what i'm here for

Chapter 10: We have a wedding to get to

Derek hurried through the hall towards the locker room, hoping to catch Meredith before she left for the wedding hall. He had finally succeeded in removing Burke from surgery, leaving the groom to shower and change before driving to the hall. So far Derek though he was doing a stand up job as best man. He had stood as a groomsman at all four of his sisters' weddings, but he had never been best man before. He had always assumed he would be Mark's one day, assuming the plastic surgeon ever got married. But now, this may be his only shot.

He quickly headed for the intern locker room, his heart thudding as it had since he had heard the preliminary results had been released to the interns in question. When he had written the test, the first results had taken at least a week, and it had come as quite a surprise for him to hear some of Weston's interns talking animatedly about their passing.

Turning the last corner, he arrived at the door and reached a hand out, only to have the door open in front of him. Meredith's fellow interns flooded past him. Meredith smiled at him and handed Izzy the dress, saying she would meet them at the church. And then they were gone, and the door swung shut, leaving them in silence.

Then she smiled. "I passed," she said quietly, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

He let go of a breath he didn't know he had been holding as relief swept over him in waves. His lips curled up into a happy smile. "Good," he said, pulling her into a bear hug; wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Congratulations."

"Thank-you," she whispered as she returned the hug. After a few peaceful moments she spoke again. "Thank-you, Derek," she repeated. "For everything. I don't think...If you hadn't..." She shook her head, and pulled back just far enough to stare him in the eye. "I don't think I would have gotten through this week without you. I would never have passed the test."

Derek shook his head. "You would have been fine without me."

Meredith disagreed. "No, I wouldn't, I really wouldn't. You've been there for me all week, Derek. As much as it scares me, you've been there. And that...that feels really good. Really right."

Derek allowed a smile at her words, knowing they were only partly true. "You would have been fine without me," he repeated. "Great, in fact."

She scowled and tilted her head. "Why won't you let me thank you?" She asked, a critical gaze sweeping over his face.

Derek shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "Because you don't need to thank me, Mer." He really didn't want to discuss this particular topic any further.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I think I'm rubbing off on you too much."

He smirked, tightened his grip around her waist. "You can rub off on me as much as you want."

"Derek!" She scolded him, but there was laughter in her eyes.

He reached one hand up to the back of her head, and pulled her close, meeting her lips with his. He had definitely succeeded in taking her mind of the original topic.

Meredith was still trying not to laugh when Derek's lips came crashing down on hers. She quickly responded, pulling closer, one hand gripping around his neck, the other wandering down to the hem of his shirt. She groaned in frustration as her hands slid under his jacket to meet a tucked in shirt.

Derek's hands were doing wonders as he rubbed them over the bare skin on the exposed part of her back, his fingers tangling in her hair. In her ploy to un-tuck his shirt, she barely noticed him gently steering her backwards, pushing them against the lockers. Up against a solid surface, Derek's body pushing against hers, Meredith moaned into his mouth as the kiss deepened once more. His fingers were working the tie on the back of her dress when she realized what was happening.

"Derek," she tried to speak, and he moved his mouth away from hers to slowly work his lips down to her jaw and neck. She tried not to moan. "Derek," she said again.

"Mmm," he mumbled, as his assault continued.

She was breathing hard as she reached behind her head to disengage his hands and pull them around to rest in front of her. He lifted his head up, panting as he stared at his own hands, clutched tightly in hers.

She almost laughed at his questioning expression and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his lips. "We can't do this now," she muttered.

"But we need to celebrate," he whispered, leaning into her, his lips coming dangerously close to hers.

She shook her head. "Yes, we do, but not now."

He muttered something incoherent and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. He was still breathing hard.

She smiled, her lips so close to his. "We have to get to the wedding."

He nodded against her, but made no move to leave.

She closed her eyes and breathed in, deep and refreshing. How her life had changed. Her mother was still dead. Her step-mother was still dead. Her father still wasn't talking to her. But it all seemed okay right now. It all seemed like something she could handle. She had passed her last official test. By the end of the week she would be a full fledged surgical resident. And Derek would be there, celebrating with her. Happy for her. Proud of her. And most importantly, he would be there. He would simply be there, with her. She had never had something like that. Never had support she could lean on, could trust to be there. But slowly and surely she found herself trusting the man in front of her. She found herself believing that he really would still be there tomorrow. He wasn't running for the hills. He really did love her.

She sighed happily and angled her forehead away from his, pushing her lips up against his, gently, not insistent like before. She kissed him for several seconds before pulling back and looking him straight in the eye. "I love you, Derek," she told him.

He smiled, blinked once or twice as his lips tightened, just a bit, almost unnoticeable. "I love you too, Meredith." There was something about the look in his eyes, something about the tone of his voice. There was something there that she couldn't quite read. Happiness, relief, thankfulness, and something more...sadness, guilt maybe? She gazed into his eyes, searching for an answer that wasn't there. Or maybe he wasn't ready to give it.

She tilted her head. "What's the matter, Derek?" She asked softly.

"Nothing's the matter," he whispered. "I'm happy for you."

She shook her head. "But you seem...off."

He shrugged. "It's been a stressful week. I'm just relieved it's almost over."

She paused and contemplated his words for a moment, knowing there was something else, but not sure how tangible it was, not sure how far to push to issue. But then he smiled the McDreamy smile, which still made her melt, and she found herself smiling back.

"So," he was saying. "We have to get to the church, get through the wedding and the reception, and then," he raised an eyebrow suggestively, "We can go home and celebrate."

She was still laughing as he took her hand and led her out of the locker room.