All Too Well | JM

t h i r t y - s i x

Chapter- I can't love you in the dark
Hayley's Pov-
Recap-
"Is-is she- is she telling the truth? Please JJ tell me- tell me she isn't, tell me she's lying. Please. Please tell me this isn't true, please tell me you don't know her and that you didn't have sex. Please." My voice cracked as tears began to pour out my eyes as I watched the blonde boy with a distressed expression on his face stammer over his words.

"Hayley, Hayley I'm sorry. Hayley!" It felt as if my heart broke then and there, "and did you guys know?" The whole group ducked there heads in shame as tears fell down there own cheeks.

That was all I had to hear before turning around and walking away, the sound of his on my trail alerted me making me legs move faster.

"HAYLEY PLEASE." JJ cried out while grabbing my wrist and tugging me into him.

Present-

"Hayley please I love you, don't leave me." Tears fell down his own cheeks as he stared at me with regret, but all I could think about was his betrayal.

"Don't- don't fucking touch me JJ. I swear to god don't fucking touch me." I cried out shoving his hands off of my body like venom, he took a step back as if my words had burned him.

"Hayley- when. When did it happen? How long ago?" I couldn't help myself but ask not knowing how much I would of regretted it at that moment of time.

"Hayley please- tell me." A drop of rain touched my skin making me shiver but my eyes never left his as my chest burned feeling as if someone was ripping it out.

"The night you woke up. But I didn't know when you were going to wake up, if you were ever going to wake up. I thought you was going to die and-and it was fucking with my mind and so I wanted to get drunk. She was there, she flirted we danced, and then she kissed me and-and I should've pulled away. I know I should of but I didn't and I have regretted that moment ever since and when I saw you all I wanted to do was go back in time and stop it but- but I couldn't and I- and I-please don't leave me Hayley your the only one I have left please." Hot tears burned through the rain which had fallen on my face and danced through my hair, the story hurt more than the girl telling me.

"JJ fuck you." My hand pulled back and slapped him harshly across the face sending his face flying back, regret swirled in my stomach but my anger was too hot to feel that emotion dominate yet.

He looked at me in shock but I wasn't done, I pushed his chest and slapped him until he grabbed my wrists and held them behind my back.

"Fuck you JJ, fuck you. I hate you so much." I cried my bottom lip wobbling as my whole body began to shake.

"Hayley, please-please don't say that. Hit me, kick me do anything but don't say you hate me. Please don't." He implored, my heart swelled as he said my name so feverishly like the first time we met at the swings when we were little.

"I hate you." The good memories of us two left my mind as all I could focus on was his hands on hers and his lips on her neck.

"Hayley- no. Don't." I turned my head to walk away only to be pulled back, his lips forced themselves against mine as he pushed in ever emotion he could into it.

Are tears mingled in with the touch as salt was beginning to be tasted.

No matter how happy he makes me feel this was something we couldn't come back from.

His lips stayed against mine for a while before I pulled away to look at his desperate expression, "please- don't kiss me. You don't get the right to do that anymore. You don't get the right to touch me when your hands touched her. Was it something I did? Did I-was I not enough for you? Did I hurt you? What did I do to deserve this? Why would you tell me you loved me when you knew, you knew what you had done. Why would you want to hurt me like that? Why, JJ why? Why."I felt myself begging to break as I asked him the questioned which had been lacking in the back of my mind ever since I found out about his sins.

"No, god no. Your the best thing that's ever happened to me Hayley, I was just hurt. I thought you were leaving and I-I thought I wasn't going to see you again. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. I love you Hazel." He confirmed adding in the nickname he's called me ever since we first met.

"Don't call me that again." I bit out harshly glaring at him sharply, he winced slightly but recovered.

"Please Hayley, don't let this ruin us. Don't." He beseeched reaching for my hands but I was quick to move them.

"You ruined us JJ, not me. You." I went to walk away once more but only to be pulled back again once more, I felt myself flinch as his chest pressed itself against my back.

He hugged me tightly as he whispered sorrys in my ear telling me that it was going to be okay and that he was going to fix it.

"You can't fix what you broke JJ." I whispered prying his hands off of my body, "don't, Don't leave me." He screamed as I was halfway away from him now.

I turned my head to look at him, "we're over JJ, for good." Tears fell from my eyes as I saw his face fall tears flooded out of his eyes as he stared at me shocked and scared.

"No-no-no-no-no don't say that. Don't say it you don't mean that." He attempted to reason, but it was too late.

What's done is done.

"Don't call me, don't text me, don't touch me, don't talk to me, and don't look at me. We're over. For good." Was all I said before running off ignoring his cries for me to come back, I turned my head slightly when his cries were no longer heard to see him sat on the floor with his butt on his legs staring at his hands.

He looked clueless as tears were seen falling from his eyes, but his betrayal was too much.

I couldn't ever look at him and it remember her.

Olivia came to my house that night after she found out what happened, I mean though how could I have not seen it, he was so obvious.

Maybe if I knew it wouldn't hurt as much?

Maybe if I knew I would be laid on Olivia's lap crying my heart out as I begged myself to stop feeling these type of feelings towards him.

But nothing worked.

I fell in love with a boy for the first time and he broke my heart.

I fell in love with a boy who never used me for fame but used me for his own toy.

I fell in love with JJ Maybank, I thought I was going to be JJ & Hayley forever but forever is only Make belief.

And this, this is reality.

Reality beyond repair.

I can't love him in the dark.