An Ackerman's secret

10

A few days passed and I recovered, but I still wasn't 100%. I had mostly stayed in my room and I didn't talk to any of the others, apart from those who occasionally visited me which was mainly Hange. There I was calling Eren a pussy when I don't even have the courage to face the other scouts. I asked Hange to make sure no one came in my room while I hid and thankfully they did.

Until now. Mikasa walked in and weakly smiled, holding some tea and biscuits on a tray. I sat up and nodded for her to take a seat. Mikasa was one of the only people who didn't look at me differently after hearing what my father said and I appreciated her greatly for it, along with Eren.

"I spoke to the others. They know what me and Eren did when we were kids and he helped me knock some sense into them." She handed me my tea. "They still love you, they just were a bit shocked and needed time to process it. Don't worry about them."

Her words comforted me, I had completely forgotten about what happened with Eren and Mikasa when they were young, but somehow it still didn't compare to what I did. I was older and knew what I was doing.

I'm not sure how many people I have killed, there was multiple occasions where we were attacked and I was willing to do anything to protect the love of my life. But even after he died, I still killed; I wanted to find his killer and I didn't care what I had to do to achieve my goal. I knew what I was getting myself into but it didn't faze me and as a result of that I'm now a different person. Nevertheless, I don't regret any of it, I did it all for our future and even if we didn't achieve a good one, I would do it all over again if it meant that I was with him.

"Thank you Mikasa, it means a lot." I gripped the tea in my hands, feeling the heat slightly burn me.

The door swung open again and in the doorway stood Levi who motioned for Mikasa to leave. She gave my hand a squeeze before leaving and Levi took her seat with his own cup of tea. He crossed his legs, taking a sip.

"Capt-"

"Call me Levi." He interrupted me. I hesitated, confused, maybe it was because I'm now his vice captain but calling him by his name was unusual to me, considering how unfriendly we are.

"I will continue to call you Captain until you call me Mila and not Ivory." I protested with a grin on my face which he responded to by clicking his tongue in annoyance.

I haven't seen Levi in a few days, I planned on bringing him tea every morning as a part of my job as his assistant but my injury delayed that. For some reason my nerves around him had faded a little bit, or well, changed. I was still a bit nervous around him, but I was weirdly happy to see him and I could feel a fluttery feeling in my stomach that only disappeared when he did.

I'm awful at acknowledging my feelings, so I wasn't too sure what this meant but it was a kind of nice feeling? Now that I'm thinking about it, I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks and I hoped Levi didn't notice.

What is happening to me?

Getting nervous around people isn't something that I'm used to, therefore I don't know how to control it and I'm sure Levi can tell. I resisted eye contact with him because it didn't help whatsoever, but I took the time to examine him as he took another sip of his tea. His hair fell in front of his face perfectly but not too much to the point where it covered his eyes and bothered him. His eyes were pale and dull, they didn't show any glimmer in them at all, just..grey. There was a hint of blue though that you could only see if you looked closely, which I always did every time I met them with my own eyes.

I noticed Levi was now staring directly at me. I cleared my throat and turned my head away from him, hoping that he didn't catch me gazing right at him.