Okay, you can stop panicking now... I didn't die. I didn't pass out. I was just being dramatic, keeping you on the edge of your seat.
I know, it's so unlike me... so unusual that EYE, Harriet Von Schnoppengord, would EVER even THINK of being dramatic...
But really I think I just said something along the lines of "well that doesn't sound very good" and Pia said "no, it doesn't" and then we went next door to the cafe to drink hot chocolate and forget about my impending death.
It wasn't very successful because it is currently all I can think about. I wonder how it will happen... car crash? aliens? a 4 gallon carton of milk falling from the sky onto my left pinky finger which will break into 5,628 pieces, one of which will fling up into my eye and scratch my cornea which will then get infected so I'll be too weak to do anything except wriggle around in my bed for days then weeks then years until eventually I choke on a Dorito crumb and DIE!
No, I don't actually think that will happen... but you never know.
"Want to come bowling? I do it every Tuesday."
"There's a bowling alley here?"
"Mmmm, not exactly..." what does that mean? "Come on."
She stands and I do the same, like a wannabe reflection in a backwards mirror. There must be some kind of magnet in that weird bag she carries around cause I can't help myself from following her... or maybe it's just because I have absolutely no idea where I am and would prefer not to be alone in this no-idea-where-I-am place.
"Okay, we're here." We had walked approximately 13 steps down an alley next to the cafe and stopped in front of a small rectangle of concrete.
"Do you even actually know what bowling is? Cause in my experience you kinda need something to bowl, and something to bowl with, and something to bowl on... and I don't actually see any of that stuff here." Pia scuttled over to a pile of discarded items leant against the wall of whatever building was in front of us and started shoving various things around. There was a VERY LOUD, veeeerrrrryyyyy looooonnnngggg melody of clanks and thuds before she dragged a faded red crate from the rubble.
"Something to bowl" she grinned like it was some sort of gold-plated treasure chest when really it was just an old collection of glass bottles. Then she rummaged around in her satchel and somehow pulled out a whole entire melon I hadn't noticed was in there.
"Something to bowl with..." she gestured to the ground "and something to bowl on!" She seemed very pleased with herself.
"... And you do this every Tuesday?"
"Uhuh."
"Interesting..." I went to help her line up the 'bowling pins' to have something to do other than stand there feeling like a bowling pin. We didn't quite have enough so the back line looked a bit empty, but its not like it really mattered that much considering we were throwing a literal melon.
"Right then, show me how it's done." She nodded and appeared to do some sort of calculation of some kinda angle, shuffling ever so slightly in the process, before rolling the melon along the ground and toppling 5 whole bottles to the floor.
"Hm, not bad... but I would've just knocked them all down." She held out the melon she had just chased down with a look of skepticism and intrigue. I grabbed it from her and chucked it as hard as I could...
Maybe a bit too hard...
Definitely a bit too hard...
ShmAmavHsSKasmnwkjsxnMHvsvSvghv was kind of what it sounded like as every single bottle smashed into millions of pieces like I'd imagined my hand doing just minutes ago.
"...oops."
"No, it's perfect." She had teleported and was inspecting the shards like they were rare gemstones. "These are the exact size I need!"
"For what?"
"I'm making a sculpture! It's not quite done yet but it's going to be really cool. Normally I get a few more rounds out before I break the bottles, but that's okay."
"Can I see it?"
"Sure! Let's go."
YOU ARE READING
Snakes Don't Bite Their Owners
Подростковая литератураHarriet von Schnoppengord is no stranger to high school drama and annoying parents. But when everybody starts turning against her, she decides it time to change things up. Now that this 'sophisticated' freshman is practically a grown-up, it's about...