Silence

18

We meet the guys at our usual spot in a crowded city. Niall loves the Irish pub where he can have his Guinness and talk about the good old days in Mullingar. He's the stereotypical Irishman in many ways and in other ways he totally surprises you. I'm glad that we have reconnected.
"Hi Harry, how are you?" Hi, signs and smiles at the same time as we approach the table where they're already enjoying their first beer.

"I'm good. You?" I sign back. I greet Liam and Zayn as well.

"I'm fine mate. Sorry, that's all the sign language I've learned so far. It's freaking hard to remember." He says with an apologetic smile.

"I really appreciate the effort." I sign and Louis translates for me. Niall looks happy.

Louis disappears to the bar to order us some beer. Niall waits for him to return before he starts to grill us.
"So, Doncaster? Tell us everything."

"Not much to tell, lad. We played Monopoly with my siblings. Just hung out, you know?" Louis chuckles.

"That's it?" Niall whines. Looks disappointed. I giggle. What had he expected?

I decide that it's time to tell them. I grace Louis' shoulder to get his attention but he's already looking at me. I start to sign. He speaks.
"We actually went to my old house first. It was something I needed to do."

Niall gasps. He stares at me.
"In Holmes Chapel?"

I nod my head.
"Damn! Are you okay?" Niall asks.

Liam and Zayn repeat the same question simultaneously. Niall has told them what happened to my family after I asked him to. Louis squeezed my knee under the table.
"I'm okay." I sign.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Niall asks with concern in his blue eyes.

I shake my head. They're still looking at me as if they're afraid that I will break.
"I will tell you about it someday. For now, I'm processing it with my therapist, and with Louis. I hope you don't feel left out." I sign. Louis translates.

"Of course not! Don't worry about us." Zayn says.

"Yeah, we're glad you're seeing a therapist. That you're talking about it. Wait, how? I mean? You don't exactly speak." Niall says, looking confused.

I giggle.
"My therapist knows sign language."

"Everyone knows it except me!" Niall whines. Then he adds "but that's great!"

"Harry, we're all here for you. Whatever you need." Liam says and Niall and Zayn nod their heads.

I have to blink away some tears. Those words mean everything to me. I have friends. People who care about me.
"Thank you." I sign.

They all know that gesture by now. They smile. We drop the subject. Niall starts to tell a story about a wild night out and we all laugh. Louis leans in.
"Are you okay?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head. I actually am. Not long ago being reminded about my family would have destroyed the whole night. Now I can cope. It still saddens me but I'm okay.

When the pub closes we all had a few beers too many. We make our way to the nearest subway station, walking in a somewhat straight line. Louis has his arm around my waist. I have my arm around his shoulders. We say goodbye and head to our platform. It's almost deserted. The train arrives and we get in. We're alone in our section. Louis slumps down on a seat. I sit next to him.
"Oh man, I'm getting too old for this. The hangover will be brutal." He mutters.

I giggle. Meet his eyes. He smiles. Leans in to kiss me. Soon enough we're making out like two horny teenagers. When we need to come up for air I quickly sign.
"Wanna come back to my place?"

"So badly. Don't tempt me, princess." He chuckles.

I blush. Princess? Pout. He caresses my cheek.
"We're both drunk. If I go home with you there will be naked activities involved. Don't get me wrong, I'd like that really much but our first time should be without the presence of alcohol, don't you think?"

Naked activities? Why can't he just say sex? I giggle. He has a point though. It also means that he takes this, us, seriously. No skipping steps.
"You're right." I sign. Smile.

"But if it's alright with you, I can come over tomorrow? We can be hungover together. You can feel sorry for me, because obviously, my hangover will be far worse than yours." He says.

"Obviously." I silently tease. Roll my eyes.

"We can order pizza and watch movies. Alright?" He wonders.

I nod my head. Give him a dimpled smile. My station is up. I give him a quick kiss before I get off the train. Make my way home.

I throw myself on the bed after a fast toothbrush session. The room is spinning a little. I'm horny. Louis could have been here now helping me out with that. Ravishing me. Instead, he had to be the voice of reason. I'm glad that he is. It's better to wait. Make it meaningful. But still. Horny. I haven't had sex in over a year. Definitely not with someone I like. Love.

I take care of the problem myself and pass out after that. I sleep in. Wake up just before noon. Check my phone. I have a text from Louis. It just says
hungover. Kill me.

Kill me? Before that would have triggered me. Not now. I am hungover as well. I text him back. Asking him if he wants to come over so I can take care of him, not kill him.

He answers that he will be at my place in 40 minutes. I reek of alcohol, finding its way out of my pores. I rub my face and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. My stomach protests.

I make it to the shower. Use extra body wash so I won't smell old booze. I get out of the shower, dry myself on a towel and secure it around my waist. Brush my teeth, scratch my cheek. I need to shave but I rule against it. I put on deodorant and perfume before I head to my closet to find some boxers, sweats, and an outworn t-shirt. My hair is still wet but I leave it. Knowing that it will be insanely curly when it dries. I guess Louis will have to accept that. I usually style it so it doesn't show that much. I never really liked my curls. At least it dries quickly.

I find some painkillers and take them. I've just put on a pot of coffee when there's a knock on my front door. I hurry to open it. Louis looks tired.
"Hi."

"Hi." I sign. Let him in.

"Tell me you have coffee." He says while he kicks off his shoes.

"I just put on a fresh pot." I inform him.

He smiles. His eyes fall on my hair. His smile grows wider.
"I had no idea your hair is that curly."

I grimace. Drag a hand through it. He takes a step closer. Feel my hair. Run his fingers through it.
"I really like it. You should always wear your hair like this."

I love him.