Misguided Ghosts

Chapter Eleven

Eleven– Tay

“Taylor!”

My father’s voice broke the silence of the house and the peaceful stupor that I had sunk into. Ed lifted his head from my shoulder and sighed, making my hair flutter.

“Get down here!”

I sighed heavily and heaved myself out of bed, shoving my laptop to the side and ignoring Ed’s soft protests.

“Taylor, here, now!”

What was I, a dog?

I left the safety of my room and headed downstairs, where my father was standing at the base of the stairs. He was puce in the face from shouting up the stairs and his beady eyes were flashing with anger.

“Where is he?” He spat.

“Where’s who?” I said, frowning in confusion.

“You honestly have the cheek to ask who I’m talking about? Where is Edward?!”

“He’s upstairs…” I said in a small voice. “Dad, what’s going on?”

“I think the question is more of what’s gone on,” Dad growled. “And your clothes seem to say it all,”

I then realised what I was wearing. Ed’s shirt. Ed’s boxers. Oh God. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to make it all go away. “Dad, I know what this looks like,”

“He’s ruined you,” My father’s voice was a deadly whisper. “I don’t even recognise you,”

My desperation turned to anger. “You don’t recognise me? You’re the one that’s been in Nice, sunning yourself on the beaches, not giving a damn about me, when I was barely alive,” The colour drained from my father’s face. “That’s right. I know where you were. Believe it or not, Dad, I’m not stupid.”

I turned on my heel and walked up the stairs as calmly as I could. I slammed the door behind me and collapsed against the back of it, sinking to the floor, sobs racking my body. Ed was beside me in an instant, pulling me close to him, the warmth of his body radiating against me. I rested my head against his chest and felt every ounce of strength that I had tried to work up crumble.

“They think I slept with you,” I choked out between sobs.

Ed tensed. He exhaled sharply, trying to clear the tension from his body. I began to cry more and more and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t even understand why I was crying, or what had led my father to the conclusion that I’d slept with Ed. 

“They’re wrong,” Ed said through clenched teeth.

“Why does he dislike you so much?” I sniffled, trying to stop the flow of tears. “What happened?”

“I may have… Snapped at him the night you woke up. I said that he treated you like a slave and he was going to let you die. But your Dad and I have never been the best of friends.”

I sighed again, feeling a rush of relief as I realised that the tears had stopped. “Why do they do this to me?”

Ed kissed the top of my head. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

We remained huddled against the door for a long time, stopping either of my parents from entering. I rested my head against his bare shoulder and did my very best to relax.

Rest, the doctor had said. Some rest I’d got.

Ed picked me up and carried me over to my bed, shoving my already disregarded laptop to the side. He leaned against the headboard and hugged me tightly while I attempted to get some kind of a grip. It was almost like my parents only did the parent-act whenever Ed was around, assuming I’d slept with my boyfriend and God knows what else.

But there was one thing I couldn’t push to the back of my mind. Ed. All day, he’d been acting weirdly. It was like someone had just pulled out all the emotion from him. While he held me as tightly as he could, not once did he utter some words of comfort, like he always had done whenever something had upset me to the point of tears. I was fairly sure that I wasn’t one to cry easily, and for someone that didn’t cry a lot, I’d done an awful lot of crying lately.  What had happened to him? What had changed? What had I missed? I was certain that something had happened, that something was aloof, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I raised my head and looked into Ed’s eyes, expecting to see some kind of emotion glimmering in his pale irises, ready to comfort me just by looking at me. But there was nothing, not even in the very depths of his eyes.

“Please say something,” I whispered.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked, just as quietly. “I’m not going to lie to you,”

“Anything,” I begged, trying to stop yet more goddamn tears from escaping.

He kissed my temple. “Soon enough, all of this pain, this angst, none of it is going to matter. Everything is going to sort itself out. And you know why? Because I am never, ever going to leave you.”

“You promise?” I asked, frantically searching for some kind of hope in the fear I found myself surrounded with.

Ed’s bottom lip trembled slightly, as if he was afraid of making a promise. His eyebrows fought against themselves, struggling not to be drawn together and he sank his teeth into the soft skin of his pink lips. Then, finally, he nodded.

I lowered my head back down to his chest, but as I did so, I saw his head jerk up, as if an invisible noose had snapped around his neck and was holding him to his words.

***

That night, after Ed had gone home, I lay in bed awake, staring at the ceiling. My school stuff was shoved haphazardly in my bag, which was at the foot of my bed. I knew that I shouldn’t have been going to school, but I wanted to. I couldn’t stay at home forever. I needed some structure back in my life, and the only way I was going to get that was by returning to school, the place where I was ostracized for no apparent reason, other than the fact I was different. I didn’t have quite the right friends, or the right kind of family, or the right kind of look. Cheltenham College thrived on rumours, who was dating who, and in making sure that a private life never remained private for long.

I gritted my teeth and rolled over, trying to think about anything other than Ed and school.

Bands, I thought, smiling. Think bands. Band members. Band merch. All those lovely band members.

But it was no use. Without Ed, who was an expert on getting me to sleep, I was a nocturnal creature. I walked the silent rooms of the house, drifting from one place to another, not really taking any notice of where I was or what I was doing until I was in the kitchen, sobbing bitterly into a bowl of ice cream.

I eventually stopped weeping long enough to finish my ice cream and crawl my way back to bed. I hugged Ed’s pillow and tried to pretend he was there, but it didn’t work. It wasn’t like my bed was any bigger without him, or there was too much duvet. It was like he’d got up to get a glass of water and he’d forgotten to come back. And that made all the difference in the world. 

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Bleh guys I'm not too sure on how much I like this chapter, but you might feel differently about it... Anyhoo, the next chapter should be better than this one! 

xoxo Cat