Thirty

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Kavin, holding a Wii mote with a knife attached: Are Wii gonna have a problem?
MJ, bringing out his switch remote with a blade: You best switch up that attitude.
-An hour later...-
Thyme, in the ambulance: Wii-U! Wii-U! Wii-U!
Ren: I hate this fcking family.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Talay: Did you take out Thyme as I requested?
Y/N: Thyme has been taken out, yes.
Talay: You have my grat-
Y/N: It was a great restaurant.
Y/N: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.
Y/N: Thyme proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.
MJ: Anyways, you said Y/N is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Gorya: Hey Kavin, do you wanna help us?
Kavin: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme All of your existences are confusing.
Ren, Kavin, and MJ: How so?
Thyme: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Gorya: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.
Glakao, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
Kavin: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.
Thyme: Who's fcking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
Ren: Your lover thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Ren: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Y/N: *raises hand*
Kavin: *puts their hand down*

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Gorya: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ: You use humor to deflect your trauma.
Y/N: Awww, thanks-
MJ: That’s not a good thing.
Y/N: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme: I got an idea!
Ren: Does it involve breaking the law?
Thyme: By now don’t you think that’s a given?
Ren: I was just trying to be optimistic.
Thyme: Don’t bother.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Kavin: I don't see the big deal. Why can't people just ask people out without all the fuss?
Y/N: Well, you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach, y'know?
Kavin: Digest them.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Kaning: What part of your morning routine takes the longest?
Y/N: Deciding to get up.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Y/N: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Kavin: Bonjour.
Thyme: Le growl.
MJ: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Cop: You ran a red light.
Thyme: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Thyme: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Ren: Would you slap Thyme-
Y/N: Yes.
Ren: I didn't even finish!
Y/N: Sorry, continue.
Ren: Would you slap Thyme for 10 dollars?
Y/N: I would do it for free.
Thyme: Rude...

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ: Y/N has no idea I’m high.
Y/N: You’re high?
MJ: Oh, I’m sorry.
MJ, leaning over to Kavin: Y/N has no idea I’m high.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Ren: Why is my name "beef" on your phone?
Y/N: Y'know.... like bf.....

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Kaning: You have to apologize to them Kavin.
Kavin: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme: Hey, do you have a boyfriend?
Y/N: Yeah.
Thyme: Hope he dies.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Gorya: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme: What is this!?
Y/N: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.
Thyme: Ow! Make it stop!
Y/N: Surrender to your kindness, Thyme. It’s nice to be nice.
Thyme: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: Your smile? It makes my day.
Ren: Your happiness? I live for that.
Kavin: A room? Get one.
MJ: Hotel? Trivago.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Thyme: If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You'll still probably die but the shark will be like "lol what"

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ: You know you can die from that, right?
Kavin: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.
Thyme: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.
Ren: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: How does one turn their emotions off?
Gorya: Okay, so first go to settings...
Y/N:
Gorya: I'm a fcking idiot. I thought that said emojis at first.
Y/N: No, I'm still willing to try this. Go ahead, I'm at settings, what do I do next?

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Kavin: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.
MJ: Rock.
Kavin: Paper.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: Met a dumbass today. Awful.
Kavin: You looked in a mirror?
Y/N: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: Message to all men...
Y/N: Start meowing.
MJ: Is this a joke?
Y/N: No. Start Meowing.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

MJ, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Y/N: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Thyme's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

*̊˙˚˙⑅*❀❀*⑅。・:*。・:*

Kavin: If MJ and I were drowning, who would you save?
Ren: You two can’t swim?
Kavin: It’s a hypothetical question, Ren! Who would you save?
Ren: My time and effort.

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