Star Wars: Secrets of the Jedi (AU)

Chapter One

"Married?" Anakin asked quietly, his tone of voice betraying his shock. "How can you be married?"

Obi-Wan smiled a bit at his stunned apprentice. "The same as you, Anakin, I fell in love and..." he started, but was immediately cut off.

"No!" Anakin yelled. "You can't be married, Master. You don't break the Code, ever. You're always following the rules and telling me what I'm doing wrong."

Obi-Wan sighed deeply. "Anakin, I didn't...don't want you to make the same mistakes as I have; that's why I point out things you do wrong and that's why I didn't tell you the truth years ago. I didn't want to set a bad example for you."

Anakin scoffed. "That's not why. You're a hypocrite, Master. You've spent every day since I became your apprentice telling me to follow the Code, to not let my personal feelings cloud my judgment. I can't do that and you knew all along that I couldn't. You knew that I wasn't capable of being a model Jedi and you were afraid of how that reflected back on you. That's why you tell me everything I do wrong."

Obi-Wan wasn't surprised by Anakin's outburst. In fact, he had expected it, and more from the young man.

"Anakin, listen to me," he began. "You're right, I am a hypocrite. I've spent the last ten years warning you against the very same pitfalls, the same attachments and feelings I myself have. That's not fair to you, and I'm sorry."

Anakin was momentarily taken aback. "Why?" the young Jedi asked finally, his voice harsh and his normally warm glowing eyes suddenly very cold.

Obi-Wan ran a hand through his shoulder-length hair. "Like I said before, I had hoped to steer you away from making the same mistakes that I have made in my life, both as a man and as a Jedi."

"So falling in love and being married has been a mistake for you, Master?" Anakin wanted to know.

Obi-Wan considered his next words carefully before speaking. "No, it hasn't been a mistake by any means. I love my wife Anakin, but my life as a Jedi, and hers as well, haven't allowed us much time together at all. Our lives have been filled with secrets and deceptions and lies. Stolen moments here and there, shared looks across crowded rooms or spaceports; that's what our marriage has been, Anakin. We've been separated far more often than we've ever been together. Longing is a constant part of my daily existence. I long to be with her and I simply can't. Our lives as Jedi don't allow time for anything but being a Jedi."

"Sounds awful," Anakin commented in a soft voice.

Obi-Wan nodded. "It is awful, Padawan, and I had hoped you would never have to experience it for yourself, but it seems my hope has been dashed."

Suddenly, Anakin's blue eyes widened. "She's a Jedi, your wife?" he inquired.

"Yes, she's a Jedi," Obi-Wan said. "She broke the Code the same as I did, because she loves me as much as I love her."

Anakin sighed deeply. He walked a few yards away before turning around moments later. "You lied to me, Master. I've always believed that you were the perfect Jedi, and now I find out the complete opposite is true."

"I'm not perfect, Padawan," Obi-Wan explained. "I'm far from perfect. I'm simply human, and a man. It took more than half my life for me to realize that being a man and being human have overpowered being a Jedi."

"As they have in my life, Master. I love Padme with my whole heart and soul," Anakin confessed. "She doesn't make me weak, she gives me strength. With her by my side, I feel like I can face my future without having to be afraid. She pushes the darkness away."

"I can understand that, Padawan. As I said, I am not going to inform the Council of your marriage," Obi-Wan told him again.

"Thank you," Anakin breathed, immensely relieved.