Maybe I'm Lying [COMPLETED]

KABANATA 08- Bursting The Bubble

Mom rarely liked everything I chose, nor has she ever been satisfied with how I look. It is as if she will never be my Mom if ever she complimented me even once. Using both my hands, I stroked the smooth fabric of the white ruched dress that Mom made me wear. Dozens of shades were scattered on my bed, and she was busy deciding what shades would fit my whole personality theme...

demure... pretty... elegant yet simple.

"You seem to weigh a little bit more than you used to?" she asked, mainly to herself, as she approached me with a couple of shades in her hands. She crinkled her nose, a sign of disgust.

And though nothing is new to me, because every time she would look at me, the very first thing she would comment on was about my weight, and although I'm guilty because I indeed ate compulsively last night. Hindi ko parin maiwasan na pangsikipan ng dibdib. It hurts when it comes to the very person you value the opinion the most.

"Your dress is gorgeous and you're almost perfect, but then you gained weight... what a shame, tsk!" dugtong pa niya at napahilot pa sa sintido niya. I lowered my gaze from her eyes to her red-blood dress, like what royals from Europe wear. She grew up there, but she is a full-blooded Filipina and spent her teenage years here. Maybe she does hate here or hated me. Maybe she misses her home, and she only feels closer to the place where she grew up by wearing those.

"You're starting to have poor self-discipline. I must remind you more often," she said again, then handed me the shades for me to wear.

Hinagod niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa at pabalik. She raises her eyebrows and lets out a disappointed sigh.

"I hope the poor guy has cheap taste," she mumbled just enough for me to hear before she turned her back on me. She stepped away... one step... two steps... three... four—she stopped to look at me. "Follow me," she commanded and walked out of my room.

I lost count of how many times I wished she would compliment me without using 'buts.'

I'm pretty because I'm pretty... that's it.

Bumaba kami ng grand staircase. Sumasabay sa pagtalbog ang nakakulot kong buhok sa kada hakbang kong gagawin pababa ng hagdan. Mula sa hagdan ay nakita ko si Wren na nakatayo sa malaking frontdoor ng mansion, as usual in his black suit, and holding a helmet in his left hand. I waited for him to look at me, but his eyes were glued to my Mom.

Don't tell me he's into older women?

He left as soon as we were about to get near the front door. We waited for someone to open the car door for us. My mom hop in but I didn't and look for Wren at the back of our car. He wore his helmet on and ride his motorcycle without throwing me a glance.

Does he already know that I'm getting rid of him? And he's mad that why he's ignoring me? So he really need this job that badly?

"Get in, Dear!" Mom yelled from inside the car.

The whole ride was Mom telling me the background of my date, and she only stopped when we arrived in front of the garden. It is called 'The Outside of Eden.' The grass was perfectly tailored, and the violet hydrangea flowers coated the entrance. Narinig namin ang mahihinang tawanan sa labas dahil sa bahagyang nakabukas naming windshield.

"Remember to keep your elegance. You're not allowed to show any flaws, okay?" I nodded my head at her as I wore my shades.

Pagkababa ay sinalubong kami ng mabangong amoy ng mga bulaklak. I inhaled as much scent as I could and breathed out as I started to feel calm.

I flinched when my Mom started to sneeze uncontrollably. She's allergic to pollen and I think she wouldn't stay here with me.

"Remember to act elegantly and-hachoo!-to never forget your poise! I got to go!" sabi niya habang tinakipan ang sariling ilong. Ang tanging narinig ko nalang ay ang tunog ng paghampas ng pintuan ng kotse.