Misguided Ghosts

Chapter Twenty

Twenty – Ed

I looked from one to the other. Tay, her face the epitome of innocence and shock, her deep eyes wide and her lips slightly parted, my shirt hanging off her and her hair dishevelled. Caleb, his eyes narrowed while his face maintained a perfectly shocked expression, his curly hair woven into knots. I swallowed, grateful for the numbness that dwelled inside of me.

“Tay, can I talk to you?”

Tay got up from the floor, shooting a backwards glance at Caleb, almost apologetically. Why was she looking at him like that? What could she possibly apologise for? Was she apologising for me turning up, and ruining their moment?

We went into the kitchen and I shut the door behind us, placing the flowers, chocolate and the pathetic DVDs that I had brought with me on the sideboard, before leaning against the door heavily. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Edward Milligan, the human doorstop. I squeezed my eyes shut as I spoke the one sentence that I really didn’t want to say. The words felt like acid, drying out my mouth and threatening to burn my tongue if I didn’t get them out of my mouth. “Please tell me you didn’t,”    

Tay’s face crumpled, with boldness, confusion or regret, of which I wasn’t sure. “Of course I didn’t. Part of me thinks I should have, but I didn’t,”

“You really thought that?”

“For a second, just one single second, there was this moment. It was a moment where had it been you, then I would have kissed you. But it was him, so I didn’t,”

My stomach clenched. The only reason that she had felt like that was because she was in the presence of my soul, of everything that I should have been feeling and should have acted on. She had wanted to kiss him because she wanted me to be with her.

“Then what happened?” Why was I asking all of these questions?

She shrugged. “We went to sleep. He woke up and then I woke up. We came downstairs. I played Zelda, he asked if he could have a go, and then you showed up. That’s it, Ed. Nothing more, nothing less. Unbunch your panties.”

“They’re unbunched,” I mumbled, looking down at my scuffed shoes. “Does it help if I say I’m sorry?”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “A little. Can I see them?”

I held out my left arm, my palm facing the ceiling, displaying my handiwork. She walked towards me, apprehension filling every step she took. Tay’s eyebrows drew together slightly as she took in what I’d done and a soft cry slipped through her parted lips. Her fingertips trailed over each scab and cut, making me shiver slightly. As her fingers slid down my arm and into my hand, my fingers instinctively tightened around hers, holding her hand tight.

“No more,” She whispered, tears swimming in her eyes and choking her voice. “Please?”

I twisted her hand and kissed the knot on the first Bro Band she’d ever made: the one that she’d asked me to tie on. That band was my promise to her, and I was going to keep it. She turned her wrist and kissed the Bro Band that I wore, the one that she’d tied on as her promise to me. I prayed that even when I was an old man, that every single band would still be tied around my wrist, along with however many I had by then, and hers would still be tied around her wrist and we would reminisce about tying them on as we sat in our rocking chairs, surrounded by the libraries that we’d built up over the course of our lives together.

“Do you want me to teach you how to make these?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. That would be nice. And I’ll do you a deal.”