Maybe I'm Lying [COMPLETED]

KABANATA 32 - You'll Be Safe Here

Nagising ako sa kalagitnaan nang gabi. Ramdam ko ang mabigat na bagay na nakapatong sa tiyan ko. Dahan-dahan kong tinanggal ang kamay ni Wren na nakayakap parin sa akin. Pagkaraa'y isinuot ang puting t-shirt niya at iika-ikang lumabas ng kuwarto.

Nagtungo ako sa kitchen at kahit sarado ang ilaw ay agad akong dumiretso papuntang ref. Kinalkal ko ang laman ng freezer hangga’t mahanap ang isang gallon ng icecream. I got one spoon from the drawer and hid behind the counter, sat on the floor to fully devour a spoonful of the ice cream. I'm not that hungry, but I'm feeling anxious. It was just now that I felt the embarassment from what I did back in the room with Wren. I don't know how to act and what to say when he woke up. Before, I don't even care how my words will affect others as long as I said the truth. I'm worried because... Will he leave me when he isn't pleased with what I said and how I act or with the way I look? Should I start to be more cautious with my words? Will he stop loving me if he find out my shortcomings? I could never be enough with my own mother, what more to him?

I heard a flick and the surrounding turned bright. Someone opened the lights. I can hear my heartbeating loud. I hope it wasn't Wren. What will he say if he sees me eating icecream in the middle of the night like some kind of monster.

I huged figure stand infront of me and I felt my world came crashing down as I lift my head up and saw Wren, with his eyebrows tied in confusion.

He crouched down looking at my lips. Pinunasan ko agad ang mukha ko at hindi nga ako nagkakamali, nagkalat nga ang icecream sa mukha ko. Nanlamig ako.

“Uh... I-ah....” Hindi ko ma-formulate nang maayos ang sasabihin ko. Paano nga ba ako magpapaliwanag? Mabuti na lamang at nakasalampak na ako sa sahig kung hindi ay malamang bumagsak na ko sa panlalambot ng mga binti ko.

“Are you eating?” he asked smiling. My eyes watered.

“No! I just... I.. uh... taste it,” I reasoned out, stuttering.

“It's okay... I'm here to eat too....” He went towards the ref and looked for something before he laughed. The sound ringing in my ears. “Though that's the last one of my favourite flavor... mango graham....”

My mouth fell open. Fear starts crawling up my chest.

“Next time open the lights when you want to eat. Don't hide...,” sabi niya at naupo na rin sa tabi ko. Hindi ako sumagot at nanatiling nakatitig sa kanya. “You can eat whenever and whatever you want. No one will judge you.”

“I don't know...,” I just said. I don't know what to say. It's not like I often hear it from someone.

“The punishment if I caught you?” He rubbed his chin using his thumb and index finger.

“Huh?”

“You have to share with me whatever you're eating!” He chuckled again and looked at me tenderly.

“But it will be hard... there's no m-magic,” I told him barely a whisper. He smiled without showing his teeth but manage to make his eyes smile too.

“ I understand... that's why I'm here. We have a lifetime to spend walking side by side each other, babysteps if needed,” he told me and brushed his thumb on the corner of my lips. My tears fell down uncontrollably and he used his both hands to wipe my cheeks dry, and land a soft reassuring kiss on my forehead.

I winced when I felt my stomach ache. His eyes widened with a realization, “Wait! Wait! What happened? Are you pregnant?!” tanong niya na halos hindi mapakali.

Nalaglag ang panga ko at hinampas ang balikat niya.

“Are you a fool?!” hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. “We did safe sex!”