked.

"Bring the spare keys!" Natataranta kong sabi, pareho naman silang umalis at tinawag 'yong iba naming kasama sa bahay.

I tried opening the door but it's really locked. Suddenly, I remembered that mom gave me a spare key at nilagay ko 'yon sa wallet ko. I immediately got it from my bag and used it to open the door.

When the door swung open, hindi ko inaasahan ang sasalubong sa akin.

Blood.

There's so much blood on the floor.

And...there's my mom lying on it.

My whole body suddenly felt weak. Tila napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko. My hands and legs started shaking and I suddenly felt out of breathe. My vision started to blur as everything came rushing into my mind.

Iiwan niya rin ba ako?

No, she's still alive! She's not dead! She can't be dead!

"Ma'am!" Their screams are the last thing I remembered before everything turned black.

My head hurts. I opened my eyes and held my head. I am inside my room, I realized that after looking around.

"Sweetie, how do you feel?" My mom entered the room.

Agad akong napatayo at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.

"I'm right, you didn't do that, right?" I smiled and held her wrist.

"Do what?" she asked like she's confused.

I shook my head. "Wala po. At least you're here now. At least you're okay." I smiled at her and hugged her tighter.

"You won't leave me, right?" I asked.

She smiled and gave me a pat on the head.

Suddenly, her face became hazy so I panicked.

"Mom? What's happening?" I held her hand tighter because I feel like she's going away.

"I'm sorry." she mouthed and in the blink of an eye, she disappeared in front of me.