Finding My Safe Space

Chapter 10

Napahawak ako sa labi ako. What the fuck did he just do?

Buong lakas ko siyang tinulak. "Eww! Go away! You pervert! Ang bastos bastos mo!" I angrily shouted bago umahon. "Don't fucking show me your face here again!"

I angrily marched back to my room at sa sobrang inis ay pinangsusuntok ko 'yong mga teddy bears ko. Nakakainis! Sobrang nakakainis! How dare he? Ang kapal kapal ng face niya!

First kiss ko 'yon! But there's no way in hell na aaminin ko 'yon! Argh! I could still feel his wet lips on mine, nakakadiri! Eww!

I tried so hard to push that memory away from my mind kahit na halos minuminuto yata ay nagfaflash siya sa isip ko. At sa tuwing pipikit ako at matutulog ay parang binabangungot ako at magigising nalang na 'yon ang nasa isip ko. Eww.

"Are you okay?" Lara asked me and I just slowly gave her a nod.

"Yeah, I am just exhausted," I answered before sighing.

"Oo nga, the day after tomorrow is your birthday na! I'm so excited!" she excitedly said before sitting beside me. "I have my gown na from mommy's designer." She continued talking but my mind is on another thing nanaman. Argh! I hate myself, two days already passed na pero nasa isip ko pa rin 'yon!

Nakakainis talaga 'yong jerk na 'yon! Kadiri pa!

"Are you okay? Nakikinig ka ba?" I lazily nodded, urging her to just continue talking.

"Oo nga pala, bakit hindi sa Diamond hotel 'yong venue?" I sighed, I don't need to explain this one but...

"Well, we just want something new." I still need to say something, I know.

Lara just nodded and continued talking just like what I wanted to happen.

I immediately went home when the classes ended, hoping that I would see my parents but as usual, wala nanaman sila.

Nakapangalumbaba akong umupo sa tapat ng vanity mirror ko, trying to feel happy while doing my nighttime skincare routine. But I know I can't be happy, especially now that I am not sure kung makakapunta ba sila sa birthday ko.

Sana umuwi na sila. Miss ko na sila, sobra. At sobra-sobra narin akong nag-aalala.

I slept with a heavy heart that night at gano'n din ang nangyari no'ng sumunod na araw dahil hindi pa rin nagpakita sa akin ang parents ko. I was so down when I woke up during the day of my birthday, I tried calling mom and dad pero hindi pa rin sila sumasagot. Pakiramdam ko nga hindi nila nareread messages ko and that made me so sad.

"Smile darling," the make-up artist said habang inaayusan ako at kahit labag sa loob ko, I did what she told me to do.

After kong ayusan, they assisted me in wearing my gown. It's a gown that I personally picked dahil gustong-gusto ko 'yong design. A beautiful and elegant blue lace tulle ball gown made personally by one of the most popular designer in the world of pageantry.

But this gown is not what I am asking for, I need my parents, I need them today here with me in order for me to be truly happy with all of these. The party, this gown, are all meaningless without them.

I want to try calling them again pero ilang minuto na lamang ay bababa na ako sa hall.

The organizers motioned me to get ready, when I went out of the hotel room I was immediately greeted by lots of cameras. Flashes there and everywhere, kung hindi lang ako sanay ay baka nagpanic na rin ako.

The door of the ballroom opened and as expected, everything is beautiful. Kung sana ay...

My eyes watered because I saw the two most precious person in my life standing in the middle of the ballroom.