burning poems

four

"learning to unlove you took me years, I can't Billie" Jess says pushing me back, my shoulders slump as my tears build up.

"trying to forget your coffee shop, the food you love, the movies that made you cry and the way you made me feel even if I saw you from across the room, so please just let me be, please" she begs tearing up.

"it took me years to be where I am at and it took you for what seems like seconds because you fell out of love with me while you were in love with me"

"the look you gave me slowly started to fade away. yes, I noticed but I just didn't want to believe it. you didn't enjoy your favorite food, you didn't cry or laugh to your favorite movies. your phone gave you more dopamine than any of my kisses. so please don't come to me telling me you're in love with me, not now"

"learning to unlove you took me years and it only took you seconds because you were doing it all along our relationship but didn't have the decency to tell me"

"so please just let me go, i am only here for my daughter" she says softer this time, I bite my inner cheek and nod while wiping away my tears.

"okay, I am sorry" my voice cracks while I look down at my shoes, "I'm sorry, I don't even know why I tried anything" I say giving her a tiny smile.

I walk off into the bathroom without her stopping me, I lean against the wall with my hand over my mouth to cover up my sobs.

never in my life have I ever thought I could feel so much heartache, never would I have thought one could feel so much chest pains that they feel like they are dying.

but who am I to blame?

I don't have no one to blame but myself.