House of Caletara

Je ne regrette rien

Aurora Cassiopeia Caletara's welcoming into the world was done in the worst way possible. Unintentional death but death all the same. She stared at her daughter blonde almost silvery tuft of hair , forest green eyes and Snow White skin. A princess indeed. Beauty of one no doubt. The longer she gazed at her daughter the longer she thought of the scene where her youngest wife bled to death. It wasn't Aurora's fault, no she would never stoop down so low to blame her innocent daughter.

Never.

"I thought I'd come to let you know your mother is no longer with us" she whispered sadly as infant gripped her finger "She's somewhere better—  . One day you'll be able to see her again, not anytime soon I hope" Pausing, her emotions were still all over the place. They hadn't rung the bell yet, no it would be disrespectful to the death of their princess consort to do so instead they would hold off on announcing her latest child's birth until her they buried her wife. A tired sigh left her lips "You're perfect you know, so very perfect. Skin and white as snow, pure and so very good. This world..I need " she closed her eye "this world needs more goodness — something I'm sure you my darling Aurora will bring despite your violent welcome into it."

Forest green eyes opened staring directly back at her, there was a stillness, a calm serenity in those eyes, a calm that settled her soul. Clara may have left her but she left a piece of her soul behind— Alexandra found herself smiling softly at her daughter "Have you any idea what your name means little dove?" She asked gently before laughing at herself

"No of course not, you're a baby." She joked lightly.

"Aurora means dawn, something you represent, a new day. Cassiopeia your second name is the name a goddess of fantasy and the seas.." she whispered "a very strong yet gentle name.. I'm told names are important they represent what you stand for, what you could possibly do... and your potential. Though I don't believe I wish to place such a heavy burden on your shoulders just yet little dove. No, I want you to grow, love, and become as graceful and loving as your mother and as fierce and protective as me.. a goal I have no doubt you'll have no trouble reaching."

•••••••••••

The funeral proceeding her wife's departure was done on Caletara , her body wrapped in the silkiest white cloth, boarding a white oak boat and sent to the open seas, she blinked back the tears once Lance handed her the bow and arrow. The funeral itself reminded her of Vikings of old, similar to a funeral held by the ironborne. But to her it simply meant, a memory of how Clara found her way to Caletara and the way she would depart as well.

A burning arrow blazed underneath the afternoon sun arching high up into the sky, before deftly landing on the white oak boat sent to the ocean. She never removed her gaze from the view, allowing it to sear itself into her memory. The loss of an companion never is easy. She lost two people close to her heart — first her father and now her wife. Her darling Clara much too soon.

A small hand slid into her own, she didn't need to look to know who squeezed it. She returned the gentle squeeze.

A whisper left her lips before she could give it another thought "If you die, I don't think I'll make it." The statement was more than just a simple statement but rather a plea— begging Daenerys to never leave her, if she did she truly didn't think she'd be able to live through the gut wrenching pain.

"Then I will never die, I'll remain. We leave this world together or not at all" she wrapped her arm around her white haired queens waist in appreciation.

"I shall hold you to that my love" she murmured pressing a soft kiss to Daenerys' temple. "Always."

••••••••

Some people would say the reason they went into medicine was to find ways, techniques to prolong survival, to stave of the threat death.
Many moons ago that was her reason too.The morning she started her first class year of college she told her father of her aspirations.

His response was less than expected, she believed he'd be like minded as well. But then she didn't entirely understand his words but now she surely did.It resonated so deeply with her.Staring at the bottle on her table, teasing her, baiting her to simply lose herself in it.. something she wished she could give into but there were multiple reasons not too— it's been a month since Clara's death and for that entire months she's done nothing but work, drink, spend stolen moments with her son and daughter before inevitably going back to work again.

"Alex I didn't become a doctor to fight death. Death isn't something you can win against in the first place.

If there is anything like an undeniable truths in this world, a certainty , a fact you could never deny is that death comes for all. Young , old , middle aged, healthy or unhealthy. It will come. It doesn't ask for names, it doesn't ask for age, it has no favorites nor does it have any enemies. So if your reason for becoming a doctor is to fight death I'm sorry to say my love that's a losing battle.

The greatest certainty in life is death but the uncertainty would be the length of time we have. Don't waste the time you have, it's precious, try and save as many lives as you can, live as hard as you can, love even harder but don't fear it, never fear it. If my time or your time comes just hope that you've done everything to never have regrets."

Moisture gathered in her eye as she opened the scotch. A guilty pleasure she had taken too once she realized she could travel back and forth to her world.

Pouring a glass of the brownish liquid, she brought it to her lips "wiser words have never been spoken. So this is to you, may you find everlasting peace in the afterlife and know that I will care for our daughter enough for the both of us.. thank you for spending your time loving me and I will love you for all eternity.. as the French say ' Je ne regrette rien' "

"Are you coming to bed this evening?" She glanced up to see a expressionless Daenerys leaning against door.

"Perhaps."

Daenerys shook her head, she knew her wife was going through a rather difficult time but she was afraid she'd take to more drinking as a means of coping, Tyrion had already told her that's how Robert started after losing his love but Daenerys refused to believe it. If anything— she'd seen her wife going about her daily duties, spending time with their children but never returning to the marital bed. "You've taken up drinking" she mentioned casually.

Alex eyed her carefully "I have, though it shouldn't be something new. I've always enjoyed a glass of liquor" she stated nonchalantly.

Daenerys sighed "I'm here for you, I know her loss hurts you more deeply than I could ever understand but I'm here. I miss you.. Alex.. and you haven't been as present for the past few weeks"

Alex sighed inwardly, of course she knew that. There was no need for Daenerys to mention it. Instead of going off at her she tried remaining calm. There was no use insulting Daenerys, she was trying in her own way.

"I've missed you too, but forgive me I can't return to our bed yet."

The understanding yet sad expression crossing her white haired queens face , sent a pang of guilt through her chest. She hated herself for doing that but she couldn't allow herself to return just yet. The wounds were too fresh— logically she knew she was in the process of dealing with grief. Having her daughter in her arms made it infinitely better.. but still didn't take away the sting of knowing she'd be returning to one wife instead of two. No , the wound was still fresh and she'd need time for it to heal properly.

"I understand." Before Daenerys turned to take her leave "when you spoke that language what did it mean?"

Alexandra sent her wife a small but genuine smile "it's French, it means" she paused finishing her drink with a melancholic smile

"I regret nothing"

••••••••••