Natasha Romanoff One-shots

Til it's gone 🥺

Original oneshot from @wandaromanova from tumblr

Link to tumblr: https://wandaromanova.tumblr.com/post/652966678877159424/till-its-gone

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Y/N are mentor and mentee turned lovers. Their relationship is smooth sailing until the blip. Then suddenly, everything changes.

Warnings: cussing, death, natasha being an asshole?

Word Count: 4.4k

You were just a S.H.I.E.L.D agent in training when you first met Natasha. You were apart of the ground of trainees that she was tasked to train. When you first met her, you were shitting yourself. She was a LEGEND. She's the Black Widow. You've heard many stories about the missions she had succeeded in as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and an Avenger. Everyone knew who she was and she was the best of the best. You knew you had to absorb every single thing she taught you like a sponge.
You knew she was beautiful. You'd seen her on television many times, but videos and news coverage didn't do the woman justice. Her eyes were a shade of green that you could easily get lost in. Her red hair complimented her skin tone perfectly. Her body.... my god was she beautiful. It's no wonder she was able to seduce her targets. She was sex on legs.
Although she was the spitting image of grace, she was quite the opposite with her training style. She was absolutely ruthless. You guys would spend hours open hours working on things from combat training to working a gun. Although you felt like you were dying, you knew that this was what it takes to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Your life, as well as the lives of others depended on you as an agent. You needed to be the best you could be, no complaints.
You were the only trainee who didn't complain about Natasha's way of training. Nat took notice of this and immediately took a liking to you. You didn't take the easy way out, you did everything properly and wouldn't stop until you perfected whatever was being taught. Natasha saw a bit of herself in you if she was being honest. So, Natasha took it upon herself to train you privately as well.
"I see something in you that I don't see in the others." Natasha throws her gloves on the ground behind her before she turns back to face you. "Determination. You don't just WANT to be here, you NEED to be here. An agent." Natasha says as she stares at your shocked expression.
"You're simply meant to be an agent. I can see the way you carry yourself and you don't take the easy way out. You have your shit together." Natasha finished as she bent under the rope of the fighting ring and made her way onto the floor of the gym.
You follow suit and stand right in front of her. "I've always wanted to make a difference. I can do that as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Thank you for taking me in." You express gratefully as you look down to the floor and back up to the woman in front of you.
"Don't thank me. You're the one doing all the hard work. I'm sure it'll pay off for you in the long run." Natasha gives you a small smile before she makes her way toward the exit. She suddenly stops and turns around to face you where you still stood.
"I'm starving. Want to grab something to eat?" Natasha asks you. If you didn't know better, you would've thought she was nervous. That was nonsense though, shes Natasha Romanoff. She's never nervous.
"Yeah! Sure!" You let out a little too desperately as you go to the side of the gym to grab your gym bag. You stalk your way over to Natasha as you both make your way out of the gym together.
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1 year later
A year later, you were officially recruited as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. You were ecstatic. All your work had finally paid off. You would finally be able to do good in this terrible world. You'd be able to save lives. You couldn't take all the credit for your success though. Natasha was a huge factor in your accomplishment. The private lessons she had given you only made you better. You were so grateful for all the help Natasha had provided.
In that year, you and Natasha had actually grown close. You guys would spend a lot of time together outside of the gym. You really got to know Natasha and you eventually grew some feelings for the red head. You know it was absolutely stupid for you to gain feelings for her. She was a very reserved person, but maybe she felt the same? She was a little more open with you and you'd like to think you know her kinda well.
You wanted to tell Natasha how you felt for her, but you had no clue how she'd react. You didn't want to offend or upset her, but it was kinda eating you up inside. All the lingering touches and longing glances between the two of you were no help. One day, you finally had enough and confessed your feelings to her.
You had both been sat in a little cafe that you guys often frequented. "I think I'm falling for you." You blurted out of nowhere. Natasha froze as she dropped the fork she was just holding.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to just come out with it like that. But I really like you and if you feel the same I'd love to take you on a date." You let out nervously as you twiddle with your hands nervously.
It was a minute before Natasha replied. As you looked down at your food uncomfortably, Natasha reached out for your hand across the table which you reluctantly gave to her.
"I would love to go out with you Y/N/N." Natasha said with her bright smile and red lips as her eyes twinkled despite the dim lighting in the cafe. "Really? Are you sure?" You ask in stupid disbelief. Did she really just say yes? Are you dreaming?
Natasha let out a genuine laugh at your flustered and unsure state. "Yes. I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Natasha says as she squeezes your hand and looks at you gently. "Okay. Cool." You say awkwardly. That just makes Natasha laugh even more and you soon after. If you got to see her happy and make her laugh, you'd embarrass yourself all the time if that's what it took.
