She has ice in her veins, they are frozen in time.
Will love thaw the frozen heart or will the saw break on contact?
Can the coldest beings connect and trust or will they freeze each other out like everyone else?
----
Noelle Swan, twin sister of I...
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How long have you been hiding your pain? since I've been told I have a beautiful smile...
Noelle Swan
As I walk through the bustling airport of Seattle, I notice the different peoples at the airport. The suits, the fanny packs, the matching hoodie sets, the peace-loving hippies I wonder where I fit in all of them? Am I the corporate women? Or the single mom? Am I young 20 year old with a fresh degree? Or am I just lonely?
SHUT UP!
My inner monologue screamed. Suddenly there was this screeching sound echoing through the dark corners of my mind, it was something like a shard of glass being dragged along another glass surface. The screech was so loud, I wanted to scream right here and fall to the floor and cry but I couldn't, not here, not with all these people around.
I found the nearest wall and leaned on it, holding my leather covered palm to my head as if I encountered nothing but a minor headache and not a invisible force continuously screaming in my mind.
Suddenly, in all the pain and screams I hear a voice. A kind voice. A voice that has always soothes me when I was lost and alone. A voice that found me when I was floating six feet under the cold, murky waters.
The voice drives me back to that day, to that dark, life-altering day:
Ella! Ella! Try to breathe honey! Honey, don't you dare give me up on me...ELLAAAAAA
"Ella?"
I looked up from the ground and there he is. Charlie.
"Hi dad." I throw my arms around and hug him with all my might. I haven't seen this man in years, darned be whatever that might keep from the few moments of contact with my own damn father.
"Hey kiddo, you okay there? Kinda asphyxiating me."
"Sorry, I just...just haven't seen you in a while I guess."
"I missed you too baby...come on it's a long way to Forks and we have a lot of catching up to do"
That's what I liked about Charlie. He didn't hover. He never skirted around anything on his mind. In other words Charlie was Charlie and against what Mom thinks, it wasn't his fault. That accident wasn't HIS fault.
Charlie took my bag from my hand and we started to walk side-by-side towards his cruiser, I'm assuming that's what he came in with.
"I'm dying to ask, where is Isabelle?" I let the pronunciation roll of my tongue as a sign of distaste.
"Honey, BELLA, is at home right now probably catching up on some homework or something that kids do these days."
"Yes, I know, ISABELLA is in Forks High School. What joy that period is!"
I knew at this point this was no longer a casual conversation but a battle: ISABELLE VS BELLA.
Neither of us said anything. Of course! Classic Charlie, never speaking when he is uncomfortable and I never speak more than I have to. If I had someone I'd bet a good five dollars on who I think would talk first.
"Ellie, she is your sister, I can never figure whatever happened between you two and yeah, yeah before you give me the whole shebang will you please for the love of your dear, old dad try to work with your sister, BELLA??
Well, well guess who is five dollars richer. Charlie won this round with his overly emotional blackmailing speech but I just never can stand up to him, call me a coward will you.
"Yeah, fine".
"Thank you," Charlie inhaled a long breath as if unbeknownst to the snow storm about to go off by the reunion of the Swan twins.
"So, dear OLD dad?? Guess who finally admitted it!"
"Okay, shut it and get in the damn car, starving over here!" Charlie basically shooed me towards the car. This was the little moment I cherished in my life. The peaceful ones, where no one is screaming, where I'm not constantly chanting, where everything is as it should be.
But not all is made to last because as soon as Charlie started his car, it was back. It was haunting me. It was as if it knew I was relishing the peace. The screech, the blood-curdling screech.
GOD. Please, please
Please
"Heyy...uhm..Charlie?"
"Yeah? Jesus Christ you've gone white, are you okay?" What happened? Ellie?"
"It's okay, probably blood pressure or something but I am going to take my pills and they are gonna knock me out for a little bit so just wake me up when we get home."
"You sure? There is a very good doctor on town we can go or the clinic-
"Yeah I'm sure" and I chug the water with the white pills.
"Just wake me up."
Well so much for catching up on long memories in the car ride. This always happened. Something is going good and then it is ruined by none other than my own damn self.
Everything is always ruined. Everything. Everything core memory has to always somehow be cut short. It's infuriating.
The pills are working, it's getting calmer, not bearable but calmer. It will get better when I get home oh but who can forget the clumsy, walking mood ring that I unfortunately have to call sister.
God, when did shit hit the ceiling and when did someone turn it on and when did the mode was set to high?
I can feel it now, slowly drifting off to Neverland, drifting away from my problems, away from reality.
