Misguided Ghosts

Chapter Five

Five – Ed

“Are you awake?”

My voice sounded unnervingly loud in the quiet of her room. Tay rolled under her duvet to face me in my nest of blankets and pillows on the floor. Her presence, so extraordinary and wonderful, seemed to fill her room and press against my very being. I didn’t think I would ever be able to sleep in the same room as her again.

“Yeah,” She said softly. “I’m exhausted and my body won’t let me sleep.”

I wanted to go over and comfort her, but I didn’t know how. How did you comfort someone who’d just come out of a coma? Maybe I should never have convinced the doctors to let us leave the hospital. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already have.”

“Can I ask you two questions, then?”

“You already have.”

I groaned and grabbed one of my cushions, hurling it through the air. It sailed through the moonlight of her room and landed harmlessly beside her head. “I’d forgotten how much of a smartarse you are.”  

I saw the glimmer of Tay’s teeth as she smiled in the darkness. “Okay, I’ll play. What’s up?”

“You died.” I said, realising it was a statement and not a question, like I’d originally intended. But I could hear the interest in my voice and felt tension sweep through my body as the words left my lips. Tay slid down, deeper into her duvet as if she was hiding from my words.

“I don’t know,” She said in a hushed voice. “Without those machines, I would have died a lot sooner.”

“So why did your parents sign the paperwork?”

There was a sharp intake of breath. Perhaps I’d said too much.  Why did I say that? She had just woken up and now I was telling her that she might have died because her good-for-nothing parents had made the choice to switch the machines off.

Then, there was a soft, sniffling sound. I watched Tay’s body curl up into a ball, as if she was trying to hold herself in. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her, but tonight, I was afraid of breaking her. She had seemed so fragile in the hospital bed, even more so in her own bed. “Do you miss them?” I whispered.

She crawled out from under the duvet. Tay took some slow, shaky breaths before answering. “No. Yeah. I don’t know. It makes me feel… Sick. The thought that they were willing to just let me die. I feel like I don’t belong here.”

Sounds familiar. Tay’s parents had never liked the thought of their daughter having a boyfriend.  They took as little notice of me as possible, along with their daughter. I knew how many nights Tay had spent by herself before I’d met her, doing her homework and cooking the meals.

“But this is me!” Tay said defiantly, jerking her chin to gesture to her body. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince me or herself. Then she began to cry again. In a tear choked voice, she added, “Come up here and talk to me. You’ll hurt your neck if you stay down there.”

“What about your parents?” I asked, my mind jumping to the consequences. I had always been wary of her parents, despite the fact that they were never around.

“Ed, it’s three in the morning. Just get in. I trust you to behave and to not hog the sheets.” She groaned. Then, in a slightly curious tone, she added, “We have shared a bed before, haven’t we?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “Yeah, we have.”

“Have we…?” Her voice trailed off, letting the silence end her question.