Snakes Don't Bite Their Owners

Dead Flies

So I'm alone. in the middle of who knows where. with a stranger's backpack. and absolutely no idea how to get home. 

...and then it starts getting dark.

...and then it starts raining.

Is this whats karma feels like? Why do all the bad things have to happen all at once? If it was just raining and not dark I could dance about a bit without worrying about tripping over and breaking my ankle - then not being able to move for the rest of my very short life... and if it was just dark and not raining, then I might be able to see the stars and I could lie on the grass for a while without having to worry about melted ice pellets dripping from the sky.

Congratulations universe, you have officially made it onto my enemies list. 

But I will NOt let you StOP me. After all, I am Harriet von Schnoppengord... and you can't spell Harriet von Schnoppengord without go and on... You also can't spell it without Schno tho, so maybe I'm just not a summer person. 

After walking about 50 meters I decide to open my eyes and HURRUH the sun is back. The rain, however, is still very much not gone. In fact, I think its GROWING... breeding like rabbits in spring. Thankfully, not too far ahead I spot some kind of building. It seems small... but everything seems small from a distance. I run towards it.

I am now standing next to said building. It is not a building... it is a phone box. It still has a roof though, so I climb inside. 

Yenno, contrary to prior belief... there isn't actually a whole lot to do inside a phone box other than USe ThE phONe. The thing is... I am, at this moment, unable to do so. There are a number of reasons for this, which I will now list for you:

       1. You need money.

       2. I don't have money.

       2 and a half. Even if I did have money I wouldn't be able to call anyone because...

       3. I don't actually know any phone numbers because....

       3 and two quarters. They're all just saved to my phone, which I can't use because....

       4. I do not have my phone because...

       5. I do not have my bag because...

Well... you know the rest. 

...what you don't know is how I end up staring into the eyes of a cute boy carrying a soggy book and a packet of watermelon gum (I know it's watermelon gum cause that's my favourite gum... and the packet is bright green). Only I know how that happens. 

I guess I could tell you... 

Okay, I'll tell you.

Basically I was staring at wall. But wall is glass. And there was boy outside. 

Then his lips started moving but I couldn't hear anything cause I was standing inside a glass box and it was raining outside. 

Then I realised I was staring into the eyes of a cute boy and I quickly snapped my head around to face the other side to proceed to pretend I had never seen him. Except my head spun too fast. and in the wrong direction. and I ended up whacking it into the corner of the phone and... for the second time in a very short amount of days... I crumpled to the floor like an unwanted piece of paper.

"Um, are you okay? You kind just... crumpled to the floor like an unwanted piece of paper."

"Yes. I am fine."

"Okay, well I just came over to see if you needed help working the phone or something cause you've been standing in this box an awful long time just staring at it... well, sitting now... but you know what I mean."

"Oh, the phone. Yes. I came here to use the phone. Yes."

And then we stood in silence for a while and then I confessed my life story to this stranger and then we both got out of the phone box (which, by that point, had about one too many people inside of it) and walked into the convenience store that was literally right beside us... like not even two steps away and transformed ourselves into thieves.