what i'm here for

Chapter 22: Blackmail

The second time Meredith awoke that morning was very different from the first, which was funny, really, because here she was, waking for the second time, in the same morning, and on the outside very little was different. She was still at home, she was still in her room, in her bed, and Derek was still there with her. And she was waking up in his arms again, albeit this time she wasn't wearing any clothes, but that was really just a small detail. The mechanism responsible for waking her was different. Not the alarm this time, but sunlight, streaming in her window, and slowly encroaching on her eyes, letting her know it must be close to noon. So, on the outside, very little was different. The sun woke her, and she was naked.

On the inside, however, everything was different. She hadn't expected Derek's problems to be so deep, so painful, and she suspected that he hadn't either. But, in a way she was appreciative of their talk, because, as hard as it had been on them, they had gotten everything out on the table. They had discussed what needed to be discussed, and had even gone so far as to make plans for the future. Not concrete plans, but plans; expectations. And even though it was still a little scary, the whole thinking about the future and putting yourself out there thing, it was one of the best feelings in the world. Because here they were with plans. Plans that she had played a major role in implementing. Her old self wouldn't believe it.

Meredith Grey had actually had a real, adult conversation. She had talked, and she had listened. She had made suggestions, and had countered claims that weren't true. And most importantly, she had supported her partner when he had needed her. And she hadn't run away, not even metaphorically. Meredith Grey had made it through an adult conversation, and she was okay, and her partner was okay. And now they had a future to plan for. This really wasn't one of the best feelings in the world; it was the best feeling in the world.

The relatively shallow breathing against the back of her neck told her Derek was already awake. She smiled and turned in his arms, coming face to face with him.

"Morning again," she whispered, pressing her lips against his.

"Morning again," he responded with a smile, reaching for her hand and threading his fingers through hers. He looked happier than she could remember seeing in a long time. His eyes were free of the pain she had become accustomed to over the past weeks, and the sparkle had returned in full.

"This is a much better way to wake up," she said, pressing her naked body into his.

He smirked. "It is a much better way to wake up. We should wake up like this every morning."

She laughed. "We should."

He smiled and they spent several moments just happily staring at each other.

"You good?" Meredith finally asked.

He nodded against his pillow with a smile. "Yeah, I'm great." He hesitated before continuing. "Thank-you, Meredith."

"There's nothing to thank me for, Derek. I love you and I want..." But he was shaking his head so she trailed off.

"No, I didn't mean for staying with me, although I gotta say I'm loving that," he said with a smile. "I meant for letting me get everything off my chest. I feel kind of stupid now. I know I overreacted, but at the time... Mer, I just felt like I was..." he trailed off, unable to come up with the right words.

"Drowning?" She supplied.

He didn't flinch, but he did stare at her for several seconds before responding. "Yeah, but you saved me, again."

She smiled at his words. "So, we're doing the talking thing?"

He nodded.

"And the sharing thing?"