She wasn't sure when it started. She wasn't sure how it started. She just knew one day, a brownie was placed in front of her. And the next day, there was a cookie. And it went on like that for a long time. She didn't know when it started, but she could remember one of the first times.
*********
Linda sighed as she sat at the lunch table. She sat in the corner, away from everyone, hoping that no one would sit with her. She had no energy to smile and talk with the few friends she had. Her head pounded from lack of sleep, and her throat felt tight with nausea. She picked up her chicken nugget, and suspended it in the air by her mouth. She couldn't eat it; she tossed it down on her plate.
Why did her parents have to yell like that? Why did they have to wake her up and prevent her much needed sleep by yelling so loudly? She could still hear them in her head.
"She can't do that! She can't act that way! No one's going to want a crying, sniveling little baby!"
"Tony, she was upset about her grade."
The first D she had ever had; she cringed at the memory of the awful feeling in her gut.
"So she cries about it? She can't cry at the drop of a pin!"
"You don't have to tell me that!" Marni yelled back. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I've been telling her that?"
"You obviously haven't been doing a good enough job! She's a weak ass ho, who can't even begin to control her emotions!"
She could control her emotions, all right! She didn't cry in public, she didn't yell when people made her mad, and she didn't curse things when they didn't go how she indented. (Well, she didn't curse out loud and throw a hissy fit). And she kept her hands to herself when it came to Danny Reagan!
Speaking of Danny Reagan, there he was, suddenly sitting across from her. "You okay?"
"What?" Linda realized her voice cracked. She dug her nails into her thigh. Now he was going to ask questions she didn't want to answer!
"You okay? You never keep your mouth shut during science class."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Was she overreacting? Yeah, probably; she knew she was, but she couldn't help it. It sounded like an insult.
"That... you're really smart and know all the answers to the questions. So much so that teacher has told you not to answer all of them." He said it slowly, like he was scared of making her mad.
"Oh," her cheeks flushed red. "Well... thank you. And I'm okay. Just... tired."
"How come?"
"Why is anybody tired?" She sassed back, then cursed herself in her head again. She was being a brat; she couldn't be a brat. She couldn't prove her father right. She put her elbow on the table and her head in her hand. "Oh I'm sorry, Danny. Lack of sleep makes me a bratty bitch."
"You're not a bratty bitch."
A small smile graced her face, and she finally looked directly at him. And oh boy, did she want to kiss him! His eyes were so kind and concerned, and he was leaning on the table, as if awaiting anything she said with baited breath. She didn't like the attention, but she also loved it. She loved that he just wanted to hear what she had to say, that he was making sure she was okay.
Her brain short circuited, and she couldn't remember what they were talking about. She started to stammer, trying to come up with something to say.
"Hey, I got something for you!" He suddenly smiled and shoved his hand into his lunch bag. He pulled out a beautiful looking brownie. "My Mom made these, and I noticed you keep a bag of chocolates in your locker."
She blushed at that. He knew her addiction: chocolate.
"So I grabbed one for you." He pushed it towards her, the faint blush on his face was too cute for words.
Linda took the brownie and unwrapped it. She took a bite, and felt all her worries wash away. It was the best tasting brownie she had ever had. "Holy fudge, this is good!"
Danny grinned and laughed at the use of "fudge". "Good!"
He was about to say more when the bell rang. Linda quickly ate the rest of the brownie, her cheeks puffing because there was too much in her mouth. She shrugged and blushed, and threw away her uneaten lunch.
That was the first time he bought sweets to her. It wasn't going to be the last time.
**********
She realized she was feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help the onslaught of tears that came every day. She just wanted to be home. But then the sickening realization came that she didn't have a home, and she cried even more.
She told herself to pull herself together, to get out of this funk- as her father would call it- but she couldn't.
She didn't know how, but suddenly she was in Danny's arms. Where had he come from? She was all alone in the hospital bed... wasn't she? She curled into him, ignoring the pain shooting through her arm. She couldn't hear a word he was saying, but she could feel his hand at the nape of her neck. She could feel his fingers scratch her scalp, lightly pulling at the very obvious brown roots there.
She let out a shuttering breath as her tears subsided. She didn't say anything as he carefully maneuvered them to lie against the pillows.
Very gently, Danny wiped away Linda's tears with his thumb. He smiled as her expression went from distraught to serene. He kissed her forehead, one arm still securely around her. "You okay?"
"Just frus-" she stopped, the word suspended on her tongue. She couldn't remember the rest of the word. She felt the tears rising back up her throat; why couldn't she remember things anymore? It frustrated her to no end!
"Frustrated."
That was the word! She nodded, glad he could read her thoughts. "It makes me want to cry."
"I know, baby, I know." His voice was soft, and the kiss to her forehead was softer still. Comfortable silence passed before he said, "hey, I got something for you!"
She painfully sat up as he got off the bed. She watched him pick a paper bag off the floor. He sat next to her once more, and shoved his hand in the bag.
He pulled out the biggest chocolate chip cookie she had ever seen. "I made sure it was milk chocolate, so you wouldn't get a headache eating it all in one sitting."
The toothiest grin spread across her face. Unlike that first day he had ever bought her sweets, she could now throw her arms around him and kiss all the life out of him.
And she did just that, because she was his wife, and that meant she could kiss him whenever, however, and wherever she wanted.
