Just my cup of tea

Up high in the sky

Alice's POV

* announcement*

Flight KA7734 to Dubai International Airport boarding at gate 201, passengers please get ready.

I watch people line up in a long line that stretches all the way along the many rows of seats at the boarding gate. I decide to wait till the line grows shorter. My mind starts drifting, wondering about where all these people are headed to. Dubai is usually a stop destination to another place. I see a young boy trying to guide his little sister while his parents peek back with bags in each hand,  couples excitedly showing each other pictures of places they want to see and an elderly couple holding hands whilst softly chatting. They all have a plan, a new journey waiting ahead for them. So do I.

My new adventure ahead filled with all the possibilities of the world. The places I would see, people I would meet and food I would try all filled me with an urgency to just begin anew. I didn't cry when I said goodbye to my friends and family. After these past few months I had no tears left in me anymore. So I was filled with hope for the future from the tips of my toes right up to the spikes in my hair.

But all this hope couldn't completely cover up that hidden feeling I had desperately buried at the base of my heart, glued down with ignorance and fear. It scrapped at the seems trying to claw it's way back out and fill my heart again. Only a tiny drop seeped through and I found myself thinking for just a second that all this promise of a new exciting adventurous life would be so much better with her.

In that instant I shot up and headed towards the boarding gate as though crossing this point would completely seal my hidden feeling forever.

I found my seat and got comfortable. The air hostesses were walking up and down ensuring that our table trays are up and seatbelts on. My phone started vibrating, I thought it would be Hales or one of my family members checking if I had boarded already but I saw a number I didn't recognize. "Excuse me miss, sorry phones need to be switched off for take off." Oh well, most likely call centres trying to make a sale. "Sure thing, sorry about that." I declined the call and switched my phone off, made myself comfortable and waited for my future to start.

I woke up to some turbulence with a stiff neck and a numb foot. I decided to take a walk down the aisle to loosen up a bit. Luckily for me everyone else was still snoozing. As I walked along the aisle I spotted someone reading Hemingway's The old man and the sea. I made a mental note to write a list of books I still have not read when suddenly I thought of the book I haven't finished writing. Would I ever be able to complete it? It's a story that should be told. I think I'll give her a happy ending. The one she's always wanted, it's the only way I can give her the happy ending she's always wanted. The idea of that made me smile. It brought back meaning to the book itself. I felt a strange urge building up inside me. This is what it felt like to have Kate as my muse, a desire to create something with meaning. I then mentally slapped myself.

What am I doing? I just left all this back at the boarding gate and here I am letting the thought of her so easily slip out? Will she always be a part of me? Maybe if I finish the book I can finally put that part to rest? Or is that just a scapegoat of a thought to  ensure myself that I can put her behind me. Another mental slap. Pull it together already. It's been all of four hours on this plane and into my new journey and I've already slipped up and allowed myself to think of her. Focus, focus and just go back to your seat and read. Yes that will get me back on track.

After two hours of reading my eyes become heavy and soon I'll succumb to sleep. I rest my head next to the window and look out at the pink and orange clouds. They really do look like cotton candy.  

 *Enter dream mode

I look up and see a cloud floating passed as the vapours glide up and absorb into them. I take another hit and turn to my right and see Kate smiling as she traces the shapes with her fingers forming above us. I exhales the smoke towards her and she fades away with the smoke. I sit up and look around, she's dancing on a cloud in the distance. She's always been a dancing queen. She turns to look at me and calls me over. I leap from the cloud i'm on to reach her but it seems there are endless puffs in front of me. I can't reach her. I wave my hands around in an attempt to see more clearly. The smoke fades and she stands right in front of me. Her lips part a little and I'm pulled in on instinct to ever so gently press mine against it. We both pause just before we can complete the kiss. A fire builds inside my stomach and flows around my body. "Idiot," she whispers and I wake up. No no go back, go back to sleep, come back I think in a sleepy haze. "Sorry Miss, what would you like to eat?"

I'm caught off guard as the air hostess gestures towards the food tray. "Oh, um yes what are the options?" "We have beef or chicken with rice." How classic, "I'll have the chicken thanks." She hands me my food but it spends the next two hours just laying on my tray. Why do my dreams always have to feel so real and why do I always remember them. Most people forget the second they awake but oh not me, no my dreams have to seep into me and force me to feel everything all of again as though it were a memory. 

"Who's Kate? Is she the reason you have not touched your chicken?" I looked over next to me and there sat a guy in his mid thirties probably. "Yeah I'm not going to even dude, thanks for asking though." I guess I must have been talking in my sleep. Great, yet another dumb thing to add to my dumbass "perks". of dreaming. You know what, I'm just going to have to be more tough on myself. Enough is enough I mentally said to myself. From this moment on, no matter how much I think of her, dream of her or miss her I vow to not talk about her to anyone else ever again. And the book, well this is it for the book. Abrupt ending, just like ours. No ending at all.