Misguided Ghosts

Chapter Nine

Nine - Ed

Long after I'd tucked Tay in and she'd fallen asleep, I was still awake. I sat up on my pillow, leaning against the headboard and hugging my knees to my chest. Every so often, I would look down and her sleeping form and know that I had made the right decision earlier. But that didn't make my loss any easier.

I didn't feel like myself. A huge part of me had been torn away, leaving me empty and half there. I'd also given Caleb a piece of me to torture whenever he got bored. I felt hollow, as if someone had just scooped out my insides. I kept expecting a wash of pain, or a shiver, for some kind of emotion to run through me, but nothing did. I just... Was.

I sighed and got out of bed, being careful to not disturb Tay. Grabbing the dictionary that perched precariously on her desk, I retreated out onto the landing and switched on the light, settling on the floor and resting my back against the wall. I flipped through it until I reached the S section. I turned the pages and ran my index finger down them until I found what I was looking for.

Soulless: lacking any humanizing qualities or influences; dead; mechanical, without nobleness of mind, lacking sensitivity.

I slammed the book closed and bit down on my left index finger to prevent myself from screaming. Lacking any humanizing qualities. But I still loved Tay. Why did I still feel that, if I no longer had a soul?

Because you gave up your soul for her, a small voice said in the back of my head.

"I'll fight for her," I muttered, gritting my teeth, making sure not to promise anything. My promises were what had led to this in the first place. Then I got up from the floor, switched off the light and headed back to bed.

The moment I settled under the covers, Tay instantly moved closer to me, her body moulding to mine. My arms slid around her waist, one of my hands resting on her hip, the other on top of it.

"Ed, go to sleep," She mumbled.

"I thought you were asleep," I whispered, kissing her cheek.

"You woke me up," She said sleepily, shifting so she was facing me and buried her face in my chest.

"I'm sorry," I said, running a hand over her hair. "Go back to sleep."

She didn't need telling twice. Soon enough, she was asleep again and I followed her minutes later.

In my dream, Caleb stood in a room with rough stone walls and candles burning in brackets, cradling my soul in his hands. It was impossible to tell where he was.

Fly away, I thought.

In his hands, the dove struggled, but then gave up. Clearly, fighting wasn't an option. But then his hands opened and my soul flew away, singing happily about its newfound freedom.

Then the dove flew into the wall. No. It was pushed by an unseen force that was obviously Caleb's doing. It flailed and beat its wings, frantically trying to escape whatever was holding it against the wall. Caleb smiled maliciously and snapped his fingers.

The dove's wings burst into fire and a keening wail fell from its beak. As though they were made of paper, they blackened and furled, darkened feathers falling to the floor. Then Caleb blew softly in the direction of the dove and the flames went out. The dove tumbled to the floor.

"Ed!" Tay shook me awake. "Ed!"

My arms instantly found her waist and I pulled her close to me, burying my face in her neck. It was taking all my effort to not whimper in fear. It should have felt like my chest was on fire and even breathing was difficult. I found little comfort in the fact that those feelings didn't exist within me. Only Tay's warm, slender body brought me any real comfort.