"What the fuck have you done!"
"Dimaag kharaab ho gya ha kya?", he asked in a voice raised.
If the words could have aligned he might have understood what he felt at that moment. The ground from underneath his feet had slipped .He held her falling body in his grip ,his hands went up to hold her face .It was wet, she had shed enough tears.
"Sorry ", she mumbled ,as she used all her strength to take him inside of her apartment.
He saw her sitting on the floor.He could not make any sense of her reaction..
"Darling we need to get you to hospital ", his words were quick as he held a cloth wrapped over hand ,pulling her up.
"No, i can't go to hospital. Woh log police ko bulayege....faltu ka mudda banega...plzz"., she pleaded.
"Sweet heart you are bleeding way to much....get up...i will handle everything"
"Sidharth, yaha Betho....i know what I am doing....just help me...oky?",she said.
"Shehnaaz, kya ....kar kya rahi h?",he countered,when she handed him a box.
"Trust me ...i can do this...just help me?"
She took out cotton from the box , neatly cleaned her wound." Spirit pass kar....cotton pe !"
He did as instructed, washed her wound clean with a swab .
"Idr yeh ispe daalo".
He poured the hemostat on her wound, then helped her as she all by herself closed the incision,to finally tie a banadage over it
He looked at her face, so calm and serene.This face ,no she couldn't take her life.
"I am sorry ...Sidharth agr hospital jate ...toh police bhi involve ho jati...."
"Really Shehnaaz in the face of all this ...tumko police ka stresd hai?"
"Sidharth, I know it looks like I tried taking my life ....but trust me its not that...i didn't know....i just wanted to ..."
"Feel the pain!", Sidharth completed for her holding her arm ,it had multiple marks , witness that her skin bore to the to tortures she had committed on herself.They were straight lines of scars at different stages of healing,some completely healed ,some barely visible.
"Nahi hota phir bhi!",she let out a sob from her mouth.
"Baby kaise hoga....pain ko andar jama kar rahi h ...aur expect karti h ki yeh cut tujhe us se free karega?"
His eyes did not have an ounce of judgement.How could he? He was an many in late 30's ,who had seen enough life ,not freak out at the scene he had witnessed.If anything his heart went out for Shehnaaz. He thought she was brave,not because she did this,but because in midst of all chaos ,her head never made her lose in the end.It had stood by her ,extracting her out of every chaos she entered into.In all this turmoil ,she had not for once thought of taking her life ,she valued it. IT hurt and times she wanted to punish herself but life was too precious a war to be lost.
"Tune pehle bhi kia ha na?"
"Aapko sab toh maloom hai na?"
Of course he knew ,he had known it all the moment he had laid his eyes on her, the moment he had heard her voice ,her laughter, her cry....even the moment he had heard her name. He had known it .The altered pattern of his heat had said it all.
"You know blood freaks me out!.".,he spoke
She smiled ," uske liye aapne bhot accha kia ".
She had gone to clean herself up and change into a new set of clothes.While Sidharth stood there making them some tea.
"Mai mom ko dekh k aaya.",he said while she was in bathroom.
Checked on his mother ,switched off the lights and told his mother that he was at Shehnaaz place and that she needed him.
Shehnaaz stood near the balcony .She had heard of rains in Mumbai, they were famous.It was a strange night, just like the storm inside her ,the skies were crying too.
"Thunderstorms they are my favorite.....sound they make....majestic. hai na?", she questioned as he passed her the tea.
She was a different woman.,a soul older than the planet itself ,he thought.Normally thunderstorms would scare any one off ...but there she stood watching them absolutely awestruck.As if both Shehnaaz and the lighting with sound ,spoke the same language that of thunderstorms.
"They are a proof that even skies cry with the burden of broken stories!", her words.
Yes she did it ...her pain was connected to universe itself. Her soul was deeply embedded in the matter of cosmos,that she felt the pain cosmos felt.
"Sidharth, i did not cry over Harinder or anyone....i cried over everyone....i hurt so much....i m sorry you had to see this. "
"Darling meko bolti h ...ki apni ladaai k liye sorry nahi bolna toh khud kyu boli"
There ,this man had access to the words that could soothe her soul.Her consciousness was amazed ,he was absolutely stunning.She didn't even need words ,his heart had conveyed it to her.
"Baby you should see a doctor...u know?
Aise kab tak chalega? "
" I know...but himmat nahi ha ..."
"Pehle bhi ...u have been seeing some doctor?".
"College me I used to see this counselor!"
"Darling you have a history....professional help ,zaroori hai!
I have some contacts...i can get u a good counselor ",he spoke.
"Nahi ...i will call maamu...he's a doctor...he has contacts..plus he needs to know."
"Yeah...tu rest kar.", he said while leaving the balcony.
She stretched her hands ,went for his and stopped him .In the background of a thunderstorm hitting the city , she stepped closer to him ,looking straight into his eyes ,she dipped his face down,her heart beating fast; she reached out for his lips,kissing him.
For a moment sidharth didn't know what had happed and he didn't react.
Shehnaaz stopped,calming the erratic beat of her."I am surely not high...and this might be the rain....but that kiss felt so right",she spoke.
In a blink of eye sidharth, her neck and kissed her.Their hands got hold of whatever they could,balancing themselves, untill their lungs had no air.
With their foreheads touching each other ,they calmed their breaths.
"Wow...that was..."she was about to say further, when sidharth added..."surreal...did magic just happen?".
She blushed and smiled,as tucked her hair back ,giving a quick kiss on her forehead. She held his arm and wrapped it around herself as she turned her back to him.,looking to the sky .
Sidharth stood there quiet ,inhaling her scent.She had some perfume ,he could smell vanilla rest of flavors he couldn't identify.
What ever was between them was a part of some bigger story ,it was so magical,his heart completely calm ,not a beat that was out of order when she kissed him,he felt the same as someone feels with a fireplace in a cold winter night.And that scared him ,whatever was becoming of them,because it was new.In his nearly 40 years of life he had never manifested a feel as strong as he felt,when this girl in his arms ,kissed him.
"Idr aa soja ...agr aapko mere se darr ni lagta",she spoke signaling to her bed.
She was smart and a comedian, he knew by now.
He walked to her laying down by her side,he turned to look at her. She was smiling ,unaware of the events they had set forth with stars in sky.
He opened his arms ,gesturing for a hug...and she gave in .Lying in his embrace, she planted a kiss at his heart.
"Good night ",she whispered.,before drifting to sleep.
