burning poems

one

my life is different now.
I like it; some of it.
much more time, lots of freedom,
but you
keep wandering into my thoughts.
I feel a pang, a little stab of guilt,
when I think of all my unfaithful times,
even our good times.
I really want to own this new life.
could you just be a memory?
please?

"come on baby, let's get you dressed" I say to my two year old when I finish bathing her, I wrap a towel around her and she runs off giggling making me chuckle.

"what do you want to wear today?" I ask her, she points at the skirt in her small wardrobe and looks up at me with her big eyes.

"I want to match with mommy" she says mispronouncing her words, I nod my head and pick out some clothes for us to match before moisturizing her and do her hair.

"mommy, mama is here" she says excitedly when the doorbell rings and tries to run off while I am putting on her sneakers.

"I know baby, hold on" I say putting on her second shoe and let her run off, I find her trying to reach for the door handle when I get there making me chuckle.

I open the door for for making her jump in her mom's arms, "hello pretty girl" I hear Jesse cooe at her daughter making her giggle.

"hi" I greet her with a small smile as I pop up watching them giggle together, she looks up at me and sends me a smile.

"how are you baby mama?" she asks entering the house that was once ours.

"I'm tired. toddlers are so much work" I playfully groan making her laugh and nod while her daughter plays with her chains around her neck.

"they are but you're good though?" she asks, I give her a smile and nod while packing things she will need for the week.

"mama you love me?" our daughter, Nora asks making both of us laugh.

"of course I love you baby" Jess says making her hand on the counter, "why are you asking baby?"

"mommy said she loves us" she says pointing at me making my eyes widen, I quickly look away to mind my own business.

"well of course she does baby, we're a family. I love mommy too" Jess says making me bit my lip as I hand her the bag.

"say bye to mommy baby" Jess says, I smile at Nora as she runs to hug my leg and kisses it, "I can't believe out of all your genes, she decided to take over your height" jokes Jesse making me smack the back of her head.

"leave me and my baby alone" I say narrowing my eyes at her while picking up the tiny human clinging on my leg.

"I'll see you next week baby, have fun with mama" I tell her pressing a kiss on her cheek and hand her over to Jess.

she takes the bag over her shoulder and holds Nora with the other while walking to the door with me behind her, "I love you" I tell Nora making her say it back.

"okay, I'll see you next week" Jesse says giving me a small hug and a kiss on the forehead, "take care" I wave at her as they leave.

"bye mommy" Nora shouts while waving making me chuckle while Nora buckles her in the car seat, I wave back making her giggle.

"mama can we get ice cream?" I hear her mispronounce as Jess enters the driving seat and they drive off making me sigh and close the door looking around the apartment.

there you go again.