EVERYTHING FIRST | WATANABE HARUTO

chapter nineteen

💎💎💎💎💎

We arrive at Canada after the long airplane ride. I sat on the chair for a minute and check the time it's 10:50pm VANCOUVER CANADA STANDARD TIME 3:50pm KOREA STANDARD TIME.

"I feel empty..." i whispered to my self.

"You started without him, now you can start again without him"

"Jihoon you're so mean i just miss him because i also used to be with him we always go out and eat together we're always together-"

"Let's go i wanna rest" Jihoon walked and i followed.

Dad brought us a house here in Canada the is not that small and not that big just enough for me and Jihoon.

"You better learn English" i tease Jihoon.

"I have went to abroad duh"

"But you have a translator with you this time you have no one"

"What ever I'm not leaving house anyway"

I feel happy here i feel free and i feel that i would like here.

💎💎💎💎💎

Let's make it fast. It's been 3 months since i move here in Canada. My time and haruto time is not the same atleast we manage to talk to each other even though i am busy here.

I dial haruto number since i am bored.

Haruto🦋

"Love, what are gou doing?"

"I just arrive at school"

"Oh really?"

"I'm sorry ellise i have to go now i am getting late"

"Oh, okay just call me when your class is done-"

He didn't even finish my sentence. For the past months that's have been our relationship status. I sighed i decided to make my self a coffee and relax.

Long distance relationship is not easy especially when you both used to cling to each other and suddenly parted.

Haruto and i always been fighting because of our time were not even understanding each other anymore. One day its been week and we haven't talked just because of different time.

When i call him he has class and when he call me i have my class. Until he decided to broke up with me. He said we'll just continue our relationship if i comeback home. What hurts more? Haruto ended our relationship exact on my eighteen birthday.

"No matter how you love someone if they wanna go, they'll go" Jihoon said handing me glass of wine. I am adult now and jihoon approved me drink.

"He is not that type of person i am there's a big reason why he's doing this"

Haruto is the first guy who broke my heart romantically.

"Just because you love him doesn't mean you're supposed to be with him"

even if were apart, atleast we're looking at the same start, same moon, under the same sky.

I said looking at the sky and thingking of haruto. On my eighteen birthday my first boyfriend broke up with me. Now i don't know what to feel on my special day should I laugh or should i cry?

"Stop thingking about him. Think of happiness" Jihoon adviced.

"He is my happiness..." i said in a low tone playing the  empty glass. It didn't took me long to finish the glass of wine I'm thirsty i want more wine.

I remember our last special moment we were watching the sunset the night before i left Korea.

I add more wines since I'm thirsty and looking for a wine. I feel like my body needs wine and i really needed wine.

Call me dramatic but if you're in my case i don't think you can handle imagine the first guy help you escape from your prison the first guy understands you and your family situation.

💎💎💎💎💎

AFTER FIVE YEARS

Dad told me to finish my study here in Canada for just 2 years. Can't he really wait me for just 2 years? Only 2 years and I'll be back. Instead, i told dad i won't be home for more than 2 years I'm not ready to go home yet.

I'm not ready to meet him i don't know what to say since i don't get any valid reason why he wanted to broke up with me. Different time is not a valid reason to break your relationship i still believe that there's a reason why he wanted a break up.

We promised that we'll marry each other we'll promise to build a family together travel our favourite country together, we planned that together and we will also do it together. And now, broke up happens how can we do it when we already decided to parted ways and continue live with our own life.

I admitted i still love him how can i stop loving him if he don't give a reason to stop loving him.

After five years here in Canada Paji finally found someone for him. He deserve to be loved and to be care. Jihoon is such a good brother to me he treated my like a princess and make me feel like i deserve the world.

I am trying my best to get away from my past and telling my self not to be afraid to fall in love again but i really can i don't have a reason to love someone not like when i loves him i have a reason. He is my happiness and being with him is enough.

Until now i can't find a reason to forget him it's hard to forget and leave your happiness just like that.

"I was expecting when i came home my happiness is the one who is going to meet me at the airport" i said in a low tone so that jihoon won't hear me.

"Don't expect too much when you're not even sure about it" he said.

"What?"

"Not everyone will hold to their promises, so never put too much expectation on someone or you'll break your heart with your own expectations" he said and leave my room.

"What the hell is he saying" i jumped to my bed and stare at the ceiling i sighed heavily.

I finally understood. I finally understand that no matter how beautiful the sunset is, it signifies the end.

"You're my first man but in wrong time"

💎💎💎💎💎