what i'm here for

Chapter 17: Dont forget the kitchen sink

After a long explanation, followed by a multitude of questions for him to answer, Derek bid farewell to the family of his most recently saved patient. After his last scheduled surgery the night before had gone long, the patient they were keeping an eye on went into distress, and he was right back into surgery. The sun was now coming up, dawn just peeking through the dark, cloudy morning. He sighed heavily. He had no idea if Meredith was still at the hospital or not, having not seen her since dinner the evening before. Regardless, she and Cristina were scheduled to leave in just a few hours.

He bought himself a coffee and wandered towards the elevator, pressing the up button and leaning tiredly against the wall to wait. Just seconds later the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He pushed himself off the wall and stepped to the door, surprised to find himself face to face with Meredith and Cristina.

"Hey," Meredith spoke as her eyes landed on him. She and Cristina were dressed in street clothes.

"Hey, I thought you'd already left."

She shook her head. "Just going now, actually. Cristina needs to pick up a few things at... her old apartment, then we're going home to pack."

Derek nodded. "Okay, I should see you there soon. I just have to get changed."

"Okay," Meredith answered. "See you soon."

Cristina shook her head. "Mer, give me your keys." She demanded.

"What? Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Lend me your car. I'll go get my stuff. You can go home with McDreamy." She spoke. "There's no reason for you to come with me."

Meredith was silent for several seconds, and Derek held his breath, expecting her to protest, but she nodded and gave Cristina her keys. "Okay, thanks. I'll see you soon." And she stepped onto the elevator beside Derek. The door closed and they were away, alone for the first time since Cristina had interrupted their meal with her vacation plans.

She turned to face him. "Derek, I'm sorry. This is horrible timing, but..."

He nodded. "Cristina needs you," he stated. "Don't be sorry, you're being there for your friend."

"But we're just starting to talk and stuff. I don't want to ruin it."

He smiled. "You won't ruin anything. We have stuff to work through, but nothing that can't wait two weeks."

She sighed. "I just hate leaving when I know you're in pain."

His breathing hitched, just a bit. And his heart felt like it was in a vice grip. However, before he could respond, the elevator stopped and the car doors opened. He took a large gulp of coffee as he stepped out onto the floor, welcoming the scolding liquid as it flowed down his throat. He was so tired. Meredith followed him to attending locker room.

He stopped at the door, turning to face her, and smiled. She looked so tired. And so worried. "It really is okay, Meredith. I'm okay. You're here, and we're okay, and you passed. Right now things really are fine."

She sighed, her upper teeth biting down on her lower lip, as she met his eyes. He almost smiled at her expression, not used to being the person stared at like that. Like she knew he was holding back something, but didn't know how hard to push. It made him a touch uncomfortable.

He pushed his mostly full coffee cup into her small hands. "I need to get changed. You look exhausted. Have some coffee."

Opening his locker, Derek quickly stripped out of his dirty scrubs and pulled on jeans, a button up and a light sweater. He dumped the scrubs into the laundry bin, pulled his bag out of the locker, and re-connected his beeper and phone to his fresh pants. He hung his bag on his shoulder and pushed out the door.