She laid covered in sheets,her head resting on his arm ,as she played with her phone.Meanwhile Sidahrth kept looking at her.At the age of 38,in the world of glamour,he had his more than fair chance with women, and owing to his charms ,he had been a wooer all life long,an alluring womanizer ,to be surgical.He was a pro at casual dating ,at times he would not even know the names of women he did.To his defence ,it was always two consensual adults preferring their own style of dating,it was not harmful to anyone.Even in his ,small àmount of relationships that did manage to cross a few months duration,he had never felt the way he felt with Shehnaaz today.Surely ,intimacy was a wrong word for sex, what he had with Shehnaaz had felt intimate.In those moments he had realized that all his life he had been served a wrong game about intimacy, you could be all naked and yet not be intimate, because the intimacy he had felt today ,had stirred his soul.what ever had been etched into the fabric of his soul in Astral travel was revised ,like he had been spun across the time and matter.He thought oneness must really be true, because he had felt it today,being one with universe.Thats what soulmates must be capable of doing ,that's the reason they must be taking physical forms....to communicate oneness!
He looked at her face,all blushed up ,pink ;estrogen had done its work like a magician painting her all blushy.She was scrolling through her phone,when she noticed him paying her attention.
"This is satya...she was my roommate in college.For almost 6 yrs ,our bachelors, we lived in same room .Obviously friend bhi hai...almost family.Agr yeh nahi hoti na,kasam lage ek din nahi niklalta mera.She has seen me at Rockbottom.Kabhi kabhi toh yeh meko haath pakad k padhati thi.Honestly,bta rahi hu..she has given me so much love and supported me all along.Har exam me she would scold me and make me study,hum log k grades almost ek jaise the...both toppers type,but us ne mera bhot kia h!"
"She's your best friend?",he aksed ,just curious. Maybe wanting to know the old Shehnaaz.
"She and me are best friends...almost like samya....but i had another friend and I used to love her the most....soulmate friend types....i don't know,Satya loved me more,but dil toh dil haina.....heart wants what it wants."
She exclaimed ,meaning to ascertain both to herself and him.
"Pta ha...we have such crazy memories...ek baar hum log himachal me ek monastery tour pe gue the...college trip types...but madam ko pakk raha tha...she wanted to go out and booze.Toh she pulled this stunt.like all of us are standing and quietly listening to the monk,speak kuch toh pravachn, and there Satya walked right upto front,pretending to be drunk.She raised her left hand ,pointing a finger at the monk,and swayed it,saying..old monk ....on the rocks...Fuck behnchod...aankhe phat gyi hum log ki...laga aaj toh gye....she got our entire college trown out of monastery."
Sidharth was amazed listening this, He hated not knowing Shehnaaz then .The Shehnaaz he had met now, had taken so many blows ,that she was hardly the girl who could have been all the masti she would often talk about.She was a clearer, but scared person .she tried being strong,but was actually a scared little girl, who would easily sacrifice herself than fight.
"Babes....kal jana h teko mere saath yaad h na...packing kar liya?",he asked her.
"Hmm...i actually went to mall with Ria..and did some shopping."
" i hope you didn't buy fancy lingerie, while you went with my neice .", he wanted to tease. Sarcasm was his forte ,no one could defeat him there.
"I didn't know about your preferences...any think special, kinky?"
Sidharth knew Shehnaaz was not the kind that would shy from such a talk,she was capable enough of taking this further.He loved her all fiesty.
"Mom....roti paas karo.",,he said as all of them sat at dining table.To this Shehnaaz stood up, to pass it.This was becoming the new norm at Shuklas , all three of them eating together, while news would play in the background. ALL of it looked like some setup in a perfect harmony.
"Yeh ...sirf kaam karwae ga sana ....jitna jaldi yeh samajh me aa jae teri...utna better ha...nahi toh yeh....iska bas chale...bed me soe soe bole khana khila do....sambahl ja beta....nahin toh yeh toh life long apni sewa karwae ga."
Sidahrth felt a gush of emotions.He had never talked to lifelong with Shehnaaz, neither had she.Of course she loved him, and she had promised a forver wala love, but that had no promise of staying by the side for life.Her promise was metaphysical, beyond dimensions of this realm,but this realm?Could Shehnaaz and Sidahrth have a lifetime?.A Plain ,basic ,physical persistence for a lifetime. HE knew he wanted her, for this life with him, not only loving him, but with him.He knew she was the face he wanted to see last,before he left to another realm,but was that possible.? In a real world ,where she had barred him from opening speaking about loving her, "words last in universe for ever...space time has a memory...don't say in words....that would only hurt you",she had said;how would they have a lifetime.
"Ma aap so jao, I will do the dishes. "
"Chal thik ha..jaldi aaja baith k baate karte hai.",Rita told her.She considered Shehnaaz as an extension to family, to Sidahrth.,so family is not barred from household chores. This would bring the all a sense of belonging ,she knew.She was wise and mature enough to understand that some undercurrents were going on, with Shehnaaz. Shehnaaz needed Anchorage, and Rita very well knew how to provide it ,without letting Shehnaaz know.
Those who say ,women pull each other down ,must not have seen them push each other up.Beacuse women do, they feel for their collective kind more.And they reach out and support each other,the real women, the steel folk, that fights little battles every day. Shehnaaz was blessed in this regard ,she had been born to a very resilient woman ,a tough breed.Growing up ,she had her mother ,masi ,maami,all strong women ,who loved each other and more than that loved each other.Later as friends she got the best,her friends held each other's back at all costs, even her professors(females),they had all supported each other.shehnaaz had seen woman going out of their way to help each other.Even Harinder's mothet ,and now Rita,all of them were women of tough core, and Shehnaaz was bleesed to have learnt from them.
"Babes...ek baat poochu...",Sidahrth asked as he held her hand, tracing with his finger the scar of recent endeavor on her wrist.
"Hmm.",Shehnaaz knew this,they had come back without resolving their issues. This was coming,she had anticipated.
"Why did you cut yourself again?"
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