Typical

37

Aurora

   Everyone on earth goes through the same emotions whether they want to admit to it or not, it's human nature. Some feel these emotions to an extreme and others not so much, and yes there are people out there who don't feel emotions at all, but it's not their fault, it's their brains. Me? I think I feel emotions as one should, a normal amount of anger or sadness. I think it's normal to get hurt if someone lies, I think it's normal to get angry and lash out to a certain extent, and I think it's completely normal to take as much time as you need to forgive someone for crossing you. I also think it's normal to forgive someone right away after they've done something to hurt you with or without knowing the consequences. 

   Everyone is different and everyone processes things differently so who am I to judge someone for never forgiving someone as a person who always forgives. Well thats not entirely true...I'll never forgive Alec for what he put me through and as fucked up as it sounds I'll never forgive my dad for leaving me and my mom. I know, I know...It wasn't his fault, it's not like he chose to leave, it's not like he killed himself....He was murdered, I get it, but he still left and It still hurts thinking about how he'll never see me grow, he hasn't seen me grow...I was 13 when he died and now I'm about to be a junior in college and thats a growth process he should have witnessed next to my mom and family. 

   My spiritual beliefs do include the thought process that my father is watching me, he is here, but it's not the same. It's not the same knowing I'll never get to hug him again, or I'll never get to hear his voice or watch how his face turns red when he laughs. I'll never get to see the smile on his face when he'd take my mom in the middle of the living room and dance with her and I don't think I'll ever get to see the sparkle that was once in my moms eyes when she looked at my dad. Him watching over me doesn't make up for the loss of all of that, as much as it sucks to say. I don't want to sound ungrateful, I still have my mom and we lived a pretty comfortable life, but not as comfortable as we would have been if that ambulance got my dad to the hospital a little bit faster. 

   Arms pulled me back and when I looked at Axels face he was panicked as he wrapped a towel around my hands. I furrowed my brows at him and he clenched his jaw, "What were you thinking?" I tilted my head at him and the pain in my hands stared to set in. "Aurora, what were you thinking?" I winced and he loosened his pressure around my hands. "I-, What did I do?" His brows knit together and he edged his chin towards the sink, there was broken glass all over the counter and my blood drops around them. "What's going on princess?" I frowned and looked down, "I don't know, I was just thinking about my dad" He sighed and kissed my forehead, "I need to take the glass out okay?" I nodded and he walked me to our bathroom.

   He lifted me on the counter and got between my legs carefully unwrapping the towel from my hands. He tossed the towel in the sink then grabbed tweezers and lifted my hand close to the mirror light. As he pulled little pieces of glass out I watched and winced at the pain, "I know baby, I'm almost done" I nodded as he pulled the last two pieces out, then poured hydrogen peroxide on a clean towel and dabbed the little gashes. He repeated the process to my other hand then lightly wrapped them. "Thank you" I whispered out and he frowned at me, he pulled me into his chest and held me and silent tears left my eyes. "You want to visit your mom tomorrow?". I nodded and he held me tighter. "Let's get you to bed".

   He took my thighs and lifted me off the counter as I tighten my arms around his neck and he walked me to the bed gently setting me down. "You want Tylenol or anything?" I shook my head and as he helped me under the blanket and he kissed my forehead before getting on his side of the bed. "You know you can talk to me right? I'm never going to judge you for how you feel and I hope you don't think I'd ever do that" I sat up and turned to him. "I know I can talk to you, and no I'd never think that about you, but the thoughts I get...It's not something you'd understand" He slowly nods and sighs taking my hand lightly, "I love you" I smiled and leaned into him planting a kiss on his cheek, "I love you too".