burning poems

five

now that you're gone, I realize
how much you meant to me.
my loss is wide as a starless night sky,
and deep as a stormy sea.

I lean back on the wall and look around the empty house before letting out a sigh and pick on my nails.

it feels so lonely.

patiently waiting for days to go by so I can finally have Nora for the next week just so that it's less lonely and quiet in this big house alone.

I miss the comfort of your sweet love,
your absolute devotion;
now I'm a fountain of endless tears,
a pool of sad emotion.

I lay there numb as the man, who was supposed to be there for me, to hold me, get dressed.

"great time, I'll see you soon?" is all he say before leaving out the door allowing me to breakdown. all I wanted was for him to come watch a movie as a friend.

be there for me as a friend.

I didn't give him consent to touch me. after him completely ignoring my rejects, I just layed there until he was done.

he has a whole family and wife, what is he doing going around like that?

a family is such a precious thing.

I would kill to have my family still together but some people are out destroying theirs.

but I should have known I can't find a friend in a man like him.

they tell me I should move on with life,
that time will heal my pain;
I smile and nod and agree with them,
while I slowly go insane

"hi" I greet Jess as I open the door letting her in with the sleeping Nora in her arms, her eyebrows furrow as she takes in my appearance and gives me small smile.

"have you been taking care of yourself?" she asks while walking in and lays our daughter on the couch with support and a blanket.

I shrug and take a seat on the island chairs. for the past few days I kind have just been laying around and not bothering to do anything.

"I'm thinking of selling the house" I tell her making her face fall a bit but nods , "it's so hard to maintain and super lonely" I tell her.

she nods slowly looking around the house she had bought for us and back at me, "I get it" is all she says.

"how about you go take a bath, I will cook something for you?" she asks, I nod with a smile.

"that would be great but ain't you suppose to be going into work in a few minutes?" I ask looking at the clock above the fridge.

"I am but you need me right now so, I can spare an hour or two" she shrugs, I thank her once again and run off.

poem by Joanna Fuchs