consequences of memories

43

Kim Chaewon's POV

"Why are you alone?" As if magic, the girl I have been thinking about comes out of nowhere, she is now beside me. She doesn't look angry, she just stared at me like a curious being.

"Why are you here?" I replied with a question, I wanted to avoid hers. How am I supposed to tell her that I'm pitifully sitting here because I've been thinking about her. I can never tell her that.

"I was looking for you," My eyes widened a fraction by what Minju said.

She's looking for me? And just like that, I hoped. I hoped that we would still be fine. I hoped that once everything falls into places, we'll be fine.

If it weren't for Hitomi, I would be drowning in the pit of my own cruel thoughts.

Thinking back to what Hitomi said, should I let Minju go?

Hitomi's right—no matter how painful it is, if a person is no longer happy with you, it's only right for you to let them go.

But how can I let Minju go? She's my Minju, how can I let her go?

"You can go back now, tell them I'm talking my morning walk," I told her. I don't want to make her stay here when I know she's still hurting.

All the things she said, that was because she's hurt. Us, humans, are often ruled by our feelings. When we're overwhelmed with emotions, we say things we don't mean but that doesn't erase all the damage that was done.

"No, I'll stay. They're still cooking anyway." She says, taking up the space beside me. 

And just like that, the girl who had been occupying my mind sits calmly beside me as if she didn't break my heart. But I can never blame her, she's hurting too— probably more than I was.

Silence. Silence took over. As much as I want to say something, nothing comes out. Oddly, the voices in my head is quiet, too. It's been a while since the voices were hushed.

Peace. Everything is peaceful. Who would've thought that I'd find my peace in a girl that doesn't want a part of me in her life. Isn't life so fucked up?

"You can go, Minju. Look, if you're doing this because the girls told you to, you can go. I know you don't want to be here, not with me. So please, do yourself a favor and just go." I said, now staring at her brown eyes.

Those eyes, it's been a while since those eyes stared at me without anger.

"But... I don't want to go.", she whispers, but I caught it. I stared at her in shock.

She doesn't want to go?

"Why? Why would you say that? How about the 'Let's be strangers' shit you want to pull?" It wasn't mean to come out like that. I saw how pain crossed her eyes and how her mouth hanged, wanting to say something but no words are coming out.

I... I never meant to hurt her.

"You're so confusing. What the fuck do you really want." We're all humans. Sometimes, we say things we don't mean. And just like that, words carelessly slipped out of my mouth. It happens, when we hurt people without intending to but it will never be an excuse. It will never justify our actions.