Maybe I'm Lying [COMPLETED]

KABANATA 24 - Waves and Rocks

Nakalabas na ako ng opisina ni Eumir habang pilit ko paring nilalabanan ang nanlalambot kong mga paa. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang panghihina. Sobra-sobra ang galit ko kanina kaya pakiramdam ko ay naubusan ako ng lakas.

We sealed the deal just like that. Na ang mga salita lang namin ang pinanghahawakan. Tutupad ba sila? Hindi ako sigurado pero isusugal ko ‘to. Ipagdarasal ko na lang na mas mahalaga parin kay Eumir ang kompanya niya kaysa malaman ng mundo na may anak siya sa asawa ng Vice President ng Ishioka Empire, na bestfriend niya pa. I’ll borrow some time to prepare, so even if they break the deal, they'll be off to hell.

“Ate.” I jumped in shock and looked back, only to see Craven in his gray-colored shawl. Of course, who else would call me ‘ate’ in this mansion?

“Craven…,” banggit ko sa pangalan niya at agad siyang nilapitan.   I raised my hand to trace his pale cheeks upto his soft messy hair, scrunching it lightly. We just keep our mouth shut. He let me memorize his face for a minute before he breaks the silence between us.

“Will you be back?” I let go of him and lick my now-drying lips.

“I need you to take care of mom,” I whispered. He stopped for a second and just stared at me. “Am I asking for too much? You're still a teenager—”

“And so are you, Ate. Have you forgotten you're still nineteen?” I chuckled and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“I’ll be twenty next week,” rason ko na ikina-ngiti niya. I’ll spend my birthday alone this time. Where? I don't know.

“Speaking of,” aniya at may inilabas na susi mula sa bulsa ng pantalon niya. “Birthday gift,” patuloy niya.

Kinuha ko iyon at pinagmasdan. Car key?  “It’s under your name. So ikaw na ang bahala kung anong gagawin mo diyan, sell it if you need the money. Ngayon ko na ibibigay kasi mukhang I can't celebrate your birthday with you na.”

I nodded at him and mouthed thank you after putting the key back in his palm. “I can't take anything—”

“Yes, this is Dad’s money, but I was the one who bought it… so, technically, you didn’t break any rules,” he said. My eyebrows furrowed, asking him how did he know about it.

“I’m an eavesdropper!” he said, scrunching his nose while pushing me away from him. “The car is just outside. Go now, Charm! Don't worry about us. I'll take care of mom,” he said as he turned his back on me. Pero di naka-ligtas sa paningin ko ang nanunubig niyang mga mata.

“And yourself too!” dugtong ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi parin siya lumingon at nagpatuloy sa paglakad.

“No goodbyes, then!” I shouted, and even if I couldn’t see his expression. I knew he was smiling. No goodbyes because this won't be the last time. I'll be back, and the next time I'll leave… I'll take him with me.

Katulad ng sinabi ni Craven ay nasa harap nga ng mansion ang kotse. Isang convertible car na pangdalawahang tao lang ang maaring sakay. Pinasadahan ko ng mga daliri ko ang kulay abong pintura nito bago sumakay. Pinaandar ko ang makina at pinaharurot iyon. Sa huling pagkakataon, muli kong tiningnan ang mansion sa sideview mirror ng sinasakyan ko. I don't know what lies for me in the outside world, but I wish it would be better than this mansion where I grew up. I don't know what lies for me in the outside world, but I wish it would be better than this mansion where I grew up.

I wonder if Mom would ever notice I'm gone or if ever she did, would she even care? I hope not. So she won't suffer too much.

I drove without a destination in mind until my stomach told me to stop. I haven't eaten lunch, but I don't have the appetite to eat when my mouth refuses to crave food.

Iginilid ko ang sasakyan ko para iparada. Inilibot ko ang tingin ko at nakita ang baywalk sa may gilid. Napagpasyahan kong maupo muna sa batong harang ng dagat at ng konkretong highway habang nag-iisip ng susunod kong hakbang.

