what i'm here for

Chapter 3: Numb

Clad in flannel pants and an old tee, Derek made his way down the wooden stairs and turned to head into the kitchen. He had spent the better part of an hour in the shower, holding Meredith tight in his arms until the last of her tears had been shed. She was now lying in bed, wrapped up in as many blankets as Derek could find. She was quiet and subdued, and Derek hoped he was doing everything she needed from him. He knew she hated to ask for help, but the fact that she was accepting his comfort and support made him hopeful that she was glad he was there.

As he pushed the door open and entered the kitchen, he met Alex's eyes. The younger surgeon was sitting at the kitchen table, coffee mug held tightly in his hands. He seemed to be waiting for something; news, information, an explanation. His expression was apprehensive, uncertainty mixed with confusion, and maybe a little embarrassment.

"Hey," Derek offered, nodding his head.

"Hey," Alex responded, somewhat hesitantly. The normally confident doctor suddenly seemed unsure of himself in Derek's presence. But Alex wouldn't be Alex if he wasn't upfront. "Look man, I'm sorry about-."

Derek held up a hand, motioning for Alex to stop. "It's okay, Alex, no hard feelings."

Alex still seemed unsure.

Derek offered a short smile. "I'm glad she has friends like you," Derek said, nodding. "People to look out for her. I'd rather you do something like this than not do anything when she really needs it."

"Okay." Alex said, nodding as he gaze Derek what he could only assume was a look of approval.

However," Derek continued. "Let me make one thing very clear. I would never, ever hurt her, especially not like that." And it was true. After Meredith's drowning experience, he had even felt guilty for the cracked ribs and bruising on her chest from the extensive CPR he had performed.

Alex nodded. "Good."

And with that the tension between the two doctors dissipated. Derek continued past Alex, opening the lower storage cupboard to grab a clean towel. He then opened the freezer and fished through it. He pulled the icepack out of the freezer. Izzy had burned herself baking one day while he and Meredith had been eating breakfast. Meredith had sighed and jumped up to fish the icepack out and dropped it on the counter beside her roommate without a word. Apparently she and George had bought it within the first month on living together because they were tired of losing their frozen goods to Izzy's accident prone baking binges.

Derek wrapped the towel around the icepack and proceeded to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and poured a glass of orange juice. He paused as he came back around to where Alex was sitting at the table.

He stood awkwardly across the table from the younger man, carefully balancing the items he was carrying. He hesitated briefly before speaking. "It was Thatcher," he finally said, no explanation necessary for explaining what 'it' was.

Alex's head shot up. "Her father?" He asked, incredulously.

Derek nodded sadly. "Susan, uh, she took a turn for the worse. She contracted an infection."

"And he was mad at Meredith?" Alex asked, anger evident in his voice.

Derek sighed. "She turned septic in a matter of hours. There was nothing anyone could do." He paused between statements. "She passed away a few hours ago."

Alex gasped quietly. "Oh," was all he said.

"Yeah," Derek said.

And there was silence in the kitchen as they both took a few moments to process the implication of Derek's words.