Refuge (Vampire Diaries/ Teen Wolf)

Chapter 23

I stare intently at my reflection in my bathroom mirror. My face is extremely flushed and my lips slightly swollen. I suppose this is what you'd look like after being kissed. Turning on the faucet I splash some cold water on my face. The idiot just got right out of my car and into his house after kissing me. No explanation. Like what the hell?

"Lily." Jeremy comes into my bathroom without asking. I smile up at him fondly. It's just like old times. Sometimes I wish that I was back in Mystic Falls with Elena now that Jeremy's back. All of us together again. "You should go to whatever silly dance your school is having tonight!" He exclaims.

"What? Why?"

"With the state of your health... Lily you haven't been to a school dance before. You should seize the opportunity." He states, eyes full of sadness but also hope and encouragement.

"Jeremy... What if something bad happens though?"

"It's going to happen eventually." He says honestly. "That boy you like is going isn't he?"

"He's going with Lydia." I say trying not to show my disappointment. then again from what happened in my car earlier....

"But you forced him to." He states with a smirk. "And from the blush on your face it's only safe to assume something happened between the two of you." He studies my face before frowning. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't want to leave him." I tell my brother with tears in my eyes. "If I go to the dance I'll be giving myself up to him and I can't do that. I can't make him feel things for me only to rip them away!"

"He wouldn't be mad if you did." He says softly.

"I can't do that to him. He needs to forget any feelings for me and move on. It's not worth the pain."

"Vicki, Anna, and Bonnie." Jeremy says quietly. "I loved all of them so much. I lost all of them to death. Lily I wouldn't take back any of the time I spent with them. It hurt." He pauses to catch his breath. "God it still hurts so badly but holding them in my arms and being able to love them was everything to me. If I had the chance I would do it all again. All of the pain. I would welcome it. Because not getting the chance to be with them would hurt far more. You might think it's better for you to ignore his feelings for you but it's not. Not for him." My face is wet with tears as I start to sob.

"I'm scared Jeremy! I think I love him!" He wraps his arms around me in a loving embrace. My mind is a jumbled mess like a puzzle with a missing piece. I'm so aware of everything and the answer is obvious but I just I can't comprehend anything. It's likely my thought are a wave crashing and crashing against a cliff. Pointless. Too large and too strong for any sense to come of it.

I feel myself start to calm and lean my weight on his. "I love him." I whisper, one last tear falling.

"Then you need to go tell him." I shake my head against his chest.

"It's so hard!" I sniffle. He releases me and looks into my eyes. His fingers run across my wet cheeks in an attempt to dry them. A somber smile gracing his lips.

"It's not really. It may seem like it now but once you find him I'm sure the words will come out on their own accord." I smile up at him gratefully.

"I couldn't live right without you Jeremy." All the time he was gone, I now realize, was never quite right. Having a twin means having a connection so deep to another person that you need them to fill your lungs with air and your soul with comfort. Being with them makes your ideas better and the world a brighter place. Guilt floods me as I realize that soon I'm going to be leaving Jeremy alone. He gives me a forced smile seeming to have the same thoughts as me.