𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐤𝐲: 𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬

Dreams pt.5

//Wattpad stuffs of past//

So i trusted a few people here named Chitrita, Ansh, Navya di and Alisha. We were quite good friends. And i used to talk with em. They were pretty nice ppl. Even tho it was virtual, we all were pretty happy together XD

Out of all the ppl i ever ranted to here about my crush urjo and those misunderstanding, Alisha was the most different. When i told her about all that, she told me not to tell others about it more rn. Idky. She followed me initially 2 weeks later from that incident and she was quite always interested to talk with me even when i wasn't much famed here neither i was talking to ppl much back then. Even many days and weeks later too, she remembered that she was my 62nd follower and followed me on 21st February, 2020. Idky she kept these details rememered even when we weren't friends. I was very very shy earlier even on wattpad. And was already heartbroken with my crush so i was usually very low and weird. But i had always had this feeling that one day maybe my crush will cool down and give me a chance to clear misunderstanding XD

I don't have much strength to write all this again so I'll just copy paste from my personal autobiographical notes. It's in hindi so sorry if u don't understand hindi :")

Below part is copied from my notes:

Wattpad me poems likhna band ho gaya tha woh urjo se misunderstanding hone ke baad mera. Aur dimag bhi sahi se kaam nahi karta tha. Usi bich woh Animesh sir bhi boht demotivate karte the. Waha par dusre studs pehle se padhte the aur main late join kiya tha tutions as i was earlier in Altitude jo chorna para tha kyuki ppl used to ragg and bully there and shit the teachers didn't listen to complains and they used to smoke in class -_- doubts tha boht saara lekin woh sahi se sab solve help nahi karte the aur had se jyada exam ke upar exam lete rehte the. Aur kam marks aane par Animesh sir boht insult bhi kiya tha mera sabke saamne boht bure tarike se. Aise log jo khud studs ki madad karne ke bajaye unse jabardasti exam lekar insult karte hain, yeh toh teacher ke naam pe kalank hote hain. Waha jaane se kaafi stress bad gaya tha mera isiliye. Ek toh mera doubts sahi se solve nhi ho pata tha upar se woh sab sunna padta tha usse koi bhi student ka morale down hi hota hain. Lekin phir bhi mummi ne mmujhe jabardasti waha bheja tha "Waha nahi jayga toh ghar me bhi nahi rehna hoga bahar nikal jao" aise. Ek toh heartbreak tha hi upar se stress, bullying in school, upar se school me bhi kuch sahi se nahi karate the teachers, phir parents ka roj roj ka jhagra ghar me, kaafi dimag me asad parta tha isse. Shayd hi kuch padhai hua tha mera yeh sab ke wajah se. Boht kuch baaki tha aur ek bhi question paper solve nahi kiya tha isiliye. Mentally kaafi disturbed ho gaya tha yeh sab se.

