Something I can handle

I thought things got better

Well where we last left off .... I really didn't think could get any better then having a best friend who was really there for me through everything .

we were best friends from the beginning of sixth grade all the way to my ninth grade year .  That's four years ! 
I thought I knew everything about him  he didn't like to make promises , he loved video games , he was crazy smart when it came to technology , he could hack just about everything , he was funny but if you didn't know him he seemed really grumpy , he was sweet when he wanted to be , his favorite  color was red

But in all honesty.... I really didn't know him at all
I didn't know his birthday , I didn't know about his family , I didn't even know exactly what his age was just knew that it ranged between my age or a year older .

I didn't know any of the important things  , I just knew he was there for me when I thought no one else  was ... but that's mainly because I was going through a time where I wasn't quite secure in my relationship with God .

Anyway as your usual bestfriend story goes I realized a few weeks into 2013  that I had developed feelings for my best friend ...
So naturally after telling him everything for four years , I told him my new realization ...

To my surprise he admitted to having feelings for me from day one but didn't want to mess up our friendship .

we didn't really act on our feelings at the time because I was only 14 and my parents didn't want me dating .

Valentine's Day of 2013 , he was in a really good mood and We were talking when I said 'D promise me' ...But then  I remembered my bestfriend didn't promise things because he didn't want to risk breaking them so I quickly typed 'nevermind you don't promise things ' 

You would imagine my complete and utter surprise when my bestfriend/crush who never promises anything says 'I promise ' !

So automatically assuming with it being Valentine's Day and him being in such a chipper mood it had to be the influence of a girl ... I was kinda jealous , I thought he liked me and I wanted to know what girl had such a effect on him ....
so I asked him why he all of a sudden does promises ,what changed ,who was the lucky girl and what was the special  occasion, trying my hardest to hide my slight jealous sting ... he answered me ...

your the special girl and the occasion is talking to you ....

my heart , it melted completely ... that's it I was gone ... I couldn't hold back anymore ,I was head over heels , little school girl giggling , in absolute love with this boy ... and this was different for me cause I am a total tomboy ...
never care what people thought ... always walking around bare foot ... and the only reason for makeup was because I don't want to scare anyone with my natural horrid face ( again very insecure ) ....
it was a different feeling to all of a sudden start dressing up just in case I ran into him ... putting on makeup to send him pictures just to see that " my beautiful girl " text light up my phone screen ... it's like I was in heaven ... only problem was ..... we started dating over the phone via text and call ... without my parents permission .. intentionally hiding it from them ... because they just wouldn't understand how I need to be in a relationship with him ... how much I loved him ... how this was really ok cause we were gonna get married and have a life together ...
But I kept thinking well if God loves me he will let this happen ... he will help me keep this a secret .... boy was I in the wrong ....

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Ok guys feel free to leave comments ...

Lord thank you again for helping out of a bad situation because I know if it wasn't for you things could have been worse .

Amen ,

Aly