Misguided Ghosts

Chapter Thirty

Thirty – Tay

Caleb’s necklace felt like a bomb in my pocket as I trudged home, kicking my scuffed shoes across the pavement. What was I meant to do with it? Should I wear it, or just hang it somewhere it would look pretty? If Ed saw me wearing it, then he would be so crushed that it was something from Caleb. But if I didn’t wear it, wouldn’t that offend Caleb? I ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out the drum beat behind the Blink-182 song that I was listening to. A small smile twitched my lips as I remembered the night that Ed and I saw them.

“You ready?” He asked, gripping my hand and grinning like a fool.

“Of course,” I smiled, kissing his cheek. “Thank you so, so much,”

We hitched a lift to Birmingham with some friends of Ed’s parents, whose 12-passenger van was currently like a haven – we would have a bench each to sleep on, complete with blankets and pillows, while the adults, Laura and Steven, took it in turns driving back to Cheltenham.

Ed and I had only been dating for four months, but it had felt like forever, and I was happier than I had been in a long time.  My cuts were healing, and it had been ages since I’d last picked up a razor blade and pressed it to my skin. We ran inside the Birmingham NEC, our hands entwined and laughing.

 “Hey!” A guard shouted. “No running!”

We slowed our pace and wiggled our way through the crowd, trying to get as close to the front as possible.

The first two acts, Twin Atlantic and The All-American Rejects passed in a blur of euphoric jumping, singing and shouting. While we were waiting for Blink-182, I held my camera above Ed and I, taking our photo, our eyes and skin shining underneath the flash of the camera. As the lights dipped once more, the venue came into being with deafening chanting and screaming.

 Never before had I felt so alive.

During the van ride home, as I was drifting off to sleep, Ed poked his head over the back of the seats he was sleeping on. I gave him a sleepy smile and reached out a hand. He held it and squeezed gently.

He didn’t let go until I’d fallen asleep.

I stood in the driveway to my house, wondering how I’d got there without getting run over or badly injured. Taking tentative steps, I walked up the driveway, suddenly feeling very small. A pit settled in my stomach. That was it. I wouldn’t be able to see Ed until further notice. My parents would attempt to keep me under house arrest, and I would most probably submit to them because I was scared of my father.

Opening the door quietly, I did my best not to announce my presence to my parents. Sadly, they already knew I was there. As I turned into the hallway after shutting the door, I came face-to-face with the disapproving stares of my parents.   

“Nice to see you,” I said in a deadpan voice, trying to build up a wall to hide behind.

“We could say the same to you,” My mother countered.

I bit my lip, preventing myself from shouting at them. They spent days away at a time, dropping it on me, and then had the nerve to prevent me from seeing one of the people that I felt cared about me. I sure as hell felt like they didn’t care about me. I was just another mouth to feed, another person to room, so I fed myself once I was old enough to be left on my own.

“Taylor, we are very disappointed in you,” Dad said slowly. “We thought better of you,”

I arched an eyebrow. “Why, because I spent one night away from home?”