Usi bich, wattpad me kabhi kabhi kuch random logo se baat hoti thi thodi bohot followers se. Ek class 9 ki bachhi thi waha Chitrita naam ki use bhi baat hoti thi. Woh ek matr aisi follower thi jo mere har poems ko ache se padhkar kaafi compliment diya karti thi har stanza me. Sabse jyada kisi ne usse jyada mujhe comment nahi kiya tha aj tak books me. Kafi acha lagta tha. Maine hi usse baat karna shuru kiya tha ek din Big Boss 13 ke Asim ka profile pic lagakar thi toh woh sab ke bare me baat hua tha. Behen jaisi thi kafi hasati thi woh aur main bhi boht hasata tha use. Woh Bhopal me rehti thi. Subhangi jo yaha ki hi hain, us ka account bhi ek din dikha waha aur pata chala usse kuch heart problems rehte the, she had holes in her heart, aur kaafi suicidal rehti thi toh main use sirf motivate aur help karne ke liye baat kiya karta tha. Us time kaafi akeli thi lekin mere thru, uski dosti Chitrita se kaafi ho gayi aur bhi kuch log. Wattpad par boht sare log mere wajah se kisi kisi se dosti kar paye the jud paye the us time. Kuch logo ne kaafi gratitude bhi show kiya tha mujhe yeh batakar ki unki isse usse mere account ke thru dosti hui thi. Unse baat kar ke thoda man behla rehta tha, dosti toh waisi nhi thi kisi se ache se but baat chit hota tha. Urjo se misunderstanding ke baad hamesha hi pata nahi kyu lagta tha ki yeh sab natak hain, aur woh mujhse waisa nafrat nahi karti lekin kuch karan se yeh sab ki thi. "Jab kisi ko shiddat se chahte hain, puri kainaat hume ustak pahuchne me lagjaati hain" yeh quote par kaafi wishwas tha mujhe, Pyaar toh kaafi shiddat se hi kiya tha maine, lekin phir bhi woh sab hua unexpectedly. Main wait karta tha ki shayd kisi din urjo ka gussa shant ho aur woh mere se baat kare aur apni galti samjh jaye aur mentality sahi ho jay. Uska pathhardil ko pighlana chahta tha, shayad kisi past issue ke wajah se use sab log galat lagte the isiliye main use wishwas dilana chahta tha ki sab log jhoote nahi hote hain. I waited for chance, i was determined that pyaar se logo ko badla jaa sakta hain. Man hi man lagta tha ki woh kisi ke thru ya secret account banakar mujhse baat karegi kisi din... Urjo se jo misunderstanding hui thi uske thik 2 week baad hi mujhe ek suspicious ladki ne follow kiya tha mera account waha. Uska username tha Alisha5821. Boht se log hi follow karte the mujhe, lekin yeh account thoda suspicious isiliye tha kyuki yeh pehli aisi ladki thi jo khud mujhe kaafi msg kiya karti thi starting se hi roj roj. Uska account bhi jyada purana nahi tha aur lagbhag same date create hua tha as same as mera date jab main wattpad account banaya wow. Mujhe laga koi aisi hi ladki hogi toh main usse jyada baat nahi karta tha lekin woh har din time time par mujhe msg karke mera haal chaal puchti thi aur kaafi jyada baat karne ko interested rehti thi sirf mere se hi. Uski Chitrita se bhi dosti thi aur maine sunah tha ki usne mera kuch acha comment padha tha kisi book me toh waha se hi Alisha ko mera account mila. Woh aise baat karti thi mujhse jaise boht salo se jaan pehchaan ho kaafi Frank thi aur funny bhi 🤣 usne apna naam Alisha bataya tha, country toh nahi batati thi lekin hindi me hi baat kiya karti thi mujhse jyadatar, lekin bengali bhi boht acha jaanti thi. Kafi funny lekin secretive thi jab main puchta tha tum kaha se ho, woh bolti thi " Top Secret 😜" usne bola South Asia ka hi koi desh hain, toh maine saare naam puch liye Pakistan, India, Nepal, Bhutan, Maldives, Thailand, Bangladesh, Indonesia lekin usne sab me hi naa bol diya isse kaafi confirm tha ki woh jhut bol rahi h aur most probably India ya Bangladesh ki hain. Kyuki uska hindi aur bengali dono both acha tha aur woh Kolkata ke baare me bhi jaanti hain aur pehle yaha ayi Hui hain toh chances tha ki Kolkata ki hi hain. Jaha dusre log mujhe urjo se move on karne bolte the, sirf Alisha hi aisi ek ladki thi jo mujhe bolti thi hope rakhne. Woh mujhe boht samjhti thi starting se hi, hamesha mujhe khus karne ke liye achi achi hopefull baate kiya karti thi. Din bhar tease kiya karti thi urjo se related aur mujhe upliftment deti thi mera ek maatr motivation us time sirf Alisha ke wajah se hi aata tha. Uske baare me toh jyada nahi jaanta tha lekin, pata nahi kyu humdono me kaafi acha banta tha pehle se hi aur kaafi apnapan feel hota tha uske saath starting se hi. Kabhi bhi sad or depressed akela pan rehta tha mujhe woh pagal mujhe chain se dukhi bhi nahi rehne deti thi hamesha sadness ko ek second me pata nahi kaise bhula deti thi 😅 aise toh apna age 14 Batati thi, mere se 4 saal ki choti thi, lekin baat chit se kaafi mature bhi lagti thi. Ek baar toh woh yeh bhi batayi thi ki woh bengali wala bachho ka toon Baltu The Great ya aisa hi kuch naa, woh abhi bhi dekhti hain maine bhi bola tha main Motu Patlu dekha hu us time boht dekhta tha yeh toon😂 Boht hi kam time me humdono pata nahi kaise boht ache friends ho gaye the.