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4 years later
It's been four years since you first told Natasha how you felt. You guys went on your first date a few days after. You had taken her to a Russian food festival that was in town. You were nervous about how Natasha would react to the date, but she loved it. She loved that you took her upbringing into consideration. You chose to do something she would like and it warmed her heart.
Now, you guys have been together since then. Things were amazing between you both. You had gotten recruited by Fury to become an Avenger and you were happy about it. You got to fight alongside Nat.
Natasha was only vulnerable and showed emotion to you, and you only. She did all the sappy romantic things you wanted. You once made her kiss you in the rain. She still did it even though she protested. It made you happy and Natasha wanted you to only ever be happy.
However, Thanos came around. That day in Wakanda absolutely destroyed the team; well what was left of the team. When Thanos snapped his fingers, you immediately ran around searching for any signs of Natasha. You finally caught sight of her frantically searching for someone; for you. When your eyes met another, you darted towards each other and hugged each other tightly. The relief you felt knowing that you hadn't lost Natasha was amazing. However, it wasn't as strong of a feeling as the feeling of failure.
Now that half the world was gone, the crime rates were at an all time low. There was no need for the Avengers after the loss of half of the world's population. In the wake of the blip, you had been overcome with an overwhelming need to be close to Natasha at all times. The thought that you could've lost her ate away at you. You needed to appreciate her (not that you didn't before). You just felt as though you guys should be grateful to at least still have each other.
Natasha felt the opposite though and you noticed. Natasha felt guilty that everyone lost their loved ones and she got to keep hers. She began to distance herself and shut you out. This didn't stop you from trying though.
You would wake up every morning and make her some breakfast. However, she would decline your food each time. She'd just make herself a sandwich and go to the conference room where she spent all of her time. You then tried to make her sandwiches because it's all she ate nowadays, but she would still deny the offer. It's like she wanted nothing to do with you.
Since the blip, Natasha has been working nonstop. She tries to oversee any indications of trouble and tries to find ways to fix it. One time an earthquake happened and Nat really asked what you guys should do about it. You stared at her in disbelief. "It's an earthquake Natty. We handle it by not handling it." You say to her softly. This pissed Natasha off though and she ended up sleeping in the conference room that night.
You were at a loss. Everything you did for Natasha she completely rejected. Even if you tried to just grab her hand she would snatch it away and walk away from you. She never told you that she loved you anymore. There were no more nights of cuddling and talking about anything and everything.
Not to say that you weren't effected by the blip as well. You felt just as guilty and responsible as the rest of the team did. But you didn't let that stop you from showing Natasha how much you appreciated and loved her. The same could not be said for Natasha.
Although the defeat against Thanos had effected everyone, it hit Natasha the hardest. She become an unrecognizable person. She never smiled anymore. She never showed any sign of care for you. You felt completely neglected by the woman you loved; it killed you.
At first, you guys would argue whenever you tried to bring up her health. You would tell her how unhealthy she's been treating herself and that there was nothing you guys could do about what happened. Natasha would blow up at you and one day she had completely broke you.
"Y/N! I can't stop what I'm doing. If I stop, who will do what I've been doing?" Natasha yelled at you as you tried to close her laptop that she's been staring at all day.
"That's the thing Natasha. No one would do it because there's nothing to be done." You tried to calmly talk some sense into the fuming assassin. You should've known better though; it only pissed Natasha off even more.
"Do you not care about what happened? God, you should've been dusted like everyone else if you're not gonna try and fight to fix this. If you were just gonna suffocate me." Natasha let out exhaustedly as she threw her hands up in the air.
You stood there stunned. She wanted you to disappear like everyone else? You knew she didn't want your company anymore, but you didn't think it was to this extent. She broke any hope you had left.
"It's not that I don't want to bring everyone back Natasha. I'm just able to accept that there's nothing we can do; something you can't." You finish off as you walk out of the room. You refused to show her how much her words had effected you. So as you made it back to your room, you broke down completely. Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body at an uncontrollable rate. She wanted you dead. She didn't love you anymore.
After that day you stopped trying to salvage your relationship with Natasha. You were extremely stressed out and overwhelmed by everything. You became a shell of yourself. You didn't eat much anymore, you only ate so you wouldn't pass out. Sadly, Natasha didn't even care to notice your now frail form. She didn't feel an ounce of concern when she had noticed the dried trail of tears that would be on your face as you slept. She didn't take notice that you didn't smile anymore. She didn't notice how unhappy you were.
What she did take note of was the sudden halt in your advances to be near her. She was relieved by this. She didn't want you around her to remind her of failure.
