Snakes Don't Bite Their Owners

Watercolour Remorse

"Harriet! Stop... wait."

I blocked out his desperate words and kept on running.

"Please. I'm sorry... just, let me talk to you."

I had absolutely no idea where I was going or when I would stop, but I gotta tell ya... an angry run is a whole other level of invigoration. It makes your legs feel like two electric egg beaters on full speed, and the air on your face and in your lungs... it's exhilarating.

...until it's totally completely not and the wobble comes back into your legs, then rushes up your whole entire body and ends up all over the gravel path and the flowers and the grass. Then it finds it's way into a bush, covering snail shells and filling up worm burrows with sloppy liquid.

"HARRIET!?!?"

I leaned over once more to regurgitate whatever was left inside of me and then gurgled some inaudible response. I looked up at him as he stood there wide-eyed and helpless. The dim streetlight illuminated the lines of regret on his forehead and a wave of guilt rushed through me.

"Hey, you're okay."

His voice was soft now and I felt him lunge towards me as I began to crumple to the ground like an unwanted piece of paper.

"Woah, hey. Hey." 

As he lowered me down, the waterworks started and I curled up like the tip of Stephanie's tongue when she sees chilli-nutella sausages.

I don't even know why I was crying... whether it was the humiliation or the anger or something else... but there I was, making an even bigger fool out of myself in front of the one person that matters.

"Look, Harriet... I'm really sorry. Please don't cry." (imagine the noise a baby would make if they had just pooped their pants, were really hungry and also hadn't slept in days... yeah, that's what I sounded like) "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have, uh... kissed her. I was just... well, I thought that... I don't know... I was being an idiot. It was a real jerk move, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Harriet."

There it is again... the guilt.

No. I shouldn't feel bad that my best friend totally just betrayed me. That he forced me to come along to some stupid party, just so he could hook up with my enemy right in front of my face. Who would do something like that?! It's just cruel. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him.

By this point, we were both sprawled out on the floor, just looking up at the sky and wondering how we got here.

"Jeez Harriet, what are we gonna do with you. "

After a while, I stopped crying... but lay there for a little while longer with my damp cheeks and wistful thoughts (probably half soaked in puke). And then my foggy mind remembered that I wasn't supposed to be lying in the middle of a park in the middle of nowhere... I wasn't even supposed to be at the party in the first place. 

"I've gotta go... My parents, I..."

"No way can you go home like that, Harriet."

"What's the big deal? They won't even see me... I'll just sneak inside and head straight to my room."

"Come on, you know you can't. It's too risky. Come to my house instead. I can get out the extra mattress? Or you can even have the bed if you want. I'll set an alarm early so you can sneak back into your place before..."

"Ew, No. Hey, just because I'm not yelling at you doesn't mean I'm not mad okay, so don't go around thinking everything's fine between us."

And then we walked back to our boring little houses in silence.