It's 8:47 and I'm clinging onto my flannel. I can't think straight, my arms and legs are shaking.
This was supposed to be a good night.
Instead I'm cooped up by myself in a room to prevent him from seeing me. Is it that bad? I have no self confidence. Not even enough to say, "Hey, I was okay before you, and I'm sure as hell better after you."
The saddest part was, there was never a 'you and I'. It was always you, a bottle of whiskey, and drunken calls.
And then there was me. There was nothing special about me, I was just there. Barely there. Trying to make myself known but not in the best of ways either.
I think when you find yourself in the background, 10 years later you will still be in the background, still waiting for something or someone to dig you out of this hole that you somehow dug yourself into.
a.j.
