An Ackerman's secret

38

I stood next to Mikasa and Jean while they held Annie back, who was distraught and for the first time that I've seen, actually upset about something.

"We decided with Magath that we'd go to Odiha. Rather, it was the only choice left." Hange explained to her. "There was no way to save your hometown, Liberio."

She dropped to all fours, her face wrenched, "Then.. I don't have any reason to keep fighting. I'm getting off."

"Even if the rumbling stopped this very moment, we wouldn't be able to stop Liberio and Marley from being annihilated."

"Even Magath understood that. But he still put his life on the line to clear a path for us. He didn't do it for the sake of Liberio or Marley. He did it so we could save even one more life of a stranger whose name he'll never know."

Annie lifted her head as Mikasa crouched down next to her, "Then let me ask you again. Could you kill Eren?"

My chest tightened at the thought of it.

"If I tried to kill Eren, would you be able to sit back and watch?" Tears filled Annie's eyes. "I don't want for us to try to kill each other again. Not with any of you.. Not even with Eren."

I looked down, realising I didn't want to fight either. I just wanted everything to be over.

-

I stood outside of Levi's room, getting ready to bring him his tea since he seemingly was beginning to perk up a bit finally.

"Mila." Hange's voice came from behind me.

I turned to them, "Hange, you okay?"

They nodded, but I could tell something was bothering them.

"Sorry." They awkwardly laughed. "I don't even know what I'm here for."

"What's wrong? Is it Moblit?" I questioned.

"No, we're great-"

I raised my eyebrows, "We're?"

They slapped their face with their hand, "That just slipped out."

"Seriously though, talk to me." I placed the tea down and stood close to them, hoping that they will open up to me.

They sighed, their face dropping. "It really is nothing. I'm just-" They hesitated. "I'm stressed."

I drew my eyebrows together, "Stressed?"

"Since Erwin made me commander. I haven't been able to relax." Hange admitted.

Normally I could read people well, and I knew that they had lashed out every now and then, but I never knew they had been struggling that much.

"I don't know what to do. The pressure is slowly drowning me." As soon as they started, they carried on and didn't stop while I stood patiently listening.

"It's suffocating. I- I don't know if I can do it."

I smiled and shook my head, "That's one thing I can speak on." I held out my hand to interlock it with theirs. "You can. I know you can. If anyone can do it, it's you."

"Don't feel bad for feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it's normal."

They nodded, "I know. I just don't want to let anyone down."

"You're not." I reassured them. "Who knows what we would do without you."

Hange met my eyes, the smile returning to their face. "You're meant to be like my little sister who I give advice to, not the other way around." They rolled their eyes.