Lighthouse
I've been to many places. I've seen many lights. I've heard many voices. But everything... draws me back to you.
"Really? You were intimidated?"
I chuckled against her hair. Her steady breathing and the light brush of her breath on my skin made me shiver. It's a quarter past 1 in the morning, and everything is still and silent. But her whispers are as loud as my beating heart.
It felt euphoric. Lying in bed, with almost nothing on, lazily stroking her hair. And yet, beneath all the dull movements and eyes tightly shut, I've never felt this alive. Well, I'm always alive when I'm with her. Maybe even in death, my heart will continue to sing to her.
Kailan ko nga ba 'to huling naramdaman?
Tandang-tanda ko pa noong una ko siyang makita sa unibersidad na pareho naming tinutuluyan. Masungit, suplada, pero maganda. Hindi ko naramdaman sa unang pagsilay ko sa kanyang mga mata ang pakiramdam ng pagiging buhay. Subalit nang mahalin ko siya nang totoo sa unang pagkakataon, doon ko napagtanto ang sagot.
Pero mapanakit ang panahon. Hindi nagpapatawad ang pagkakataon. Sa loob ng ilang taon, pagmamahal ko lang sa kanya ang naging pag-asa sa araw-araw.
"Answer me, 'wag kang tumawa lang. Wala namang nakakatawa," she reprimanded me.
"Alright, alright," I softly conceded.
If there's one thing I've learned in all these years, it's to surrender to her.
"I wasn't exactly intimidated when I first saw you. Suplada ka lang naman," I told her. "And you approached me first."
"Ano'ng konek ng paglapit ko sa 'yo? Hindi ka ba nilalapitan ng kahit sino'ng babae?" mayabang niyang sabi.
Muli ay tumawa ako.
"Alunsina," I sighed. "Love, let's just sleep, please."
I closed my eyes once again. Ang huli kong narinig sa kanya ay ang mahina niyang bulong bago ako sinakop ng dilim at dinala sa tila walang-katapusang panaginip kung saan ako pa rin ang pinili ng kanyang mundo at siya pa rin ang laman ng aking isip.
It's been years, and yet, the feeling of seeing another day beside her still felt like everything happened just a second ago. Sobrang bilis ng takbo ng panahon, na hindi na ako nabigyan ng pagkakataong namnamin ang bawat segundong tumatakbo sa kawalan.
Ilang taon din ang kinuha sa amin ng mundo. O siguro... ilang taon ang kinuha namin sa isa't isa, gawa ng mga maling desisyon at mga sigaw ng damdamin na nag-iisip nang hindi naaayon sa kung ano ang aming narararamdaman.
I would be lying if I say that everything we went through didn't matter because we had each other in the end. I would be lying if I claim that I've long forgiven the past. Because I didn't get over. I couldn't get over. Maraming nasayang na mga pagkakataon. Maraming nasaktan at patuloy na nasasaktan.
But then again, when did love never hurt?
"Kailan ba kayo magsisimulang bumuo ng pamilya? Ilang taon na itong si Wave at baka hindi na kayanin ang pagbubuntis!"
I smiled as I held her waist. Nakagawian na naming maglakad-lakad sa kung saan dito sa Basco mula sa aming bahay bawat umaga. At sanay na rin kami sa mga taong patuloy na nagtatanong tungkol sa binabalak naming pamilya ni Alunsina.
Palihim na ngumiti si Wave sa akin bago bumaling sa matanda.
"Hindi naman po kami nagmamadali. May tamang panahon pa po diyan," masiglang tugon ng aking asawa.
"Ay naku! Mahirap magbuntis kapag matanda na! Baka akala ninyo'y bagets pa kayo!"
Indeed, time is cruel. It never stops for anyone. And as time spins, we spin with it, walking with the hands of the clock so that we may not be left behind.
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BINABASA MO ANG
Shot Through the Lights
Romance[Politico 2] For Alunsina, life is a one-time shot. It's a one-time risk and a one-time drown into the open. She gives it her all and would never settle for second best as long as her chance is still on the loose. So when given that one opportunity...