The anger made me act impulsively. I didn't lay out a plan for my next move after moving out. And here I am. Who should I call?

I don't have Nanny Neninta’s number. It could either be Bessie or Gracia. Both would be willing to help me, but would I be willing to ask for a favor? That's another dilemma. I could call Wren too… but I dumped him and told him words I shouldn't. Sino bang nasa matinong pag-iisip ang tutulong parin kahit nasabihan ka na ng masasakit na salita?

I sighed…

and listen to the rumbling sound the waves make every time they crash against the rocky shore that breaks them into white foam. And I think the waves were indeed brainless... hitting the rocks would do nothing.

“Constant crashing waves could break a rock.”  Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan niyon at nakitang paupo na sa gilid ko si Wren.

Tulala ko itong tinitigan. “It could even break bones.” What is he doing here? Is he a fool?! Are my words not enough? Did he have to hurt himself more?

“Are you a fool?” Hindi niya ko nilingon at malayo lang ang tingin sa karagatan. Nililipad ang mga hibla ng buhok niyang hindi naisama sa tali.

“Do you think keeping me in the dark would solve the problem?” his eyes still fixated on the sea. I didn't answer, but instead pulled my gaze away from him. I searched for the words to say in the vastness of the sea and between each crest of the waves, but found none.

“Saying words you don't mean… I know what you did to protect the ones you cared for….” I opened my mouth to answer him but then closed it again. “You could protect the ones you love while I protect you. Does that sounds fair?” he added.

Tumigil nang panandalian ang tibok ng puso ko at naramdaman ko ang muling panunubig ng mga mata ko. And when my heart beats again, it is now louder than the rumbling waves. The sound it makes could make up a word spelled, W-r-e-n, his name. So loud it made my eyes water.

“I’m no longer part of the Ishioka family, and the—”

“And they fire me, I know.” Lumingon siya sakin at ginamit ang kamay niya bilang pantabing sa mukha ko mula sa sinag ng araw. Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. I can't cry. “Yes… I’m no longer your bodyguard. But I'm your boyfriend,  and I still have to make sure you're safe.” My mouth fell open. “You should know that breakup is between two lovers—”

“We’re only dating!” I blurted out. That made his eyebrows furrowed in a puzzled expression

“Yes. Doesn't that means we're in a relationship?” I laughed. He and Bessie think the same.

“Are you really clueless?” I asked and he nodded as an answer. Hinawi ko ang kamay niyang pinantatabing sakin dahil baka mangawit pa siya. “Have you ever dated someone?” Umiling siya.

“I stayed out of parties, focused on studying. I only wanted peace and silence, none of the girls approaches me the way you did.”

“You still need to court me!” Tumango-tango siya na para bang bata na naiintindihan niya na ang ibig kong sabihin.

“Should I start now?” tanong niya pa. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na kurutin ang pisngi niya.

“Actually…,” panimula ko at kinagat ang ibabang labi ko bago magpatuloy.  “I’m Charm Tempest Veridad and I have nothing with me but my name, and a gorgeous face that couldn't protect you from my family. So if you don't mind—”

“But I don't need you to protect me, I only need you, Charm Tempest Veridad, the one who never bothers to sugarcoat her words, and who's fierce, but hides a soft heart….”

I bit my lower lip but was still determined to make him back out. “Yes, I'm still the old Charm. Who's promiscuous, too full of herself, and have a tongue that could throw words sharper than a dagger—”

“So?” Natigil ako sa tanong niya at malalim na napabuntong-hininga.

“Then, if you're really okay with that… you could be my boyfriend now,” sabi ko sa kanya. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. Lalo ko tuloy naramdaman ang init ng palad niya at pakiramdam ko ay tinutunaw ako nito pero wala na akong balak na bumitaw pa.