Desperate Desire

11. Goodbye?

Roman POV

Laying on the couch with a blanket covering me from the waist down, I let out a soft sigh. I hadn't moved from the spot since she left, somehow if I stayed where I was it felt like she was still here laying beside me.

After Trevor and the crew had left Jade and I had talked, she had told that she had made the decision to go back home, she felt the only way she could figure out what she really wanted was to be away from both of us, to be alone and have space to think.

I respected her decision becuase it gave me hope that it there was still a chance this beautiful, incredible woman could be mine, that her future could be with me. I had taken the opportunity to tell her once last time that I loved her and she responded with a kiss, she's never said she loves me but I definitely felt it in that kiss, all I could do was hope she loved me more.

As it always does with us the kiss led to more and we ended up making love right here on the couch, we took our time, both of wanting to make the most of our last moment together, both of us wanting to make it last as long as possible.

Of course in my heart I knew what we were doing, we were saying goodbye, regardless of what I wanted I had this feeling deep down that she wasn't going to come back, that I was never going to see her again, that's why while she slept I took the opportunity to memorise every detail of her, head to toe.

It didn't just feel like goodbye though, it also felt like some how this last moment together had created something between us, a connection that would last forever.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I call out as I pull on my boxers and sweatpants

"Hey man it's Trevor, I was hoping we could gonover next week's match" he calls through the door as I walk over.

"Sure come on in" I say opening the door "Excuse the mess I was just taking a nap"

"Don't worry, I'm not the neatest of people" he chuckles before something catches his eye "Hey....." he says bending down to pick something up from the floor infront of the couch "has Jade been to see you today?" He asks

"No I haven't seen her why?" I ask at the same time wondering what's in his hand

"It's just.....she has earrings just like these" he says holding it up "I bought her them for Christmas last year, and I swear she was wearing them today"

Jade POV

I had just packed the last of my things when the door flew open, I had to find Trevor striding towards me his face angrier then I have ever seen it.

"Baby what's wrong? What's happened?" I ask but he just looks at my case

"Where are you going?" He asks not looking at me

"I've decided to go home for a bit" I say "I've loved being here with you but I miss my friends"

"Before you go anywhere I want an explaination" he says holding up an earring "why was this in Roman's locker room? Why did you go see him?"

"I went to ask him to go easy on you next week" I sigh "I was worried about you getting hurt"

"Really? I think it's time you started being honest with me" he says "I know something is going on with you, when you first joined me after a week you started disappearing during the night, after hawaii that stopped but the bad dreams started, today you disappeared and I find your earring in Romans locker room and you packing to leave, what's going on Jade?"

"Trevor I don't know what you want me to say" I sigh looking away "I never meant for any of this to happen"

"Oh my god......you're fucking him aren't you?" He gasps "you've been fucking Roman god damn Reigns behind me back, why? Wasn't I good enough for you? Did I do something wrong that made you turn to him?"

"You did nothing wrong, and you are more than good enough" I say "it's me who isn't good enough for you, the first time I saw him there was an instant attraction, I tried so hard to fight it but I couldn't, I was weak and you deserve better" I say sliding the ring off my finger and dropping it on to the bed.

"I don't want better, I want you Jade" he says taking hold of my shoulders "I love you, we can get passed this just tell me that whatever it was between you and him is over and we can work through it, I don't want to lose you"

"Trevor it's not that simple" I say "I love you but.........I......I love him too........I love you both"

"You love him?" He asks and I nod "well I refuse to share you so you need to make a choice, me or him"

"Trevor that's not fair" I gasp "you can't make me choose"

"No what's not fair is me doing nothing but love you for three years and you repaying me by fucking another man behind my back" he snaps "now it's me or him, you can't have us both Jade, you need to choose"

"Fine if that's what you want I'll choose" I snap back, tears stinging my eyes "I choose...............neither of you"

"What?" He gasps "what do you mean neither of us?"

"You refuse to share, I refuse to choose on the spot" I say "right now I don't know what I want, I need time to my self to think, to breathe, away from both of you"

"You knew what you wanted when you got in his bed" he snarls "why him of all people?"

"You can't control who your attracted to or who you love" I say "I'm sorry if Roman isn't the ideal choice for you, but I can't change it" I say grabbing my case and heading for the door

"Wait" he calls after me, when I turn he reaches out and puts my engagement ring in my hand "keep it with you, if you decide I'm what you want, I want you to put it back on"

"Alright" I say closing my hand around the ring "for what it's worth I really am sorry, I never ever meant to hurt you"

Trevor turns away from me and walks over tk the window, I turn back to the door and leave the room, as I walk to the elevator the doors open and Roman walks out.

"You leaving already?" He asks and I nod

"I have no choice now, he knows" I sigh and his eyes widen

"What? How?" He asks

"He figured it out, he knew before hawaii that I had been disappearing during the night" I say "he also knew that what he thinks are my bad dreams started after we got back, he knew something was going on and I couldn't lie to him anymore"

"How did he take it?" He asks "are you guys over?"

"Not very well, and I don't know" I say looking into his deep brown eyes "he wants me to choose him or you and I need time to do that"

"Alright here" he says taking a pen out of his pocket and writing on my hand "this is my number, when you ready call me and let me know your decision, but just for the record I would never have asked you to choose"

"You did when you asked me to be yours" I say and he smiles

"Yeah I guess I did" he says "Well then I guess this is goodbye, take care of yourself and I love you babygirl"

"Goodbye Roman, you too" I say giving him a half smile "I don't want to leave without you knowing............I love you too"

Roman leans down and presses a soft brief kiss to my lips before pushing the elevator button for me.

"Goodbye babygirl" he says as he walks away