Natasha's main goal has always been to clear the red out of her ledger. With this loss came more red in her ledger. She felt responsible for essentially murdering half of the world. It completely clouded any rational thinking within her.
Natasha was so consumed by her need to make things right that she completely disregarded your feelings. She didn't check on you, not even once. She only cared about she felt; she was selfish. You all had lost and she made you out to be heartless and uncaring.
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5 years later
It's been five years since the blip. Five years since your relationship with Natasha died. I mean you guys were still together... you think. You honestly didn't know where you stood with Natasha anymore. You didn't bother to ask if you guys were still together. You couldn't handle anymore heartbreak. Ignorance is bliss.
Nothing had changed in the five years. You and Natasha had become strangers basically. You didn't even share a room anymore, you moved back to your old room. Your once love filled relationship was now a dark hole that felt more like a chore than anything.
However, everything changed when Scott Lang suddenly appeared on the front steps of the compound. You, Natasha, and Steve who had been visiting to do his laundry, were shocked when you all realized it was happening in real time.
You guys quickly let him in and asked him a million questions. Where was he? How was he here? Was this the hope you all had desperately been hoping for? Was this a chance at righting a wrong?
As Scott explained the concept of Quantum Physics and suggested time travel, you honestly didn't care how crazy it sounded. Any chance, no matter how insane it sounded, was still a chance. The other two avengers in the room must've had the same idea as Steve suggested we all talk to Stark about the idea.
Initially, Stark was completely against the idea. You couldn't blame him. This is uncharted territory. He didn't know how this time travel thing could effect the family he built during the blip. However, he eventually came around and now you all stood, about to time travel for the first time ever.
"Okay, so Y/N and Natasha will go to Vormir together to retrieve the soul stone. And Tony, Scott, Clint, and myself will go to New York to ge-" Steve was suddenly cut off as Natasha abruptly cut him off.
"I don't want to go with Y/N. Can I switch with someone else?" Natasha asked harshly with no emotion present in her voice. Your heart shattered at the fact that she didn't want to go with you. Yeah, you guys hadn't been close in so long, but it still hurt you regardless. She was still your girlfriend and the love of your life. The thought that she didn't want to be by your side during something this risky was a stab to the heart.
"Uh... you and Clint can switch." Steve says awkwardly as he looked between you and the redhead. You just looked down dejectedly. You couldn't help but feel like Natasha had some sort of grudge against you at this point. It's been too long of this cold shoulder game to be just about the blip.
Natasha nods as she says nothing. "Okay guys, let's get the stones and come right back. We got this." Steve says as everyone makes their way to the platform. You walk over to where Natasha stood and move to give her a kiss, when she dramatically pulls her face away from your own and gives you a hard glare.
"Don't." Natasha says as she pushes you away. You look around at the rest of the team and feel embarrassed as they all stare at you with pity. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes as you walk over and stand next to Clint. He looks at you with sadness in his eyes. You just shake your head and look down at the watch and set the time and day. You and Clint confirm that you guys have the same settings and look up at the rest of the team.
You lock eyes with Natasha who was across from you as you let a few tears fall from your eyes. As the sound of the platform firing up fills the room, you give Natasha a sad smile. "See you in a minute." You say her catchphrase to her then you both disappear from where you stood.
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The next thing you knew, you were on Vormir. You couldn't help but marvel at the gorgeous planet. The beautiful purple and blue sky and the tall cliff would've been amazing under different circumstances. You had this bad feeling in your gut.
When you and Clint finally made it to the top of the massive mountain, you both immediately drew your weapons at the sight of a floating red figure.
"Who are you?" You ask the stranger, never putting your gun down. "Consider me a guide to you and to all who seek the soul stone." The red figure speaks giving you and Clint the chills. There was something ominous about his tone that made you feel uneasy.
"Oh good. You tell us where it is then we'll be on our way." You place your finger on the trigger as the figure moves closer to you.
"If only it were that easy. What you seek lies in front of you. As does what you fear." The figure passes by you and towards the edge of the cliff. You and Clint follow and stand next to him. You peer down and internally cringe at the height.
"The stone is down there." You state more than ask. "For one of you. For one of you.... in order to take the stone you must lose that of which you love. A soul for a soul. An everlasting exchange." Your heart drops as you tear your eyes away from the bottom of the cliff and move towards a rock.
Clint follows you as he glares at the supposed soul stone keeper. "Maybe he's full of shit." Clint says as he stands right in front of you.
"It's not. Thanos came here to get the soul stone with his daughter. He got the stone and didn't come back with her. That's not a coincidence." You say as you clasp your hands together. You lean your chin on it as you think.
This is where your story ends. Clint can't be the one to jump. He has a wife and kids. What do you have? A girlfriend who wants nothing to do with you. You aren't the happy person in a happy relationship like you were years prior. It's painfully obvious that you need to be the one to jump. However, you know you're gonna have to fight Clint for it.
