Silence

6

Stiff neck. Light headache. The sun wakes me up. Apparently I fell asleep sitting upright with my head bent back at a strange angle. I rub my neck. The man beside me starts to stir. I look at him. He opens his beautiful blue eyes. Looks disoriented for a second.
"Shit! I fell asleep!"

"Good morning." I sign. Smile shyly.

He signs good morning as well. Then he yawns. His eyes grow wide and he puts a hand over his mouth.
"I probably have a terrible morning breath." He says, sound muffled.

I giggle. He takes his hand away. Smiling brightly.
"I can give you a toothbrush if you want." I sign.

"Yeah, yeah, that would be great!" He replies with a grin.

I get up. Crack my back. He follows me to the bathroom. I open one of the cabinets and fetch a new toothbrush and hand it over. He signs thank you while he says it out loud as well.

"No problem." I sign before I reach for my toothbrush. I give him a look to ask if it's okay. Maybe he wants to be alone in the bathroom. He just smiles so I take that as confirmation that it's okay.

I grab the toothpaste and put some on my toothbrush before I give him the tube. We brush our teeth together in silence. Glance at each other through the mirror. Both smiling.

I'm just about to rinse my toothbrush under the running water when Louis spits a mouthful of toothpaste all over it.
"Oh crap! I'm sorry!" He apologizes.

A laugh bubbles from the pit of my tummy and I can't hold it in. I stare at my toothbrush and I laugh. Loudly. He joins me. We just stand there. Laughing. Together. I rinse my toothbrush under the cold water. My laughter dies out. It feels liberating.
"You have a wonderful laughter." He says softly.

I glance at him.
"So do you." I sign. I can't remember the last time I laugh like that. Happy laugh.

He signs a thank you and smiles.
"Breakfast?" I ask with a hand motion.

"Sure. I really need to wee though." He chuckles.

I leave the bathroom and he closes the door. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. I'm a breakfast person. At least on the weekends. I take out some eggs and find some bacon in the freezer. I decide to make some pancakes as well and find the ingredients. When Louis emerges into the kitchen I'm whipping up a batch of pancakes.
"Woah! You're really going all in." He says.

"I like to cook." I inform him and smile.

"Alright, alright. What can I do?" He asks and looks around in the kitchen, slightly confused.

I stop whisking and fetch a net of oranges and put them in front of the juice maker. He looks even more confused so I show him how it works before I return to what I was doing. While he makes fresh-squeezed orange juice I cook pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

We take a seat at the table. I watch him taste my food. Anxiously. He looks up. Grins.
"Absolutely perfect. So good." He signs and speaks.

I smile. Sign a thank you. Now I can eat.
"You're spoiling me, Harry. I usually just go for cereal." Louis says. I smile wider.

He helps me clear the table when we're done. Offers to do the dishes. I decline.
"So what are your plans for today?" He asks.

"No plans." I sign.

"Well, last night ended abruptly." He says and I immediately sign I'm sorry.

"Please, I run away from Niall all the time. Okay, no I don't, but I understand Harry. I'm just wondering if you would like to do something today, with me that is." He says awkwardly.

I smile. Hurry to sign I'd love to.

"Great! Ehm, I'm gonna head home quickly. You know, shower, change clothes. See you in like, two hours?" He wonders. Hands behind his back. Tapping his foot. Is he nervous? He's adorable.

Me? I want to shout. Silly dance. Celebrate. He's giving me a second chance. For what I don't exactly know. Friendship? Something more? It doesn't matter. I'll take whatever he offers. Pathetic. I know. I'm starving for human contact. A do-over. That's unfamiliar to me.
"Harry?"

I snap out of it. Smiles.
"Two hours." I sign.

He looks relieved. Smiles sweetly. I follow him to the hallway. Say goodbye. As soon as the door closes behind him I do my silly dance. I can't help it. I have to let it out. I'm not delusional. I could never hope for something more. He would never love me. Hopeless. Mute. Broken beyond repair. But he wants to be my friend. I hope. It seems like. Oh, God, I really hope so.

Two hours later I'm showered and dressed up. We meet on the train. He smiles. We go to the same pub. He wants to eat a pub lunch. I can do that even if my tastebuds protest.

We find a seat. Make our orders. He holds a conversation with me. His hands are dancing in the air. They're hypnotic. I like his hands. Small. Petite. Expressive.

Halfway through our lunch, he looks over my shoulder. Hesitates. Glance at me.
"Don't freak out but Niall is standing behind you. I think he wants to apologize."

I look over my shoulder. Niall is standing a couple of feet behind me. Nervous. Fiddling. He sees me looking. Waves. Hesitates. I wave him over.
"Hi, Harry. I don't want to disturb you. I just want to say that I'm really sorry about yesterday. I never meant to make you so uncomfortable. I mean, you ran away and I feel awful."

He hangs his head. I look at Louis and sign something to him. He translates.
"Harry says that it's okay and he says that he's sorry too for how he reacted. He's asking you to join us."

Niall smiles and takes a seat. He glances at Harry.
"Can I ask what happened?"

I freeze. I don't want to talk about it. I feel a hand on mine. Louis is squeezing it reassuringly. I sign something for him. Louis looks at Niall.
"He doesn't want to talk about it but he's okay with me telling you later. Not now."

"Oh, okay. I don't need to know if it like, makes you feel bad, Harry." Niall says.

Niall was a good friend in high school. I have to let people in. I sign a quick response and Louis translates.
"He's okay with it. He wants you to know."

Niall looks like he's dying of curiosity but he leaves it. Instead, he orders some food and a beer and starts chatting. I relax. Louis translates everything I sign, making sure I'm a part of the conversation. This is the best day I've had in ages.