"Dr saab khayaal rakhiye ga..",said one of her colleagues who had visited her to pay his condolences. "Take your time , we will manage at hospital...aap khud ko sambhalen".
Days had passed on ,people would come visit her and her in-laws, pay condolences and leave.Almost all of them said bhagwaan ki marzi k aage koi kuch ni kar sakta.She wondered if there was a God and if there was what wrong had she done him to face his wrath.
"Sab karmo ka khel hai..." , someone said . Shenaaz used to believe in this , but now she could not exactly bring herself to think of doing something as malicious to bring her the destiny she had got.
Samya her sister, had arrived from California, where she had been working as AI scientist. She was two years younger than shehnaaz and didn't really have the experience to deal with this.Not knowing what to do samya showed shehnaaz some of her pictures from US, talking about the stories behind them,hoping it would distract her.
"Harinder nu gye 5 din vi ni hoye te aa beh k gappa Maran lag payi aa..."(it hasn't been 5 days days since harinder and she has started gossiping and talking again"....)....said a woman .
Shehnaaz looked at her ,not saying anything she let out a sigh at her fate.
"Ki kare fir ....jaan te nai desakdi na...naale ude jaan den naal vi keda mera puttar wapas aa ju....mai ude ma hoke vi use din roti kha li si na...jad uh nu shamshaan chadya...."(what should she do otherwise...she can't give her life...anyways her giving her life won't bring my son back...i being his mother also took food the same day we cremated him....), said her mother in law.She was a wonderful women ,and a strong one .loss of her son to death did not bitter her, she was broken but did not become bitter .And for shehnaaz she still wanted the best...and was worried for her as well.
Days passed on they ate daal chawal and roti that would be prepared at home in Langer. Finally the moments of antim ardaas came, they prayed for the departed soul and the dutiful mourning that is observed in a sikh household came to end.
"Harinder was a great friend...you know he loved you ,he was hopeful of a great life with you...he respected you....shehnaaz I m so sorry ...yaar ki hogya ....kabhi ni socha tha....kya kahu teko..."said one of Harinders closest friends as his eyes cried with tears.
"Dekho harinder toh chala gya...jo hua shouldn't have happened...but rab ki marzi.....par shehnaaz abhi choti bacchi h ...hum log apne dukh me uske saath koi zulm na kar de...",some elderly from family spoke...
."kehnha kya chahte ho...uski vidwa hai...uski vidwa ka sab haq mile ga isko...par faraz bhi toh iske hi h... ladki ka Naseeb hai jaisa h ...hai toh uski vidwa...apna waqt le fir kaam pe jae wapis...par ab izzat ka khyaal rakhe sabki ....harinder ki bhi!", declared the eldest woman present there.
The crowd fell silent , this is what happens .No matter how rich and educated you are ...there are certain rules when you belong to feudal classes. Shehnaaz looked at dad ,but didn't get any eye contact, she knew maybe this was it for her.
Harinders family was kind ,his mom and dad both.Though consumed by grief they tried their best to engage shehnaaz, however there was an still an ounce of awkwardness and she could sense it.
Around a fortnight later shehnaaz had returned back to hospital for work, upon being persuaded by her and harinders family."Yaad aati hogi na ...waqt k saath behtar hojata h....paath kia kar"...said one of the women who worked as pharmacist at hospital, she had also lost her husband.
But how was Shehnaaz to tell her and a billion ppl that she and harinder didn't have memories enough to last a lifetime...or even a few years.
"Dr gill aajao chai Peete h bahar thak gye hoge?..."said her colleague, another doctor at hospital after they were done with a surgery. She however made an excuse and left for her home."Pati ko mare mahina hua ni ki doosro k saath ghul mil gyi ..",she had heard someone taunt about her coworker from another gender and had therefore made a mental note to stay clear of all this.
"Shehnaaz k liye kuch special laana...woh aai h aaj..", said her maami to shehnaaz's maama ji, who was a professor at medical College and lived a walking distance from shehnaaz's in laws. They talked about diseases ,patients, shehnaaz's cousins and everything, and meanwhile both elders kept talking of self love and moving on in between. They loved shehnaaz, she was eldest child all ppl had in her Naanka ,therefore was everyone's laadli.
"Isko meat macchi mat de mandeep", said one of the visiting distant relatives of shehnaaz's naani as shehnaaz's maami poured mutton into her plate.And here it was ,yet another reminder of how shehnaaz was expected to lead a chaste life ahead.Nor that her her family agreed but society was hell bent on making her surrender, maybe this too was essential or the women would go astray and the society would crumble.
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