"It should be me. It has to be me." You say as you look up at Clint. "Absolutely fucking not." Clint grunts in protest as you stand up from your current position. You get closer to him until you stand right in front of him.
"It has to be me Clint. You have a family that'll need you when they get back. Natasha doesn't love me anymore." You look down at the ground at the mention of your girlfriend.
"Don't say that. Natasha loves you more than anything." Clint tries to persuade you, but you don't believe him. "She hasn't loved me since the blip. I have a chance to make her happy again. All she's wanted for the past 5 years was to bring everyone back, we can't do that without the stone." You say as you start to rock back and forth on the heels of your feet.
"You can't leave your family. I won't let you." You suddenly shock him with the widow bite bracelet Natasha had gifted you for your first anniversary. She said you could use it to protect yourself when she couldn't.
"Tell Natasha I love her and I'm sorry I wasn't enough." You say as you run towards the cliff. Before you can reach the edge, an explosion right next to you causes you to fly to the side. As you groan and look up from the floor, your eyes widen as Clint makes his way to the cliff and jumps.
You quickly follow suit and use a rope to catch Clint, effectively causing him to hold onto you. You look down at the drop below you with a nervous gasp of air. You look back up at Clint who has tears in his eyes.
"Please. Don't." He begs you, but he knows there's no way you're both getting out of this; not in this position. You give him a reassuring smile. "It's okay. You can let me go."
Clint shakes his head furiously and tightens his grip on you. He won't be able to face Natasha after this, that's for certain. You were his best friend just like Natasha was. You shouldn't be the one about to fall to your death on a foreign planet.
You know he isn't gonna let you go willingly. So, with one last glance and smile you kick against the side of the mountain and free fall. As you fall, your life flashes before your eyes. Your childhood memories, your training with Natasha, falling in love with Natasha, the blip, the aftermath of the blip, up to now. You smile as you remember everything about Natasha. You weren't only doing this for the world, you were doing it for her.
Your body hit the ground with a sickening thud as the sound of your bones breaking and Clint's cries in agony echo. As blood started to pour out of your body, a bright light shot up and light up the entire sky. It was your soul. You had given up your soul for the soul stone.
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Clint returned to the platform at the same time everyone else did. He was soaking wet, a look of despair on his face, as he clutched the soul stone to his heart. As the cheers of the team sounded throughout the room, Clint fell to his knees. Everyone turned to look at him when Steve noticed something, no, someone was missing. Steve had noticed your absence before Natasha did.
"Clint. Where's Y/N?" Steve asks as he approached Clint. At Steve's words, panic began to take over Natasha. "Where is she Clint?" Natasha asked trying to mask the fear that was consuming her.
"She's gone. She gave her life up for the soul stone." Clint said simply. He was still in a state of shock and grief. The image of his best friend falling to her death replaying over in his head.
"What do you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES GONE CLINT?" Natasha screams as she grabs him by the collar and lifts him up aggressively.
"The soul stone keeper said that it had to be a soul for a soul. Someone had to die to get the stone. It was supposed to be me. It should've been me." (A/N: damn right it should've been him in endgame lmao)
Natasha let go of Clint's collar as pain took over her entire body. Natasha fell to her knees in front of Clint and started bawling her eyes out. Guilt began to seep in as she recalled how she treated you. God that was the last time she was ever going to see you? She treated you like absolute shit? That would be your last memory of her? She was an absolute asshole to you the past five years. The sound of your voice as you said "see you in a minute," broke Natasha even more. The sad and defeated look in your eyes as she refused to go with you.
She should've gone with you. She could've stopped you from sacrificing yourself. They say that you don't know what you got till it's gone. This situation proved that saying true. Natasha would have to live with the fact that she had made you feel unloved the last 5 years of your life. She would never get to see you again. You were nothing but good to her and she repaid you by treating you like the dirt beneath her boots. She wished that she had pulled you closer instead of pushed you away. She never thought that you would be apart of the red in her ledger, but here she was. Natasha screamed in agony and it absolutely broke the team.
Tears were in everyone's eyes. You were like family to them all. You joined the Avengers and quickly made your way into their hearts with your amazing cooking, funny jokes, and reliability. Your death hurt everyone in the room, but not on the same level as Natasha. She would never get to see the love of her life again. She'd have to live with the fact that you died thinking that she hated you. Natasha suddenly stood up abruptly and halted her tears.
"Let's bring everyone back now. Y/N's sacrifice will not go to waste. Do you guys understand? We do this NOW." Natasha says in a fit of anger as she storms out of the room.
Everyone is shocked by Natasha's sudden change in behavior, but they completely agree with her. The loss of your life and your sacrifice would not be wasted. Natasha would make sure of it. She would do what she didn't do for you the past 5 years and will never truly be able to do again; give you what you deserve.